Page 82 of Hawk
“Can I ask you something?” she questioned, and I nodded. “Do you like Hawk?”
“I do, but . . . what if it’s too soon?”
“I know there are things about the past I don’t know, but from what I’ve gathered, Hawk was around when we were . . . separated.” Again, I nodded, and she exhaled before speaking again. “Does being with him bring you happy thoughts, or do you think about the past?”
“He makes me happy,” I responded, and she smiled.
“Mom, I know we have a lot to discuss and there are secrets we both have that need to be shared, but one thing I can tell you is this. Seeing you happy, seeing Hawk happy, makes me happy. As long as you’re happy, that’s all I care about.”
“You don’t . . . feel like I’m abandoning you again?” I whispered, feeling the tears build in my eyes.
“You didn’t abandon me the first time. Someone purposely kept us apart, and now that we’ve found each other, we have all the time in the world. I want you to forgive yourself, even though you’ve done nothing wrong.” She leaned over and whispered, “And Hawk is one of the best men I’ve ever met. Let him be your safe place and trust he will never hurt you.”
She placed a kiss on my cheek, and I smiled, realizing she was right. I’d lived for too many years hiding away from everyone. Colton saved my life, not once but twice, and to have him beside me gave me hope that things were going to get better.
Hailey and I kept talking but moved away from the heavy topics. We had time to discuss the past and tonight wasn’t that time. She and I began to chat about various topics until a few minutes later, Colton returned to the couch. Hailey stood and pecked him on the cheek before she glanced over her shoulder at me, offering me a knowing smile and a wink.
Colton retook his seat next to me, and I leaned my head on his shoulder. He placed a kiss on the top of my head, and I sighed contently at the simple gesture. He sipped on his beer while my margarita sat untouched on the table in front of us as the party raged on. It didn’t seem too wild, and I assumed this wasn’t the norm.
Trying to stifle a yawn, I moved my hand to cover my mouth, and Colton glanced at me.
“Are you ready to call it a night?” he asked.
“We don’t have to go,” I returned, and he smiled at me.
“I, for one, am ready to have some peace and quiet. Let’s get out of here.”
He stood and offered me his hand. I took it, and he helped me rise from the couch. I felt the long day as we walked over to the table where Hailey, Jacob, Needles, and Violet were still visiting.
Hailey looked up at us and smiled as Colton said, “I’m gonna take Stella to get settled. We’ll see you in the morning.”
Hailey stood from her seat and hugged me deeply, and I reluctantly released her. Jacob stood next to her, and he offered me a small hug before Colton took my hand and guided me away from the party.
When we stepped outside, the quiet was nice as a cool breeze blew around us. Hand-in-hand, we walked to the last cabin in the long line, but the closer we got, the more unsure I became. Zeus walked beside me, and when we approached the steps, my nerves grew with anxiety.
“I’m going to ask directly, so there isn’t any confusion, if that’s okay,” Colton stated, and I turned to look at him from the base of the steps. “I want to hold you tonight but won’t come inside if you’re having doubts. I have zero expectations about anything other than making you feel safe and secure.”
I brushed a piece of hair behind my ear and looked up at him. I wasn’t ready for sex, but the thought of falling asleep in his arms was exactly what I needed.
“I’d like that, but . . .”
He leaned over and kissed me softly before whispering against my lips, “No expectations.”
He took my hand into his and guided me up the stairs to the small cabin. After unlocking the door, he gestured for me to enter before him. I walked inside and was pleasantly surprised by the décor. There was a living room in the front that opened to a beautiful kitchen. A single door to the right must’ve been the bedroom and bathroom, but he guided us to the couch.
A large pillow was on the floor next to a bowl of food and water for Zeus. He took a few bites before stepping onto the pillow, turning in a circle three times, then laying down.
Colton and I sat on the couch, and he brushed his hand against my cheek as he said, “I know you’re probably scared and think you have to do or be something specific. All I want . . . all any of us want . . . is for you to be happy. I’m just happy that you’re allowing me to be a small part of it.”
I leaned closer and gently kissed his lips before allowing the kiss to grow slightly in intensity. His tongue stroked mine in a slow dance, and I knew deep down that he was what made me happy.
Now to get my body and my brain on the same page before he found someone who could give him more than I was able to.
He wasn’t mine, but the thought of him with someone else caused jealously to grow deep inside me, and I feared losing him would push me off the cliff I’d been teetering on for a decade.
