Page 87 of Let It Be Me
“Jax–” I start, but she holds her hand up to stop me.
“I’m not like you, or Emily, or even my sister. So it was easy for me to stay with someone for the fear of being alone forever. But this is my life and what I’ve chosen.” Jax says and turns out of the room.
I bite the inside of my lips as my eyes well with tears. Riley rushes over and holds me to him. “How can she just shake it off? That’s not love.”
“That’s her version of love, Blue. No matter how sick and twisted it is. That’s unfortunately her version. Mason told Kamryn that she needs to be the one to end it with him. And hopefully this will be the driving force for her to end it with him.”
We stay like this in the middle of the empty room and I let what happened wash over me. Did Jax leave too? Did she rush after that waste of space? It’s her sister’s wedding for crying out loud. And if she’s not here then I won’t know what to say to Kamryn.
I pull back and wipe under my eyes. “Okay. Let’s go back.”
“Are you sure?” Riley asks and ducks down a little so he’s eye-level with me.
“Yeah.” I nod.
He takes my hand and together we walk back to the reception hall. I hope we didn’t miss Kam and Mason’s entrance. I don’t think she’d forgive us for that. But would she forgive me for keeping this important piece of information from her?
“Ladies and gentleman,please direct your attention to thedance floor for the bride and groom’s first dance,” the DJ announces.
Riley moves me to stand in front of him as Mason pulls Kamryn onto the dance floor with him. His arms wrap around me and I’m completely immersed in him as we sway to the song while the couple dances their first dance.
Jax returned to the reception and managed to sneak Trent in with her. I’ve swiftly avoided both of them. Not because I’m mad at Jax, but I’m disappointed. I know those in abusive relationships can’t just leave. But I at least hoped that with all of the examples of love around her, she would see that she deserves more.
“I love you,” Riley says in my ear. “I love your heart, I love your devotion, and most of all I love that you never give up on the people who matter the most to you.”
I lean into him and pull his arms tighter around me. “I love you, too.”
Aside from the tension within our group, the rest of the night goes on without any issues. The bouquet toss ends with Emily winning the bouquet, while Adam wins the garter toss. If my senses are as accurate as I claim them to be, then Adam has something up his sleeve.
Riley and I stay wrapped in each other’s arms for the rest of the night. Dancing to all of the songs and swaying to the slow songs. Declaring our love to each over and over.
When the announcement is made that the bride and groom are preparing to take off, those of us still left head outside for their farewell. Jax and I end up standing across from each other and I’ve never felt like more of a trash human. She doesn’t return my smile and does everything she can to focus her attention on Trent. Sparklers are passed out and lit right before the bride and groom make their exit. While our cheering is genuine, it’s subdued for howexhausted we all are. And when the car pulls off, we all put our sparklers out and start to collect the things we brought with us.
“Jax,” I say and try to start a conversation with her. But she pulls on Trent’s hand and they disappear into the night.
“Try again next week, baby.” Riley says and wraps his arm around my shoulder.
I sigh in defeat and follow him to get the rest of my things. We say goodbye to Emily and Adam with promises to double-date soon. Our car is waiting to take us back to my place and tiredly, we climb into the backseat. Riley holds my hand in his and reassures me that I did nothing wrong.
The problem with wanting to fix things, is that you want to try to fix people too. No matter your profession, put a problem in front of someone and they’ll try to fix it. I don’t want to fix Jax, but I do want to help and show her that she’s worth so much more than some guy who constantly compares her to other women and tears her down just so he can feel better about himself. But did I go about it the wrong way? At the time, I saw nothing wrong with easing into her life. Maybe she would confide in me and tell me she wants an out. But maybe, just maybe, this is a problem for Kamryn to fix.
Our car stops at my house and Riley tells the driver he’ll get the door. He loops his fingers in mine and pulls me up to the front door. We set our loose belongings in the front room and lock up before heading upstairs.
I grab a makeup wipe when in the bathroom and start taking all of my makeup off. I’m exhausted, but going to bed with makeup on is shown to age you faster. And, no thank you. I toss the cotton round in the trash and turn to Riley, “Will you unhook me?”
He pushes my hair to the side and my dress loosens as the two buttons keeping my dress in place separate.
Silently, I step inside the shower and wait for him to join me.
“What can I do, Blue?” He asks and holds me to him.
The water from the shower mixes well with my tears that I finally let free. “If I had the answer, I would tell you. But I feel…helpless.”
“You saying something could possibly be one of the things Jax needed to hear.”
“I hope so. My ex was not verbally abusive like Trent, but I still had no one tell me I had an out.”
“And you’re scared that if you didn’t say anything, something irreparable would have happened?”
