Page 97 of Hawk
The two of them walked out the back door, and I could see Matthew watching them intently. When the door was closed, I turned to him. “Let’s have a seat, buddy.”
His bookbag slid off his shoulder and he left it on the coffee table as we walked to the dining room table. This was where we had all serious discussions and ate dinner as a family. It was where the important parts of our lives took place, and something told me this was a serious conversation.
His hands were linked together, and he was looking down at them as I took the seat at the head of the table with him to my right. Softly, I touched his forearm, and he lifted his eyes to me. “Tell me what’s bothering you. I can’t make it better if we don’t talk about it.”
“It’s nothing,” he stated, and I shook my head.
“It’s got to be something. Please, Matthew. Talk to me.”
He saw a counselor when Araneta first left, and they explained that Matthew would struggle with opening up. It was a defense mechanism to protect himself from being hurt again, so I had to gently push him to make sure he wasn’t bottling his emotions or worries.
“I thought . . . I think Araneta was watching me on the playground this morning,” he said, and I felt rage pulsing through my veins.
It took everything for me to not yell out in frustration. “Are you sure? Could it have been someone who looked like her maybe?” I asked, hoping he’d made a mistake.
Matthew shrugged as he replied, “Maybe. I saw her hiding under the tree at the corner of the playground, and when I went to tell my teacher, she disappeared. I might be wrong.”
“Do you think you were wrong?” I inquired, keeping my voice even and soothing.
The last thing I wanted him to think was I was mad at him. There was no way I would ever take my anger and frustration regarding her out on the kids, but I needed to make sure what he saw. If she was back and spying on the kids, I had to stop her. They’d suffered enough from her selfishness, and now, they would need a prospect to guard them until I could get her dealt with.
“I don’t think so, but . . .”
“But what? It’s okay for you to say whatever is bothering you. Remember, nothing is too much to talk about.” I repeated his counselor’s words, hoping to calm him.
“What if she’s back to take us away from you?” he asked as tears flooded his eyes.
“She will never take you or your sister away from me. I love you and will always protect you from anyone who thinks they can cause you pain.” His bottom lip trembled, and I asked, “Do you believe I will do whatever it takes to keep you safe and happy?”
He nodded, and I encouraged him to stand. Taking him into my arms, I hugged my son tightly as he cried onto my shoulder.
“Why doesn’t she love us?” he asked as his tears began to slow.
“I don’t know, but I can tell you this.” He stepped back slightly, and I wiped the tears from his cheeks. “I will love you enough for both of us. Whatever her problem is has nothing to do with you or your sister.”
“Grandma Doris said she was born rotten.”
“Grandma Doris is right, but one thing I know for sure, the best part of her is you and Anna, and I’m the lucky bastard who gets to be your dad.”
“I love you, Dad,” Matthew said, and I hugged him again.
“I love you too, son.”
The sound of the back door opening echoed into the dining room, and he wiped his cheeks quickly as Anna bounded back into the room. Stella followed with an unsure look on her face and hesitated when she saw Matthew’s teary eyes.
“Should we go back outside?” Stella asked.
Matthew shook his head. “I was just telling Dad how happy I am that you’re here.”
She approached as Anna danced to some song in her head. Taking a seat, she reached her hands out to Matthew, and he looked at them before placing his into hers.
“I’m happy to be here, but I want you to promise me something.” Matthew looked on before nodding. “If, at any time, you want me to leave, I want you to tell me or your dad. I never want to be the reason you’re upset.”
“I don’t want you to leave, Ms. Stella. I’m glad you’re here. I just get . . . overwhelmed sometimes,” Matthew responded.
“Can I tell you a secret?” Stella asked, and Matthew leaned closer to her as she spoke. “I get overwhelmed sometimes too. That’s why I have Zeus. And if he makes you feel better and less worried, then I want you to let him help you. Can you do that?”
“I like Zeus” was Matthew’s response, and Stella smiled.
