Page 19 of Greedy Grizzly
My gaze went to the tree where Landon and I had been behind. My cheeks warmed and fresh tears stung my eyes. Ourhot and steamy encounter had only been an hour ago, if that. How quickly our lives had unraveled—because of me.
It wasn’t easy pretending I was okay, when Landon’s absence was tearing me apart from the inside out. All I wanted to do was hide in our room and cry into my pillow. But I couldn’t give into my emotions. I needed to hold myself together as difficult as it might be.
After all, this wasn’t the first time I’d had my heart ripped out—by my own doing. It’d been years ago. A lifetime ago. I had almost broken completely. Almost.
Yes, I’d fallen apart.
Yes, I’d been a basket case.
Yes, I’d thought my life was over after giving him up.
But I’d pulled myself together and vowed to never allow another man to burrow so deeply into my soul.
Yet, here I was, holding back gutting sobs over aman.
“Would you like some iced tea, honey?” Sugar asked, gently squeezing my shoulder.
Out of all the old ladies, Sugar was my favorite. She had more mileage behind her than the others and a plethora of wisdom. She was the OG old lady. Beautiful. Mature. Fierce. I wanted to be just like her when I grew up.
“That would be great,” I replied. “Adding a splash of whiskey would be even better.” I smiled weakly, forcing myself to be present and shake off the bad stuff.
“I’ll get you a new bottle.” Jaynee’s voice came from somewhere in the kitchen. I hadn’t noticed her until this second. It was obvious news of my fallout with Grizzly was making its way around the club.Awesome.
“He’ll be back,” Sugar whispered. “He loves you. Give him the time he needs.” She set the glass on the table beside me, then returned to her cooking duties.
I nodded, refocusing my attention on baby Chase. It felt like an elephant had collapsed on my chest and smashed my lungs into pancakes as I digested Sugar’s words.
Landon did love me, but sometimes love wasn’t enough. Sometimes a betrayal was too massive to forgive and forget.
An arm reached around me and a bottle of Maker’s Mark joined my iced tea. Jaynee hadn’t said a word as she poured the amber liquid into my glass, then left.
I lifted the drink to my lips and took a hearty gulp and embraced the burn. The voices in the room quieted and my heart rate slowed to a normal speed.
I took another drink, and the tension in my body melted away.
Another large sip, and I was doing so much better.
Before I knew it, the glass was empty and I felt like I could conquer the world. Taking out my cell phone from my dress’s pocket, I decided to send Landon a message.
Libby: Take all the time you need. I’ll be here.
It didn’t matter whether he read it or not . I sent it, then promptly typed another.
Libby: If you’re in The Cities, let loose. Nobody is watching. Be you.
I pushedsendbefore I changed my mind and deleted it.
For so many years, I’d been with most of the Knights while Landon slept with no one else. He’d been great about it, knowing I was first and foremost a Kitten. I had duties to fulfill. An obligation. I’d done my job unapologetically, never intending to fall in love…
I sighed, staring at the message, the one with my approval and encouragement for him to have sex with someone otherthan me. The whiskey I’d downed had been the liquid courage I needed to give him my blessing to fuck around.
But a smidge of regret pricked my heart. I was purely being selfish when I had no right to be.
He’d been so damn loyal from the beginning, while I continued to be with other men, and then Toby. Stubbornly, I wouldn’t commit to Landon. He’d asked to claim me many times, and I’d refused, not wanting to mess up our arrangement. And risk heartbreak.
Not becoming Landon’s old lady was now the biggest mistake of my life. If I’d let him claim me, maybe, just maybe, today wouldn’t have happened.
Why do I lose every guy I love?
