Page 18 of Some Kind of Forever
We’re on day four of training at Camp Bender, and we’ve been stuck inside for the last two because of the rain. There are only so many crafts and mindfulness prompts you can do before going a little stir crazy. And If I see another board game, I might just lose it. Today, though, the sun shines through the windows of the mess hall while I try to fully wake up for the day.
“Looks like we’re getting sun today!” Sami says in a singsong voice, black hair swinging behind her. She bounces on her toes as she walks toward the table, and I have no doubt her energy will be a great fit for the campers next week.
I nod while sipping on my coffee. “I hope so. We’re running out of things to do in here.”
“Hopefully, we can find some dry wood out there for the survival stuff.” She crosses her fingers on both hands. “Hey, Kayla!”
Kayla waves and heads to the food line. Her hair is pulled away from her face, exposing her neck in a way that has my eyes tracing the curve of her shoulder, down her arms, until they land at the dip in her waist, remembering. I had to stay up on that damn wall for an entire minute before I was decent enough to rejoin the group. It’s been days and I still can’t get the feeling ofmy arms wrapped around her out of my head, the scent of vanilla and apples etched in my brain. I realized it was apples that night, after lying in bed stewing over the fragrance for a full thirty minutes.
She comes to the table and, to my disappointment, sits across from me and far enough away that talking to her would be awkward. She did the same thing yesterday, spreading out her craft supplies to take up the space around her, and the day before, spending the entirety of the mindfulness activity alone in a corner. She’s been doing this since our moment in the air, putting distance between us, avoiding being alone for too long. I hate it. Tapping my fingers on my leg mindlessly, I remember the wall all over again. I liked having her close to me, and I’m running out of ideas on how to get closer. She interacts with everyone else, helping when she can and openly laughing and telling jokes, until I join in. When I’m added to the mix, she shuts down and bows out of the conversation. I don’t get discouraged easily, but she’s comfortably sitting behind a solid brick wall with barbed wire circling the top, and I have no footholds to help me breach it.
“Good morning, everyone,” Claire says cheerfully, walking into the mess hall from outside. She carries a backpack over one shoulder and stops at the head of the table. “Good news! We’ll be training on survival skills today. Thanks for being flexible with the weather.” She grabs items from the storage cabinet on the wall and stuffs them in her backpack as she talks. “Meet me out by the firepits in twenty,” she says, bouncing out the door.
We trickle outside and walk down the trail leading to the firepits. Birds chirp with the early morning dew, and the sun rays on my shoulders give me the boost I’ve needed since Monday.
“Hey,” I say, sidling up to Kayla.
She slides a quick glance over to me and back to the ground. “Hey…”
“Come here often?” I tease, trying to get her to smile. She does, finally, and it lights up her face. I think making her smile might be one of my favorite things.
“Only on days that end iny.” She looks my way again, green eyes glinting in the sunlight.
“Any fun plans this weekend?” I ask, hopeful she’ll say no.
“Yep. Working.”
Damn. I think this is becoming our thing. I hint at asking her out, and she shuts me down with work. She’s done it every single time, like it’s the only pastime she has. “I saidfunplans…”
“Workingisfun for me,” she says, mimicking my intonation.
“You don’t take any time off?”
“Nope.”
“Ever?”
She shrugs. “Not really. I need all the help I can get during the summer to pay for SSU. Unless I’m sick or injured, I’m working.”
We reach the clearing where Claire has set up smaller firepits surrounding the large one. “A little bad news,” she says, puffing out her lower lip. “The big firepit was filled with water. I bailed out what I could, but it’s unusable this morning. The good news is, this is a great time to tell you the final partner pairings for camper groups one and two—Sami and Samson, Kayla and Chase, and Kyle, you’re with me. Get with your buddy and pick a pit.”
I turn to say something witty, but Kayla is halfway to the other side of the clearing. The reserved way she acts around me sometimes leaves me confused.Am I saying the wrong things? Am I doing the wrong things? Why won’t she give me the time of day?
I follow behind and stand next to her awkwardly. When she sits, I sit. When she crosses her legs, I cross mine. This is the closest we’ve been in days, and I can’t make my brain form coherent thoughts. The sun shines off the high bun in her hair and down her shoulders as she tips her head back, face up, eyes closed. A smile creeps across her lips, and suddenly, watching her like this is another one of my new favorite things. I enjoyed it before, butthis?This is different. Before, she was a mystery to be solved. Now that I know a tiny bit more, now that I’m around her almost every day, I want to be closer.
She sighs, eyes still closed. “This is nice. Warm. I forget how gloomy it gets when it rains up here.”
Still watching her, I nod in response. I can’t get my eyes to look anywhere else, or force words out of my mouth, so I nod and watch.
Claire interrupts my thoughts by dropping a box at my feet. “Here’s your flint, steel, and dry tinder,” she says in passing. I reach for the box and inspect the contents, just for something else to do other than look at Kayla.
“Wanna have a race?” Kayla asks. Surprised, I snap my head back to see her eyebrow arched over an intense, challenging stare.
“What do I get when I win?” I ask, like I’ve ever made a fire from scratch before. We use lighters in LA, but how hard can it really be? Hit a rock with some steel and make the sparks hit the dry stuff.Easy.And she’s engaging with me for once. Of course I’m going to say yes.
She chuckles at my confidence. “Loser makes s’mores for the winner at the closing firepit tonight…all night.”
“Hope you’re good at making s’mores then,” I tease back. We set up our respective piles of tinder, and on the count of three, we’re off. I’m on my knees, hitting the steel key against the rock furiously with guitar strumming motions, trying to get a spark to land down on the dry leaves. Striking faster and closer to the ground, I grit my teeth in determination. Glancing sideways at Kayla, I see her grinning from ear to ear with her hands on her hips, squatting next to a small flame. I sit back on my haunches and laugh. “Cheater. You do this every summer.”
