Page 40 of Greedy Grizzly
My knees buckled and I landed on the floor, completely beside myself. She was confused. I wasn’t hearing her right. The poor girl didn’t know what she was saying.
But I was in denial and understood every word. Apparently, I hadn’t been the only one being abused in the house.
“Violet?” Basil called from his bedroom. “Where’s my coffee?”
“Oh, gosh! I’m late.” She dried her eyes and took the mugs to the tray. “Are we okay?”
Damn, she recovered quickly.
“Yeah, don’t worry, sweetheart. Everything is going to be just fine.” Fine when they were dead and not able to hurt anyone else.
“Okay.” She smiled brightly and scurried out of the kitchen.
How could I have not known what was going on right under my nose? Right next to my bedroom?
Rage exploded in me. I wanted to scream. Destroy everything around me. But instead, I channeled my fury to give me strength to carry out my plans. And the first part had just left with Violet.
Basil and Juniper would not come out of their bedroom. They’d be asleep for hours and that was when I’d get the other kids out of the house. I’d take them to their favorite ice cream parlor, pretend like I needed to buy Violet a wedding gift, then I’d be gone and the kids would be safe, including Violet…
“Grizz? Grizz are you okay?”
I jerked myself back to the present when I registered Toby’s voice. “Huh? What?”
“When I came back, you were like a statue, but with tears rolling down your face.” He reached his finger and swiped a drop off my cheek.
“Don’t do that,” I hissed at him and swatted his hand away.
“Do what? Touch you?”
“Yes.” I sneered at him and got off the chair, then headed for the door. I was emotionally fucked up after recalling the last day I ever saw Violet. I needed space. Needed to process my fucked up childhood all over again, and what I’d done that day.
“Where are you going?” he asked as if he deserved to know my business.
“Out. I need fresh air.” I burst out of the shack and stalked toward the massive garage, where the club’s hogs were parked. No one would be behind it.
I needed to be alone.
Needed to think.
Needed to not breathe the same air as Toby.
Breathing in and out, trying to calm myself, I put my back against the metal building. Why was my past roaring back to life? I covered my face. Why did it feel like my whole life was going to implode?
Was it having Toby here?
Was it Maddy and Storm knowing I was gay?
Was it Libby’s betrayal?
Whatever it was, I wanted it to stop, so I could go back to being invisible.
“Before you yell at me, there is something I need to tell you.” Toby rounded the corner, a look of determination on his face.
“Jesus, can’t I have a minute of privacy? I don’t want to talk right now. Can’t you respect that?”
“Yes, but I feel like you need to hear what I have to say. It might help you.”
“Doubt it,” I scoffed, shaking my head. Nothing he said could help me, while I battled my episode of emotional duress. Clearly, a lot had happened over the last several days and I wasn’t handling it very well. “Say what you need to say, then leave me alone.”
