Page 55 of Skid
Eddie always told me that one day, I would be able to tell the person I loved and who loved me in return, the truth of what happened. He said the person meant to be mine would never judge me for my past and would help me to navigate the uncertainty in my mind untilThe Communitywas a distant memory.
Just thinking those two words made me anxious, and I tried to focus on exactly what it was that had me scared.
“Everything, I think. What if I can never tell him about what happened? What if I’m creating something with him that’s not real? What if he finds out and looks at me with disgust?”
“Grace, you can ask a thousand what-if questions and never be satisfied with the answers. What you have to ask yourself is this? Does Dalton show you love? Not with words, but actions? Does he think of your needs first, does he treat you like a partner and not a piece of property?”
“Yes,” I whispered and wiped an errant tear that fell down my cheek. “He does all of that and more.”
“Then you have to find a way to trust him. You have to talk to him and tell him something real about your past. However small, tell him and see his reaction. If he handles it without interrogating you or pushing you away, then you trust him with a little more. Eventually, you’ll have told him everything and it won’t seem so bad.”
“How do you know that? How do you know he won’t hear the truth and tell me to leave?”
“I don’t know much in this world, Grace, but I know this. That man loves you. He told me so before you left, and I saw the sincerity in his eyes. He’s a good man, Grace. Even if he is an outlaw, he’s an honorable and decent man that is lucky to have such an amazingly strong and resilient woman by his side.”
I was crying at Eddie’s words, and I resigned myself that tomorrow night, I would share something with Dalton. A truth about me that will tell me if he’s in it for the long haul like he professed, or if he was just looking for something perfect that I can’t live up to.
“Thanks, Eddie,” I spoke through tears, and he chuckled.
“Anytime, darlin’. No matter what, I’m always here for you. Love you, kiddo,” he replied.
“Love you too.”
I hung up the phone and turned my gaze back to the lake as the final minutes of daylight pushed into the horizon, blanketing the sky into darkness. As the light faded, the familiar feeling of regret filled me. The lights programmed to turn on flickered to life, illuminating the deck in a soft glow, and I wrapped my arms around myself, pushing away the memories that were spinning faster and faster in my brain.
“Happy birthday, Grace,” Kelly cheered as she pulled me into a hug.
“Thank you. Come on in,” I urged.
I was happy my best friend could spend the night for my birthday and couldn’t wait to have girl talk. Technically, my birthday was last week, but it was special to have her here, just the same.
Kelly and I ended up at different high schools due to our desired career paths, and we only got to see each other on occasion now. We still talked and sent messages every day, but this was the first time in weeks I’d seen her. Connie was out of town, and Daddy agreed to let Kelly sleep over as long as I cleaned up any mess before Connie got home on Sunday.
“Where’s the wicked witch?” Kelly whispered, and I chuckled as we walked to my bedroom.
The two younger kids who came into the house last month shared a room closer to Connie and Daddy’s room. Connie was taking them to Memphis for their monthly visitation weekend with their parents. She got to stay in a hotel, and I got the weekend away from her judgment. I was surprised last year when they gave me the back bedroom, offering me some privacy and personal space.
“She’s in Memphis with the two new fosters for monthly visitation. She’ll be back with them on Sunday evening,” I replied as we walked into my bedroom, and she tossed her overnight bag onto the bed.
Flopping down on our backs, we started catching up on school and the boys we liked, giggling about typical teenage crap. The sound of the front door opening let me know Daddy was home. He’d been a little distant with me over the last month or so, and last week, I heard him on the phone talking about a new girl he wanted to bring into The Community.
Aubrey.
I was hurt he was looking past me to another daughter, but I knew my time to marry was drawing closer. We went to a Community gathering last week, and I was shown a picture of the man Daddy picked for me to marry. He was the stepson to a member of The Community, and from first glance, I thought he was cute. I didn’t want to marry someone I’d never met, but Daddy reminded me it was his choice, and he knew what was best.
“I ordered you girls some pizza for dinner, and I’m going to be in my room working on some things if you need me tonight,” Daddy explained from the open door, and I rolled over to look at him.
“Thanks, Kevin,” I replied, and he gave me a subtle nod. I stood from the bed and looked at Kelly. “I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
She knew how strict the Ringmans were, so she rolled her eyes and picked up her phone, getting lost in Candy Crush while I followed Daddy to his room. He pushed the door open as I walked inside and turned to face him.
“Have you been a good girl, Grace?” he asked, cupping my cheek with his hand.
“Yes, Daddy,” I whispered, and he smiled down at me.
“That’s good, Grace. I need for you to take care of something before dinner. Can you do that for your daddy?”
I glanced over his shoulder, knowing Kelly was on the other side of the house and engrossed in her phone. Worried she would see and make Daddy angry, I asked, “Can I take care of it in the morning before Kelly wakes up?”
