Page 52 of Hawk
“I just want to know her.” Hailey replied, and I understood.
She and I had many conversations through the months about Stella, and I knew she just wanted the chance to get to know her mother. The only problem was, in order to get to know her, she was going to have to hear some disturbing things, and I feared it may set back her own recovery.
Mother and daughter, both broken by the same demented family but both determined to be whole again. Together.
I just had to ensure Hailey’s paternity never saw the light of day. I feared who or what would crawl out of the woodwork if they knew she was the sole heir to millions of dollars and untold vendettas. Of course, there was only so much we could do if destruction showed up at our doorstep.
Chapter 17
Stella
After texting Coltonback, I looked at Zeus resting on his pillow. He was a great dog and protector, but he could only do so much. I just wanted someone to talk to who understood what it was like to survive. Not specifically what I’d lived through but someone who’d experienced trauma and could give me advice.
Some days, I was my own worst enemy, and other days, I felt like a badass. I’d done things since Colton saved me that would surely damn me to hell, but then I remembered I’d already lived through hell and survived. I wasn’t a victim, and I refused to let anyone treat me as such.
“I guess I need to get everything packed up,” I said to a snoring Zeus, and as I stood from the couch, he woke and lifted his head. “You stay.”
He huffed and laid his head back down on the pillow as I walked past him. I could feel his eyes on me until I turned the corner into my bedroom. Sitting on the bed, I looked around at the sparsely decorated room and sighed heavily. This house was never a home, and it was obvious from the lack of décor.
I refused to feel guilty or let regret weigh me down any more than it already had. For years, I beat myself up, but after speaking with Colton and hearing Hailey’s sweet voice, I vowed to keep my eyes forward and not look back anymore. It didn’t mean the past wouldn’t still rear its ugly head and try to pull me back into a dark nightmare. It meant I wasn’t going to dwell on the past.
At least, I was going to try.
Standing, I walked to the closet and pulled out the two suitcases resting on the floor. It took little time to empty my drawers and closets of the clothes I had. I’d lived a light life, not wanting too much to drag me down or keep me locked in one place. I’d moved five times since Colton left me with my redeemer, always isolating myself.
After packing up my personal effects from the bathroom, I started gathering Zeus’s things from the bedroom. His duffle bag was overflowing with toys, and as I carried it to the living room, his pointed ears perked up. He stood and stretched his back before yawning deeply and walking up to me.
“I’m going to pack your food while you go potty. We need to be on the road before too long.”
He trotted beside me as I walked to the back door and unlocked it. Without prompting, he went outside and did his business while I took a bag from the kitchen drawer and started packing some of the non-perishable food. Anything in the fridge, I’d drop off at the neighbor down the street on my way out of town. Anything that didn’t fit into the Jeep would either go into the trash or be left behind.
I was still unsure if this was the best idea, but it was the only one I had. I needed to be near Hailey, to help keep her safe and to make sure my brother didn’t warp her. I believed Colton when he said Devlin wasn’t like my father, but I also believed there was more to my brother than he let others see.
My oldest brother was on my hit list, but the fucker kept moving and stayed hidden, so I couldn’t handle him. I knew what he did where Hailey was concerned, and in my opinion, he wasn’t any better than our father. He deserved to pay for allowing—hell, he financed—my daughter’s abuse. And so help me, if Devlin tries to shield him from my wrath, he would stand at the end of my gun too.
Zeus came back inside a few minutes later and nudged me with his nose, drawing me back from the angry ledge I found myself on when I thought of what I’d discovered just before saving Hailey from Melody’s sickness.
