Page 88 of Sunshine with You
“Not well.” I titter nervously. My hands shake from the drop in adrenaline as I try to steady my breathing.
Trevor squats, peering at me with concern in his eyes. “Can I help you into the chair to look at it?”
I nod, and he lifts me at my hips, setting me on the nearest barstool.You’re using Trevor as a distraction.
“I don’t think it’s broken… I’m gonna grab some ice. Are you okay by yourself for a sec?”
“Yeah.” I hope my smile is convincing. Handsy Mustache retreated to the corner with his friends as soon as Hunter dropped him, so I don’t think he’ll be a problem anymore. “I’m fine.” I wave him off like my thoughts aren’t pulverizing me from the inside.Love changes everything.
When Trevor returns, he drags over another barstool and props up my leg, positioning the ice around my steadily swelling ankle. He’s caring for me in all the right ways, but I’m so numb right now, I can’t dwell on it. “I’m gonna pull my truck around. Do you want to ride along while I drop off Chayla? I can take you back to your hotel after.”
“Yeah, that’s…” It’s probably for the best, really. My mind is moving at warp speed, and I need to sort through everything from the last thirty minutes.I need to calm down.“That’s a good idea,” I say.
Trevor smiles.And I don’t feel anything? “Stay here. I’ll help you to the truck when I get it out front.” He squeezes my shoulder and walks to the table, stopping to talk with Willa before heading out the door. Willa pulls out her phone, juggling it while holding a weeping Kayla.
Willa
You okay?
Me
Landed on my ankle.
Willa
Girl, you know I don’t mean your ankle… That was intense.
Me
Trevor’s going to drive me back to the hotel. Will you make sure Hunter’s okay?
Willa
You need to talk to him.
Me
I can’t right now.
“Ready?” Trevor holds out both of his hands to help me from the stool. I land and immediately groan as the familiar twinge pulses around my ankle. Clamping my lips around my teeth, I squeeze his fingers and groan out the pain. “Nope, you’re not walking on that. I’m gonna carry you to the truck.” He waits for my nod before picking me up in his arms, grabbing the bag of ice off the chair shortly after. He’s such a good guy.So why don’t I feel anything?
A cool breeze blows through my hair when we get outside, and I realize my shirt is clinging to the sweat on my back. Watching Hunter jump to defend me like thatwasintense.Willa was right.About a lot of things. Just like everything else that’s happened tonight, I have no idea how to feel about it. I’ve seen him get in fights before, but never with that hard-set jaw and focused rage. Never over me…forme.
Chase and Hunter sit on the curb, and upon seeing us, Chase stands and opens the doors of Trevor’s SUV. Hunter’s eyes grow wide when he glances at us over his shoulder, before he turns back to stare at the ground. Trevor sets me down in the front seat and props my leg on the dashboard, laying the ice on my ankle.He’s perfect for me, but I feel nothing? Squeezing my arm, he tosses a smile my way, which only makes it all worse. He and Willa head back inside the bar, and I focus on the melting ice. That shameful feeling grows in my chest, a clear acknowledgment that I’ve been using him clanging loudly inside my head.
“Is your ankle okay?” Hunter asks. I see him watching me out of the corner of my eye, hear the concern in his voice, but the thought of looking at his face right now churns the anxiety in my stomach. I can’t make my head turn in his direction.
“Uh, not really…” I bite my lip, dropping my focus to my lap.Why can’t I look at him? The confusion waging war between my head and heart is so loud, I’m not even sure what my problem is right now.
“Shit, Ash, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you were still behind me.”
“It’s okay… Trevor took care of it.” I lift a finger toward the ice and try to ignore the defeated sigh that slips out of him. Reacting like this to avoid talking to him is wrong. I know it is, especially when he defended me the way I’d expect my boyfriend to in public.But he isn’t.
Annoyance surges in my chest, trampling over my anxiety as I remember the embarrassment of everyone’s eyes on me.We’re not together, technically, and he couldn’t give me the one thing I asked for with this dating bet: keeping it a secret. That bothers me more than my throbbing ankle at the moment, and I’m latching onto it, as wrong as it may be. Channeling my anxiety into petty anger feels a lot safer than addressing the shame I felt earlier, so I let it fester.“He’s taking me back to the hotel.”
“Ash, I can take you.”
“I don’t want you to take me.” With my vulnerability safely tucked into a shoddy little nook, I finally look at him. He holds my gaze for several seconds, then slowly drops his eyes to the ground, stroking his chin with a sullen nod. The unsettling dejection creeping into his shoulders threatens to extinguish the flames growing in my chest.Fight back, damn it.Show me the old you. I know how to fight with Hunter. We’re good at it. Fighting would give me just a little hope that we can go back to how it was. Maybe, if we stop all of this now, we can salvage what’s left of our friendship. But he doesn’t take the bait. He lets me have my way. How am I supposed to handle that?Love changes everything.
