Page 12 of Hawk
“I fucking hate you,” I whispered to the picture of her before sliding it into the dresser and closing it away.
Each minute of the drive over to the compound added another layer of guilt. I was leaving the kids to chase a ghost from the past and feared what I would find. After walking to Sadie and Gunner’s house, I hugged each of them and looked them in the eyes.
“I’ll be back in a few days, maybe a week, but no longer. You can call me if you want to talk, and I want you to promise to be good for Gunner and Sadie.”
“Yes, sir,” Matthew answered as he took the bag from Anna and followed Sadie into the house.
Anna kissed me on the cheek before skipping into the house and leaving me alone on the front porch with Gunner. I looked at my President and could see the worry in his eyes. Hell, I was worried too.
“What if I’m wrong about this?” Though, deep down, I knew I was right.
“Then you can say you tried. That’s all Hailey’s asking for.”
The look that passed between us said more than words ever could. “Thanks,” I said simply, and he gave me a nod as I stepped off the porch, leaving my entire world under his protection.
Chapter 4
Hawk
As I pulled away fromthe compound, I waved to Hailey and Hatchet as they stood watching me leave. I could tell she was anxious, and I hoped I’d be able to give her some answers. They may not be the answers she wants, but at this point, not knowing was starting to wear her down. Turning right onto the main road, I gunned the bike, shooting quickly away from everything and everyone in my life.
With each passing minute, I felt myself slipping back into the mindset I’d lived with for too many years. The hardened animal I used to be pushed closer to the surface, and I worried that part of me would remain when I returned. My kids deserved better than that, so I clung to the thought of them, needing their angelic smiles to keep me somewhat grounded in the present.
Driving through downtown, I saw Needles standing outside his tattoo studio, so I pulled over and turned off the engine to my bike. He offered me his hand, and we clasped forearms before he took a step back.
“I heard from Skid that you may have a lead on Hailey’s mother.” He paused before asking, “Why didn’t you say anything sooner?”
Needles was one of the brothers who had a clearer picture of the kind of person I used to be, and not one time had he ever judged me for my past. He was compassionate and kind, even after the hell he’d lived through after his pops, one of the former presidents of the club, passed away when he was a kid. His past was filled with pain and betrayal, so he had some understanding of redemption and second chances.
Clearing my throat, I answered my friend as honestly as I could. “Until this morning, I had no idea about any connection I may or may not have to all this.” He nodded, so I continued. “I don’t even know if I’m right, but I’ve got to at least try. For Hailey and Hatchet’s sake.”
He glanced to his left, looking down Main Street before he turned back to me. Stepping closer, he said, “Whatever you find, just make sure Hawk comes back to us and not the nightmare I met when you plopped your ass into my chair the first time. Matthew and Anna need their dad, not some angry asshole.”
I lifted one cheek in a half-smile before cranking my bike. “I’ll do my best.”
He clapped my back with his heavily inked hand and stepped back as I put the bike in gear and pulled away from the curb. I could see him watching me drive away in the rear-view mirror and I knew he was right. When I first arrived in Portstill with a pregnant Araneta, I was pissed at the world. Looking to add some ink to my vast collection, I’d found his shop and after seven hours in his chair, I had an invite to the next Death Hounds cookout and a friend for life.
