Page 53 of Let It Be Me
“I think it’s refreshing.” I tell him and lean over to kiss his cheek.
We finish eating our food and sit back in our chairs once we push our plates forward.
“How’s your head?” Riley asks sincerely.
“I still have a dull headache. Which is normal the day after a migraine.”
“Do you know what causes them? I’m sorry, I’ve just never had a migraine like what you’ve experienced,” Riley says.
I bring a leg up on the chair and hook my arms around my shin to keep it in place. “I wish I knew. I’ve been tested. But I think they’re genetic. I don’t get them as often as I used to. Occasionally one will come and take me out for the day. All that I do is ride the agonizing wave.”
“I’m glad I came over yesterday to try and soothe your pain.”
I rest my head on my knee and turn to face Riley. “Me too.”
We stare at each other in the morning light of my kitchen. Blue eyes to blue eyes. Calm to calm. And I realize I’ve never felt more at peace than in this moment with him.
“I told my friends that we’re dating.”
His eyebrows are covered when they fly to his hairline. “What’d they say?”
“A lot ofI knew itand emojis depicting excitement for me. They’re eager to meet you.”
“Did they meet your ex?”
My upper lip curls. “Do you really want to talk about this?”
“Knowing you is knowing some of your past. So yeah, I do.”
I let my leg down and instead slide them over Riley’s outstretched limbs. His bear paw comes to rest on my knee and seeing his inked skin against my sweatpants is an intoxicating sight.
“Kamryn met him once and she didn’t like him all thatmuch. And now that I’m removed from that time in my life I can see what she didn’t like about him. But at the time I was blinded by lust and the attention he gave me that I mistook it for love. He put me on a pedestal and I think that’s why our breakup changed me.”
“Your reason for not loving?”
“Yeah,” I tell him. “My therapist said that I’m vulnerable in my everyday life but when it came to my new feelings for you I refused to acknowledge that part of my vulnerability.”
“I’m scared too,” Riley admits.
“You are?” I ask and look up at him.
“My feelings for you slammed into me out of nowhere. It’s almost like hockey was in the way and I made any excuse to have you around.”
“Like you canceling my hotel room,” I note.
“Guilty.” He says with a wide smile.
“Question,” I say.
He nods. “I might have an answer.”
“Why do you call me Blue?”
“Because of your eyes,” he says with no hesitation.
“Most people would have called me Red. But you went for my eyes. Why?”
“Because I feel like they change color every time I look into them. One day they’re deeper than an ocean blue and the next they resemble the blue from a crayon.”
