Page 13 of Jagger
I’d given Cheyenne a concerned look after Jagger walked into Trent’s office, and she shook her head as some of the club’s ol’ ladies walked up and asked if they could join us. It was nice being included in their conversations, and when I wasn’t sure what they were talking about, they were kind enough to fill in the missing pieces. Even though we were having a great time, I kept glancing at the closed office door, waiting for Jagger to return.
When he came out and walked straight to our table, I exhaled a sigh but could see there was something going on. Something seemed to be weighing down on him. He would laugh at the jokes, interject when appropriate, and to anyone who wasn’t paying attention, it seemed like he was in a good mood.
But I could feel the anger radiating off him, and twice, I looked over and found his gaze was locked on something across the room. He’d snap out of whatever drew his attention and bring his smile back to me, but it didn’t reach his eyes. I slowly sipped on my second drink, not wanting to get drunk. Deep down, I was hoping we could move past the kissing stage of our relationship and wanted to keep my head straight.
Jagger sipped a beer until it was gone, then a bottle of water appeared in front of him. The weed was prevalent throughout the evening, but his outward appearance didn’t seem to change, even after he smoked a few times. I wasn’t sure if that was good or bad. When he offered a joint to me, I held up my hand anddeclined. The only person here who knew why I wasn’t smoking was Cheyenne.
My mother had many addictions, from what Granny said, and growing up, knowing she’d left me so she could continue to party, I wasn’t interested in something that would alter my mind. I wasn’t against weed, and our tribe was open about its use to connect with our pasts, but it wasn’t something I’d ever been interested in doing.
So, that left Jagger and me probably the two most sober people at the bar as Cheyenne and some of the ol’ ladies finished two pitchers of margaritas while Roughstock had a few shots and a lot of weed. Being mostly sober in a bar was strange, and when the loud music became too much for me, I stood from my chair, drawing Jagger’s attention.
“Where are you going?” he asked, and I leaned over to speak into his ear.
“I need some fresh air, but I’ll be right back.”
He went to stand, but I pressed my hand to his shoulder, shaking my head. Uncertainty looked back at me, and I’d swear I could feel his eyes on me as I walked out the front door of the Sin Den. When the door closed behind me, the loud noise from the party muted to a manageable level. Taking a deep breath, I looked up at the stars in the wide-open sky and couldn’t help but smile.
I’d been alone for so long and stupidly fawning over Jagger for months. Now, he was mine and I was his, and I couldn’t have been happier. I still hadn’t told my father since he was at a council meeting with the leaders of the other South Dakota tribes and wouldn’t be home for another two days. Deep down, I knew he would be happy for me, especially after what happened with the guy I had dated after high school, but part of me was worried he wouldn’t approve of Jagger.
He liked Nitro, and he and Roughstock got along great, but I was his only daughter. My three brothers were all married and starting families, but my father always kept me a little closer. When my ex was caught cheating, my father wanted to kick his ass, but I reminded him that a cheater wasn’t worth the trouble.
At twenty-eight, I was past what the tribe considered to be the age to marry, but I wanted to wait for the right person. I didn’t want someone who settled for me, but rather, someone who fought for me. I wanted the great kind of love I’d seen in old movies with Granny, but for too long, I feared it wasn’t a realistic dream. Now, I thought there may be that chance.
But I wasn’t going to start planning the wedding. We’d kissed and held each other throughout the week, but what would happen after we were intimate or had a disagreement? I knew Jagger was closed-off, and after hearing him admit the truth about his father, I was starting to understand why. Only time would tell if we would have forever.
The door opened behind me and Phantom stepped out. I glanced at him as he stepped beside me and handed me a glass. I furled my brows.
“Soda, no alcohol.”
“Thanks,” I returned and took a swallow.
“I didn’t mean to disrupt your peace, but after what happened to Cheyenne, I wanted to keep an eye on you. Just to be safe,” Phantom explained as he pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his cut and lit one, blowing out the grayish smoke. He fanned the air and took a few steps away from me. “Sorry. Old habit that likes to ride my back from time to time.”
“No problem,” I remarked and looked back up at the sky.
“He really likes you. In all the years I’ve known him, I’ve never seen him smile as much as when you’re around.” I snapped my gaze to him, but he looked off into the darkness ashe continued to speak. “And he’s been looking at you for longer than you realize.”
He thumped the ashes to the ground, as I said, “I don’t understand.”
He took another draw off his cigarette and glanced at me. “You’ve been coming to the bar for, what, about three or four years now?” I nodded, and he reasoned, “And for that entire time, I’ve seen him looking at you. Maybe not with the puppy dog eyes he has now, but you’ve had his attention for years.”
“Why . . . why did he wait so long?” I asked, not really expecting an answer.
“He’s a complicated guy who puts too much of the world on his shoulders.” He took another puff, dropped his smoke to the ground, and stepped on it, extinguishing the smoldering end. “When he acts like a dumbass, just . . . don’t give up on him.”
Without another word, he turned and opened the door, flooding my ears with the loud music and my nostrils with the odor of smoke and alcohol freely flowing inside. The door closed behind him, and I was left standing alone again. It was a weird conversation from someone I’d barely spoken to through the years, but I understood what he was saying.
Don’t hurt his friend.
I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go back inside to the loud environment or if I wanted to stay outside in the cool evening. Growing up on the reservation, silence was abundant most of the time, so the bar wasn’t where I hung out for too long. I enjoyed the festivities, but for some reason, tonight, I felt like my skin was tingling.
Rubbing my hands up and down my arms, I realized it was getting colder. Just as I was about to go back inside to grab my jacket, the door opened and out stepped the man I couldn’t stop thinking about. He smiled as he walked up, draped my jacketover my shoulders, and pulled me against him. He was warm, and I snuggled closer as he kissed the top of my head.
I don’t know why, but I loved when he did that. It made me feel protected, special, and dare I say loved?
“Phantom said it was a little too much for you inside.” I lifted my head from his chest, and he smiled down at me as he asked, “Why didn’t you tell me? We could’ve left when you were ready.”
I wrapped my arms around his waist as I returned, “I didn’t want to take you away from the party. I think I’m just worn out from the long week.”
