Page 23 of Greedy Grizzly
What just happened?
Why did I play along?
Fuck, I need to get out of here!
Then again, all my life I wanted to experience what it was like being with a guy. I knew what I felt, but hadn’t actually testedthe waters. My foster dad had made me too afraid to give into my taste for men.
Maybe this was my chance. Maybe Libby was hoping this very thing would happen to me. She often prayed for stuff, while I wasn’t religious at all.
I pretended to be unaffected as I drank my cocktail and watched him work, warring with myself over what to do.
Should I stay or should I go?
Up until last summer, before Libby was shot, she had been with others. It hadn’t bothered methatmuch. First and foremost, she was a Kitten and I’d respected her choices.
But Libby had been changing her tune following the craziness with Dorian Adrienne, Raymond being kidnapped, and her getting shot. She’d been growing more comfortable with the idea of becoming my old lady.
Sadly, I wasn’t so sure about her anymore.
She’d betrayed me in the worst way, and I didn’t know if I could forgive her. Was it even possible to come back from a breach of trust?
Mr. Bartender kept glancing at me as he served customers.
I was growing curiouser by the second. Did he want to take me behind the building and pound into me against the brick wall? Did he want me on my knees, sucking him off? Or would we just talk?
No. I wouldn’t allow anything emotional. All he’d ever be was sex.
Suddenly, he appeared in front of me. “I’ll be in the bathroom.” He nudged his head toward the direction he was going and stared at me. His electric-blue eyes darkened to almost black.
In the few seconds it took for me to comprehend what was happening, his whole aura had changed from friendly and flirty to demanding and domineering.
He issued me a sharp nod as if saying,see you there. Then, he left, not waiting for my reply. He didn’t offer me an alternative, only an expectation of me meeting him in the men’s bathroom.
Damn! Talk about bold and unabashed.
If I read him right, he was all about the sex, too. He wanted me. ME. No man had ever propositioned me before.
I couldn’t deny it was a thrilling prospect. We hadn’t even exchanged names. I had only been at the bar an hour…
This was insanely exciting. Dopamine flooded my veins and my heart rate kicked up a few notches. Nothing like this had ever happened to me, but maybe it would have if I’d gone to the right places and made myself available.
With that thought, I swallowed the rest of my drink and scooted off the stool. I made my way through the crowd to meet Mr. Bartender, as he commanded, when guilt threatened to ruin my rendezvous with a complete stranger.
But I shouldn’t feel guilty. Libby had given me her blessing. It had been her idea to let loose and be me. She’d encouraged me.
And after what she’d done, I shouldn’t be worrying about her feelings. I should do what was best for me. Do what I wanted to do.
As the people pleaser in me tried to talk me out of going to meet the sexy stranger, the broken boy living in my soul begged to stay the course and defy his foster dad, for all the years he had tormented us.
And nobody would ever know…
6
GRIZZLY, AGE 18
My body responded to her riding me, even though I didn’t want to feel enjoyment or come inside her. Just because I liked guys didn’t mean my body cared. Pleasure was pleasure.
My dick got hard when she stimulated it. And at eighteen years old, it didn’t take much to get me aroused. I hated it and loved it all at the same time.
