Page 53 of Somewhere Only We Know
“Do you trust me?”
She hesitates and I’d be hurt if I didn’t know the reason. I hurt her. Left her. So she has every reason to balk at my question. I give her hand a light squeeze to let her know it’s okay if she doesn’t fully trust me. With a lot of work on myend, I do hope that one day I can get her trust back. Jax gives me a small nod and I have to tamp down the urge to throw my hands up in victory like I hit a walk-off Grand Slam.
I take a tentative step backwards and drag her along with me. Seeing the smile teasing at the corner of her lips has mine threatening to take full formation.
When the sign for the Botanical Gardens comes into view, I see recognition fall on Jax’s face. And maybe a bit of sorrow? It has me worried that I’m way overstepping. I don’t know if she’s been to one since college, I know I haven’t.
“Nate…”
“Trust me?” I ask softly again. When Jax meets my eyes, I let out a breath when she nods.
Wordlessly we walk up the pathway and through the sliding doors. This is one of the most iconic hotels in Vegas and I’m slightly upset our group isn’t staying here. Jax and I navigate our way to the Gardens, which isn’t on as large of a scale as the one in Philly, but still holds a bit of nostalgia for the both of us.
With it getting later into the night, it’s thankfully not as busy as reported so Jax and I take our time walking through the exhibit. Stepping foot in here, it’s like I could see the weight of the past lift off of her and witness joy take its place. I’ve followed her around, like I used to, as she explored, taking pictures of flowers and the themes, while my eyes have never left her. If I had my camera, the lens would have had her as my main subject.
We get to the end of the exhibit and take in what we saw. The quiet was one of the reasons I wanted to bring her here. It seems Jax thrives in areas where she can get her bearings.
“Where to now?” She asks as if I had a grand plan all along. I didn’t. But it’s nice that she’s looking at me like this instead of like an enemy.
I shove my hands in my front pockets and lazily shrug. “The rooftop?”
“Okay,” Jax agrees nervously and looks around for the elevator bay.
I point to the opposite side of the lobby and we head that direction. Our steps are both lighter having been paired up for the last handful of hours. When we file into the elevator, we take up opposite sides and I watch as Jax leans her head back and closes her eyes.
“Are you okay?” I ask, mildly concerned that she’s about to display her dinner.
“Mm hmm,” she responds without opening her eyes. “Just not a fan of elevators going this high.”
“Since when?” I ask. If I can keep her mind off the small car taking us up ten stories, I’ll do anything.
“Since forever. I’ve always had this weird fear of the elevator stopping and plummeting to the ground. What a morbid way to go, huh?”
“Well, I didn’t have that fear until now.”
She peaks an eye open and looks at me with a grimace. “Sorry.”
“Don’t be. Tell me another fear.”
“Waking up and realizing I’ve missed out on big moments because I’m scared.”
I look at Jax. And really look at her. The hard swallow, the tenseness in her jaw, how her shoulders cave inward–what happened to her?
“The Jax I knew wasn’t scared of anything.”
Her eyes blink open and she tilts her head down so we’re looking at each other. “The Jax you knew, had you by her side.”
I open my mouth to tell her that I never left, when the doors open. But the truth still stands that I did leave her.
“1,2, 3, 4, I declare a thumb war.” Jax says this round.
We’ve been playing this childhood game, but made it adult with alcohol, for the past hour. And for every game one loses, they take a shot. So far we’re tied. Plus, we’ve been asking each other questions so it’s not been too bad of a time.
“My favorite color is still yellow, but it verges on shades of pink now and again,” Jax says.
I pause our game by tucking my thumb and looking her outfit up and down.
“Okay, besides this outfit. Untuck your thumb,” she scolds with a smile.
