Page 11 of Hawk
The receptionist looked up from her computer and her eyes ran up and down my denim and leather-wrapped body with obvious lust. She stood and smoothed her dress down as she approached the front counter.
“I’ll need your ID and for you to sign the log, please,” she purred, and I rolled my eyes and shook my head at her blatant flirting.
On any other day, I might have considered asking her for coffee, but I had so many thoughts running through my head that I was actually turned off by her advances. She tried to hide her disappointment at my silent rejection as she picked up the phone and requested Matthew and Anna come to the front office.
I walked to the doorway of the office and waited for them to arrive, all the while trying to figure out how I was going to explain showing up out of the blue after almost ten years. The first of my kids to arrive was Anna in her cute little yellow sundress. Her blonde pigtails bounced against her head as she ran up to me, wrapping her tiny arms around my legs.
“Daddy, what are you doing here?” my five-year-old daughter asked as I leaned over and picked her up into my arms.
“Can’t I come visit my beautiful daughter at school?” I inquired, and she smiled, showing the gap in her mouth from her first lost tooth.
“Not unless something’s wrong again,” Matthew replied as he walked up to us, shifting his backpack higher onto his shoulder.
He was in the second grade but was wise beyond his years, and I blamed their mother for that. She wasn’t maternal and treated him like a friend rather than a son for most of his life. He was hardened, and I hated that for him.
Placing my hand onto his back, I guided him out the front of the school with Anna tucked securely in my arms. She was still innocent to the harsh realities of the world, and if it was the last thing I did, I was going to keep her shielded from the pain of life for as long as I could.
After getting the kids situated into the backseat of the car, I cranked the engine to let the air blow as I turned around to talk to them. “Does anyone want ice cream?”
“Ice cream!” Anna yelled as she threw her arms into the air.
Matthew looked at me suspiciously and I turned around in the seat and pulled the car out of the parking space. I felt like he could see right through me and was reading all the bad things I’d done. I never wanted that part of my life to touch them, but my bitch ass ex-wife ruined that for him.
After going through the drive-thru of the ice cream shop on Main Street in Portstill, I headed toward our small house. We lived on the compound until a few months ago. I hadn’t wanted the kids constantly around the drinking and the drugs. After school, they’d do their homework at the clubhouse, then I would take them home for dinner. The girl who babysat them lived next door, and she was a godsend since Araneta bailed on us.
I pulled the car into the driveway and helped get Anna from her booster seat as Matthew walked inside while licking his ice cream cone. Placing Anna on her feet, I watched as she sprinted after her big brother.
They were sitting at the dining room table, enjoying their cold snack, as I walked in and sat down with them. I needed to get them packed and back to Gunner and Sadie so I could get on the road, but I didn’t want to go without explaining.
“I wanted to talk to you guys about something,” I started, and Matthew brought his brown eyes to mine. “You’re going to stay with Gunner and Sadie for a few nights while I take care of some business.”
Anna’s forehead wrinkled and she lowered her ice cream cone as she looked at me. I could see she was upset, and Matthew seemed angrier than before.
“Are . . . are you coming back?” Anna asked, and I felt my heart being ripped open.
“Of course, I’m coming back. There is nothing and no one that could keep me from coming back to you. We’re a team, aren’t we?”
“Mom was a part of the team and she left,” Matthew added, and I could see the uncertainty and vulnerability on his angelic face.
“I promise, I’m not Mom. I’ll never give up on you and I’ll never leave you. I swear on everything I have, I’ll be back in a few days.”
“Do you swear on your cut?” Matthew asked.
“A thousand times over. You two are the most important people in my life and I love you with all that I am. I promise, I’ll be back in a few days.” Quickly, I added, “Skid and Ms. Grace said you could come and visit with them this weekend.”
“Really?” Anna asked as she began to enjoy her ice cream again.
“Yep. They’re excited to have you. You can go swimming in the lake, as long as you wear your water wings,” I said, and that alone seemed to appease them.
They both loved Grace and were always happy to go to their cabin to swim. The club had a few low-key cookouts there over the last few months, and Anna, Matthew, and Jackal and Rose’s little girl, Iris, always had the best time.
“I need for you to get some clothes together while I pack a small bag. Can you be ready to leave in half an hour?”
They both stood as Matthew answered, “I’ll make sure she doesn’t pack just toys.”
They went to walk out of the small dining room, and I opened my arms, silently asking for a hug. Both kids wrapped themselves around me and I hugged them with everything I had in me. I never wanted them to feel abandoned or alone, and I vowed that when I returned, I’d never leave them again.
Matthew, true to his word, helped Anna pack for the few days while I shoved some jeans, shirts and underwear into a duffle. Quickly, I slipped my gun into the bag and glanced to the side, seeing a picture of the kids with me and the ex sitting on the dresser. I wouldn’t hide all her pictures, but I didn’t need to see her hateful face looking back at me just before I had to leave the kids for the first time.
