Page 54 of Hawk
She sat down and tamped the ashes of her smoke into an overflowing ashtray. Scratching at a sore on her arm, she said, “You’ll need to leave soon. She’s got an appointment coming in a while.”
“Appointment?” I asked, and she smiled up at me with broken, black teeth.
“You remember the guy I made the deal with? He has exclusive rights to her. Hell, for what he pays me, he owns her. I just have to give her a place to live until she’s old enough.”
“Old enough for what?” I asked in a scratchy voice, hoping not to give myself away.
“He bought her.” She chuckled and sat back. “The shit he does to her makes my past look sweet.”
Disgusted, I wanted to slit her throat but feared Hailey would see. She’d lived through enough without having to witness something so messy, but everything she’s endured ends now.
“I got some new stuff. You may need a little extra, but they say it’s worth it,” I explained as I tossed the overstuffed bag of drugs down in front of her.
She smiled and dipped her pinky into the bag before sticking it into her mouth. “Mmm,” she sounded as she lit a candle on the table and poured a large amount onto a burnt spoon.
I never thought I’d see the day Alyona’s prissy ass would sink so low, but I watched as she melted the drugs into a cloudy liquid and pulled it into a syringe. She tied a piece of rubber tubing around her ankle and slipped the needle into a vein between her toes. When she began to depress the plunger, I stepped closer and pulled my hoodie off. When it was almost empty, I removed my hat and stepped next to her.
The tourniquet was still around her ankle, and she seemed irritated as I invaded her space. She turned her eyes up to me, and when she saw me staring down at her, her brown eyes grew wide with fear.
I slapped my hand over her mouth, pushing her against the couch, and whispered to her as I snatched the rubber tubing from around her ankle, allowing the drugs to flow into her bloodstream. “I hope you and your brother burn in hell for all eternity.”
Her mouth opened and closed without a sound as the drugs began to course through her veins, and I watched her nod off. I poured the rest of the heroin into the spoon and duplicated what she’d done. Her mouth was open with drool running down her chin as her head began to droop. Taking the needle, I found a vein on the side of her neck and, without care, pushed the syringe into her skin and rapidly depressed the plunger.
A moment later, she began to foam at the mouth and her body started shaking. I wanted to watch as she took her last breath, but a noise from the closed door behind me had me putting my hat back on and pulling my hoodie over my head. I knew I had to leave, and just as I was closing the front door to make my escape, I caught a glimpse of Hailey exiting the room.
She looked like me when I was her age, but the worn-out look in her blue eyes told me she’d seen the worst of life. It all ended today, as her tormentor was in the final minutes of her life. Quickly, I made my way down the street and into my vehicle, expecting a panicked Hailey to exit the house, only to watch for close to twenty minutes without a glimpse of her.
Then, the front door of the crappy house opened and she slowly walked to the house a few doors down, casually knocking on the door. I watched as an ambulance showed up, and when they left the house without Alyona, I knew I’d succeeded. The police came, so I left before they questioned why I was sitting in the car.
I followed the car that took Hailey away and watched as she was taken to a hospital, and sat for hours until she reappeared and was transported to some kind of a state-run home. For the next couple of years, I watched over her as best as I could while still dealing with people who would kill her just for who her father was. The day she graduated from high school, I stood in the back of the small arena and watched as she was handed her diploma. Tears filled my eyes as she smiled at the person taking a picture of her, and when she retook her seat, I turned and walked away.
I had one more major thing to take care of, and if I stayed any longer, I wouldn’t want to leave her.
I snapped out of the dream when Zeus pushed his head into my lap from his seat. Wiping under my eyes, I removed the traces of tears from my cheeks and smiled, knowing I at least gave her something.
Freedom.
I stopped one more time, and before I pulled back onto the road, I made a call to Colton. The phone rang three times, and I was ready to hang up when I heard his smooth voice fill the Jeep.
“Hey, darlin’. I was starting to get worried that I hadn’t heard from you. How are you? Have you packed?”
“Hey. I’m packed and the Jeep is loaded. I should be there tomorrow around ten or eleven. Where should I go?” I asked, suddenly unsure how everything was going to unfold.
“I’ll take the kids to school at eight-fifteen and meet you here at my place. That way, you can decide how you want the next step to go. We can stay here or we can go to the Death Hounds compound, whatever makes you more comfortable,” he offered, and I thought about it for a moment.
“I think meeting at your place would be best, if that’s okay,” I returned.
“I agree, and we can call Hailey and Jacob when you get here.” He paused and asked, “Are you doing okay?”
“I’m fine, Colton. I know you’re worried about me, but you have too much on your plate to take me and all my issues on. I appreciate everything you’re doing for me and Hailey. I really don’t know how to thank you.”
I felt like I needed to push him away before he realized I wasn’t worth all the effort. He’d seen me in the worst situations imaginable, and he deserved someone who could give him what he needed, not someone broken and damaged. He and his kids deserved better than me.
“Don’t think you can push me away, Stella. I may not know everything, but I do know this. My plate is big enough for my kids, you, Hailey, and both your crazy dogs. You don’t have to do this alone. I’m not going anywhere—not now and not in the future.”
I shook my head, thinking how stubborn he was. At some point, he’d get tired of me and my issues and wish I would go away, so it was easier on both of us if I started the process now.
Being alone was easier than getting my heart broken. Even if he was the first man I’d ever felt love for.
