Page 35 of Bricked Up
“Yup, that’s the one.” Saadiq nodded with a smile.
“A’ight, so what’s the problem? She don’t love you like she used to?” Glen asked as his brows shot up curiously.
“Nah, it ain’t that. But I’m just trying to figure out if she ever truly loved me in the first place,” Saadiq explained as he took a beat to gather his thoughts before he proceeded to break down what happened between him and Zia and why he wanted advice on the issue.
“A’ight,” Glen nodded after listening quietly to his grandson explain what was bothering him. “Now you know that even though I love you, I’m ‘bout to give it to you straight, no chaser.”
“Of course, that’s why I come to you for the truth.”
“Okay, so let me ask you this, do you feel the same way about Zia as you always have?”
“Yeah, absolutely, but?—”
“Nah, no butts, son. You love her. That’s it. So why risk losing her a second time? One I might add would be your fault this time around. The girl made a mistake. Was she wrong as two left feet to just run the way she did without talking to you first? I would say yes, but that fight or flight response she had was from trauma. From some nigga before you fucking over her. So you can’t get pissed at her for protecting herself when you can’t sayfor a fact that you wouldn't have done the same thing. But you know what’s even more important, though, Saadiq?”
“She apologized, you said you felt like she meant it, and it sounds like she’s still head over heels in love with you. So, while it’s cool to address the past, if she was strong enough to apologize and you were strong enough to forgive her, there is no reason for the issue to become a current source of turmoil, poisoning your present and future. Especially with a little one on the way.”
“I get that, Pop-pop, but what if it happens again and she takes my kids. I barely made it through losing her the first time, if I lose her and my kid, ion know what?—”
“Saadiq, why are you stressing over something that hasn’t happened and isn’t guaranteed to happen again. You're both older and wiser, and you’re about to become parents. Still allowing what-ifs and fears to ruin the love that God blessed you with a second time is insane. Life appears to be a long journey, son. But in reality, it’s so much shorter than we all realize. So don’t be stupid and fuck up a love that the man upstairs allowed you to experience twice. Time is ticking. Regret isn’t an easy thing to live with, and neither is living without your soulmate. If Zia does it again, then you move accordingly. However, based on what you told me about her, I don’t think she will. But honestly, if I were you, I’d go get my woman, cuz I guarantee you this, whatever hurt and pain you’re feeling now, ain’t got shit on the pain you’ll feel if you’ve run her away.”
Saadiq hung out with his grandfather a few more hours, just shooting the breeze and talking shit, before they called it a night and he headed home. As he put the miles behind him and “Sunshine” by Alexander O’Neal, tried to soothe his frantic mind, Saadiq was still feeling some typa way. He knew his grandfather was right, but he just needed time to figure shit out. For the next three weeks, Saadiq couldn’t bring himself to sayanything to Zia outside of texting her for updates on her and the baby’s health.
He felt like an ass, but he couldn’t help but still feel torn behind the shit. He’d put security on her and was watching her every move, sending her flowers and lunch and dinner and all kinds of gifts and her favorite things, but he didn’t go near her. He didn’t know what this shit meant for them, but he’d missed her more now than when she left his ass the first time. Saadiq was missing her like crazy, but until he could come to terms with their past, he didn’t know how the fuck they were gonna have a future.
CHAPTER NINE
“Britt, me and Saadiq are over. I feel it. This time feels even worse than before. I think we’re just gonna co-parent the baby, but that’s it. He said he forgave me, but now I know that shit was all bullshit. He’s still holding it against me that I left. And honestly, I don’t even blame him.” Zia mumbled sadly between sips of her mango-strawberry juice as she stretched her legs out on the couch.
Brittany had just FaceTimed her sister to see what she was up to once she got in from work, but the news of her and Saadiq’s break-up was the last thing she expected. “Bitch, wait a damn minute. What the hell happened? Y’all just got back together an eye blink ago.”
“I’m too hurt to laugh, but you’re insane. You’re also correct, though,” Zia sighed as she blinked back a fresh set of tears. “I love that man with all my heart and soul, but he’s right. I didn’t think about him or his feelings. I didn’t give a fuck. I just took off. But that fight or flight response is the only way I’ve been able to survive all the no-good bastards that came before him and all the people who came into my life who intentionally hurt me. So when all that shit went down, the only thing I cared about wasgetting out of there and moving on with my life. Maybe I was wrong to–”
“Bullshit, Zia,” Brittany quickly interrupted Zia’s pity party. “You weren’t wrong. So don’t even say or think that shit. You protected yourself the way you thought best. And not Saadiq nor any other man has a right to be pissed at you behind that. Now, while I know Saadiq loves you, I’on like the fact that his ass is stressing you out. Especially while you're pregnant with Tete’s baby, so you want me to go give his ass a piece of my mind now or later? ‘Cause ain’t nobody got time for this kinda fuck shit.”
“No, Britt,” Zia chuckled softly. “I don't want you to do anything. I get it. So I'm just gonna respect his wishes. I just love him so much, and the thought of being without him again hurts. I get why he’s pissed, and I know I hurt him, but I thought he’d forgiven me. But why would he still want to marry me if he knew he felt this way all along?”
“That nigga is crazy, but he ain’t crazy. He loves you, and y’all ain’t bout to stress me out with this dumb shit. And I’m not about to allow you to wallow in pity and sadness, either. So get up, get dressed, and meet me at Tunks bar. We gon’ toss back virgin pina coladas and pig out on the best chicken nachos in town. Then, we’re gonna dance all your blues away. And if you're not feeling better by tomorrow, I’m going to talk to Saadiq whether you want me to or not, curse his ass out, and find you a new nigga. Are we clear, ma’am?”
“I don’t know,” Zia winked as she scooted her body down into the couch. “Britt, I’m really not in the mood to?—”
“Fine, I’ll just go pay your baby daddy a visit. And show every bit of my ass up in there since ya’ll both wanna play these childish ass games.” Brittany popped off as she hopped up and headed for the shower.
“On second thought, Britt,” Zia jumped up and headed to her bedroom. I’m suddenly feeling the vibe. “I’ll meet you in a couple of hours.”
“Yeah, I thought so, I’ll see you shortly,” Brittany cackled as he turned on the shower. “And dress extra sexy. “‘Cause I’m ‘bout to make sure you remind Saadiq what the fuck his ass is about to miss out on if he keeps acting stupid.”
“Yes, ma’am, any more demands while you’re at it, Britt?”
“Nope, but you know that if I think of anything, I won’t hesitate to call.”
Laughing, Zia nodded in agreement. “Don’t I know it, bye chile.”
“Oh, wait, whatever happened to Raymond, Zia? Did you ever call him back? ‘Cause maybe you can have him meet you for drinks and?—”
“Gurl, I forgot to tell you. He told me to fuck off, and he blocked me. He waited in his ride outside the restaurant and saw me walk outside with Saadiq. Saw Saadiq grab my ass. He texted me and told me that he doesn’t play childish ass games and to never contact him again.”
“Ha, that nigga sounds like he was big mad,” Brittany cackled while clapping her hands together in amazement. “Oh well, fuck him,” Brittany said once she finally stopped laughing. “We’ll just have to find another nigga to make Saadiq’s ass jealous. He ain’t the only nigga walking around this muthafucka.”
