Page 53 of Some Kind of Forever
I nod, no inkling of why she can’t tell this to Kayla herself, and climb back into my car. Done with the waiting game that comes along with texting, I call Ashlie. I drum my fingers on my jeans while the phone rings.
“…Hey, Chase,” she answers, hesitating slightly.
“Hey, is Kayla with you?”
“Uh, hold on.”
This morning might possibly be the most agonizing thing I’ve ever experienced. If I could just find Kayla and figure out what the hell is going on, I could start crafting a plan. The frustration rising in my voice while I try to figure out what’s happening is apparent as I say, “Look, Ashlie, I just want to make sure she’s okay. I don’t know what’s going on, but I’m worried and she’s not answering her phone. Is she with you or not?”
“…Yeah, she’s here.”
Relief floods over me, but the anxiety creeps back in slowly as I contemplate the reason for Kayla’s radio silence. “Can I talk to her?”
“She’s shaking her head no, but I’m going to send you my address anyway. It’s just around the corner from her place.” She hangs up, and after too many seconds, my phone buzzes with the message.
The short drive brings back the long form questions from before. If she doesn’t want to talk to me, I’m positive she doesn’t want to see me either. She’s with her best friend, so she’s clearly okay and just ignoring my messages.
I pull up in front of a two-story house wrapped in graying weathered wood siding, and I wait. If she’s changed her mind and doesn’t want to do this, doesn’t want to be with me for whatever reason, I can try going back to being just friends. I’m head over heels for her, but if that’s what she wants, I’ll do it just to keep her in my life. Several more minutes pass before I convince myself that I just want to make sure she’s okay. I’ll check on her, and then I’ll leave if she wants me to.
I head toward the door, and Ashlie opens it before I reach the porch.
“She’s in my room.” She leads me up the flight of stairs in front of us, my heart thumping with the anticipation of what I’m about to walk into.
“Ashlie, what’s happen—” The bedroom door is open, and there’s Kayla, sitting up in the bed with a blanket wrapped around her shoulders, tears streaming down her cheeks. Her eyesmeet mine, and just as fast, she buries her face in her hands. Fierce sobs break through the space between her fingers. Seeing her like this and not knowing what’s wrong, not knowing how to help, not knowing if she even wants me here is pure torture.
I stand in the doorway, unsure of what my next steps should be. Ashlie nudges me from behind, prompting me to sit next to Kayla on the bed. When I do, her body stiffens beside me, and I look toward Ashlie for a little direction. Nodding, Ashlie motions for me to put my arm around Kayla. When I reach around her shoulder, the rigid stiffness that terrified me seconds ago melts into my touch. She curls into me, making it easier for me to scoop her into both of my arms. I swing her legs across my lap and rub circles on her back, comforting whatever tragedy is brewing inside her world.
“Do you want me to leave?” I whisper the words, hoping with everything I have that she says no.
Shaking her head, she nuzzles into my neck, and I breathe a sigh of relief with the first glimmer of assurance that this isn’t about me. Something is terribly wrong, and seeing her this way breaks my heart. But she wouldn’t be clinging to me right now if she didn’t want me here.
“Okay. You don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want to, but can I talk?”
A nod against my chest prompts me to continue.
“Your mom wanted me to tell you she’s leaving for her next contract at noon today. Do you want me to take you home so you can see her?”
She shakes her head as another sob threatens to rip through her body.
I give her some time to let the fresh current of tears slow before asking, “Do you want me to take you after she leaves?”
A sniffle and a nod, paired with calmer breathing, lets me know that this wave is passing.
“Can I get you anything?”
“Water,” she whispers.
“You got it.”
I kiss her forehead and carefully shift her body back onto the bed. When I get downstairs, I find Ashlie in the kitchen, back against the counter, rubbing her face.
“Kayla wants some water…” I say.
Quietly, she walks to the fridge and hands me a cold bottle before reclaiming her spot against the counter. “I’ve never seen her like this, Chase. I don’t know what’s going on, but she hasn’t slept at all. She showed up last night with a bag and has been inconsolable ever since.”
Looking at her without the lens of panic, I notice the dark bags under her eyes, proof of a night of no sleep for her either.
“She wants me to take her home after her mom leaves at noon.”
