Page 45 of Greedy Grizzly
Breast cancer, two words I feared the most, after my mother lost her battle with the bitch. And now they were in the written word of a text.
Bridget: Breast cancer. Mayo Clinic on July 20 @ 8am. Just thought you should know.
I couldn’t breathe as I stared at the message. My former life was roaring back uninvited. Every worry I’d kept locked inside me had suddenly become a reality. Not for me, though, for my sister. It still hit too freaking close to home.
For the past decade, I have lived my life to the fullest and never took a single day for granted. I hadn’t tempted the fates or challenged karma. I was a good person, kind and caring, and I prayed it would somehow work in my favor.
But I also dreaded turning thirty, and discovering all the good I’d done had been for nothing.
Mom’s oncologist had told my sister and me that we had a fifty percent chance of getting breast cancer because we were first-degree relatives, and our mother developed hers before she turned fifty. We’d agreed to genetic testing, and both had been positive for the BRCA1 variant, increasing our chances even more.
Still, the heartbreaking results hadn’t been a guarantee one of us or both would contract cancer. All hope hadn’t been lost… But it had felt like a curse, an evil prediction of our impending death.
Would we even make it to fifty?
Would my sister make it to forty? She was only thirty-four.
This vicious disease that took my mom at such a young age had been the primary reason why I’d rejected Bryan’s proposal. He had so much promise as a defense attorney. He wanted a family. He wanted to build an empire and generational wealth for his children, like his parents had done for him. I couldn’t stand in his way of making all his dreams come true.
I remembered the day I broke his heart so vividly…
“Will you make me the happiest man on the planet and marry me?” Bryan dropped onto one knee and presented a diamond ring fit for a queen. The stone was larger than a blueberry. It was the most magnificent thing I’d ever seen, and he was offering it to me. Me.
I teared up, shaking my head no. As much as I wanted to scream, yes! I couldn’t.
“Please don’t ask me to marry you. I’m not the right girl for you.” I choked back my emotion. “You deserve someone elegant and educated. Not me.” Not someone who could die of cancer. He knew about my mom’s death and battle with cancer. But he didn’t know my chances of getting it, too.
“Are you joking right now?” He stared at me with confusion in his eyes. “You’re the perfect girl, Lydia. Beautiful and fun, sweet and kind. If you want to go to college, I’ll pay for it. Baby, I will give you your heart’s desire. Just say yes.”
“Do you want children?” I knew he wouldn’t say no. But I had to ask. I needed to confirm his position so I could destroy his dreams of marrying me and having a family. Not that I wanted to break his heart…
“Of course. But there’s no rush. I can wait three to five years. Any later than that, and my parents will get impatient.” He laughed nervously while kissing the top of my hand. “We will have a beautiful life, Lydia. I promise it will be everything. More than you ever dreamt of.”
I believed it would be, but how could I say yes, knowing what I knew about my cancer risks?
“Honey? Say something.”
“Bryan, I love you. I do. But I’m not in love with you.” I blinked away tears. I wasn’t lying. I loved him, but not how he was in love with me, or so I’d convinced myself. “I don’t want to hurt you, but—”
“You’re breaking my heart.” He got to his feet and tucked the ring into his pocket. “What have we been doing all this time?”
“Having fun when you come to Cleveland.” I forced a smile,but I knew those weren’t the words he wanted to hear.
“Look around.” He scanned the room. “You’ve become my woman.”
“No. I’m your Cleveland lover.”
“Bullshit! We’re a couple. You just refuse to see it.”
“No, you let your emotions get involved in our fucking!” I dried my tears and found the strength to fight with him. Usually, I let him have his way. It wasn’t easy to argue with a high-powered lawyer. But I had to this time.
“And yours didn’t? Am I only a good fuck to you?”
“Yes, that’s what I thought we were to each other.” Had I lost my mind? Had he?
Naturally, we’d gotten closer. How could we not after two years together? But not once had he alluded to anything changing between us. But he wasn’t the only one to blame. I should have seen this next step coming, and I probably did, and forced myself into ignoring it.
He stared at me aghast. “Wow. Don’t I feel like the woman in our relationship, totally blindsided, thinking everything was hunky dory.”
