Page 64 of Somewhere Only We Know
I still get tingles when I remember that Jax and I are legally married. At least one of us is thinking clearly, because I’m clearly thinking with my heart.
“The married part,” she clarifies and reaches for the volume remote to turn the TV down.
“I should probably alert my agent and publicist that I’m married. Along with my accountant and lawyer.”
“So many people.” Jax groans.
“Yeah,” I say, “we could have fun with the publicist part.”
“Are you suggesting we tell Sarah we’re married?”
I pull back and look at her. “Do you not want to?”
“I do.” Jax says and I smirk at her word choice. She gently hits me on the chest and sits up. “I thought I would tell my sister first, but knowing her she would blab about it in our group chat before we had a chance to tell anyone else.”
My eyebrows lift as I watch Jax run herself into a panic. “Bee, breathe.”
She does her deep breaths and relaxes. “Okay, I’m good. I want us to tell Sarah. Your team should be ahead of this before the media anyways.”
“Good plan. I can’t wait to date my wife.”
“How long have you been wanting to say that?”
I do the math and tilt my head, looking up at the ceiling. “About nine years.”
“You know, with dating comes other things…” Jax says coyly and draws a random pattern on the couch.
I grab the remote and pause the forgotten movie. “You’re right.”
“This marriage is off to a great start.”
I throw a pillow at her face, muffling her laughter. “Okay. Let’s talk about it.”
Jax drops the pillow from her face and pushes her hair back. “You first.”
“Zero,” I tell her. “Not since before you.”
“What?”
I hold my hand up in a zero for my silently repeated answer.
“How is that…what about the cleat chasers in every city?” Her beautiful face scrunches up as she tries to understand.
“They tried. E for effort on their part.”
“But you have needs.”
I hold up my hand again as if that’s explanation enough. Yeah, it’s pathetic now that I’m in this moment. I haven’t had sex in over ten years. Have I missed the act? Of course. But having it to have it with a random hookup never appealed to me. I’m a relationship man through and through and the only person I’ve wanted is right in front of me.
“I got by. Enough with me and my celibacy.”
Jax adjusts, folding her legs under her and sitting on her feet. “Just my ex. But not as much as he wanted.”
“He didn’t…” If she says he forced himself on her, I will find him and make him wish he was never born.
“Force himself on me? No. Was any of it enjoyable? Also no.”
My body is throwing a malfunction code. The man in me wants to throw her over my shoulder and show her what she’s been missing. But I fear that would come off as retaliation and that’s not how I want mine and Jax’s first time to be. Plus, I’d come after two seconds and that’d be more embarrassing than admitting I haven’t had sex in over a decade.
