Page 44 of Gunner
I tried to call him a few times, but his phone went straight to voicemail every time. When I asked Kade, he passed it off as Dalton dealing with the pain of losing Uncle Mick, but there was something about the look in Kade’s eyes that told me there was something more to the story. I had no energy to decipher the truth while dealing with the pain that was splitting me apart, so I focused on Jacob.
As the minister for the MC’s Charlotte chapter spoke of my uncle and his legacy with the Death Hounds, I let the tears flow freely down my face. Kade pulled me closer to him, and I leaned against his arm, the warmth of his leather jacket breaking through the cold. The words were hollow and held no meaning, but I nodded when everyone else did and lowered my head when instructed, though all I wanted to do was crawl into bed and pull the covers over my head.
Uncle Mick was my rock throughout my life, and I felt like I was adrift on the sea, battling rogue waves and huge swells on my own. I knew I had Kade, but somehow, I still felt alone. Ann came by the house yesterday to check on me and she reminded me that everyone grieves differently, and that I wasn’t alone anymore. Not only Kade, but also Dalton and the rest of the club were there to support Jacob and me.
The service ended and we walked outside the small funeral home with the MC carrying Mick’s ashes for his final ride. It’s tradition for the club to take the ashes on a final ride, ending at the clubhouse, where Uncle Mick wanted his ashes spread. I climbed onto the back of Kade’s bike and looked over to see Dalton strapping a helmet to Jacob and making sure he was secured on the back of his bike.
My brother’s hard gaze met mine and he smiled sadly before cranking his bike along with the rest of the club. I wanted to pull him into a hug, but his mood wasn’t inviting, and I had to remember he was a grown man now. When he was ready to talk, he would find me.
Kade rested his hand on my knee and gave it a gentle squeeze before he took his position in line behind Smokey and Bullet. Dalton pulled beside us, and I looked back to see a long double line of riders ready to give my uncle his last ride. Mick’s ashes were strapped to the front of Smokey’s bike, and he placed his hand on the tank briefly before raising it into the air with a closed fist.
The sound of engines drowned out my sorrow as, one by one, we pulled out onto the road. There were police at the intersections stopping traffic as the Death Hounds rode through Portstill, showing respect for a fallen member. Some of the local people stood outside their businesses with their heads lowered as we passed, and I felt a tear slide across my cheek and get tossed into the breeze.
I smiled at the admiration for my uncle, and as we drove the road to the clubhouse, I tilted my head back and let the sun shine down on my face. Uncle Mick wouldn’t want me to wallow in misery, so I let the tears fall unchecked until we pulled into the compound. As Kade backed his bike against the clubhouse with everyone else, I wiped my face, feeling lighter.
Kade stepped off the bike and turned his attention to me. He brushed his hand across my damp cheek and asked, “Still hanging in?”
“I’m hanging strong,” I replied, and he kissed me softly.
Jacob ran up to us as I was climbing off the bike and tugged on my sleeve. I turned to him as he asked, “Can I go play with Rocky and Jasmine?”
“Stay where I can see you, okay?”
He nodded quickly and turned on his heels, running to Hatchet’s kids. There weren’t many kids in the MC, and Rocky was close in age to Jacob. Jasmine was a few years younger but followed her big brother around like he held the secrets to the universe. Happy to see Jacob in a better frame of mind, I looked up at Kade, who was watching me closely.
“He’ll be fine. There are plenty of brothers to watch them, and the rowdy crowd won’t get started until after the food is served. Smokey’s orders.”
I worried about Jacob being around drinking, drugs, or the club sluts that I knew would show up later to help the brothers with their grief. I knew it was a reason to party and I hoped Kade could stay sober during it all. He’d had a drink from time to time, but always stopped at one, and as long as he didn’t lose control, I wouldn’t complain.
We walked into the clubhouse to see they had set up two long tables running the length of the room, and the old ladies were carrying food from the kitchen and placing it along the length of a third long table set off to the side wall. The doorway leading to church, the club’s private meeting room, was closed with a prospect standing in front of it, his arms crossed and his gaze meeting anyone who got close.
“I need to find Skid, darlin’. Why don’t you see if Piper needs any help, and I’ll find you in a while,” Kade whispered, and I nodded up at him.
He turned away from me, and as he moved through the room, I lost him in the crowd of brothers starting to gather. Lilly walked up behind me and placed her hand on my back.
“Let me get you something to drink.”
“What can I help with?” I asked, needing something to keep me busy.
“We’ve got it handled, and one of the prospects is picking up cupcakes from your bakery.”
“I wish you would have told me. I could have baked them and saved y’all some money.”
“Nonsense,” she exclaimed as she led me into the busy kitchen and sat me down at the long counter. “You have enough on your plate without worrying about baking for a bunch of hungry bikers. How’s Jacob holding up?”
“He’s coming around. Kids rebound faster than we do, so I think he’ll be okay,” I reasoned, picking a grape from the large plate of fruit and popping one into my mouth. “It’s Dalton I’m worried about.”
Piper walked up to us and leaned in, whispering softly so the other old ladies and groupies didn’t hear. “These guys are tough, but inside, they’re scared little boys needing guidance. He’ll find his way back when he’s ready. Until then . . .” She shrugged, leaving the sentence unfinished.
Food came in and was quickly carried into the dining room while I sat there, watching and feeling useless. I stood with a glass of sweet tea in my hand and told Piper, “I’m going to check on Jacob.”
She nodded as she handed another plate to one of the ladies, and I slipped out of the kitchen and walked out the side door to the clubhouse. Gravel crunched under my feet along this side of the building, and as I got closer to the paved parking lot at the front of the building, I could hear loud voices coming from the tree line to my left. I wanted to investigate, but whatever it was, wasn’t my business, so I hurried my steps.
Jacob and Rocky were playing under the picnic pavilion with some kind of action figures, and Jasmine was nearby, coloring on a page. I walked to the edge of the pavilion and sat down, smiling as my little brother happily lost himself in the make-believe world of his toys. I wanted him to always be this innocent, this untarnished, but I knew the world was an ugly place that would steal the luster from your soul.
Sipping my tea, I left the kids undisturbed and turned my attention to the parking lot full of bikes, brothers, and groupies. They were setting the bonfire up to light when the sun went down, and so far, no one appeared to be drunk. When it started to turn in that direction, I would take Jacob to Kade’s cabin, so we could enjoy the evening away from the raucous party I knew would happen. I didn’t want to be away from Kade, but he was needed here, so we would disappear when necessary.
A loud bell sounded, letting everyone know the food was ready, and I followed Jacob, Rocky, and Jasmine into the clubhouse. Kade and Dalton were standing near the back wall, both with an angry scowl on their faces and their arms crossed over their chests. Kade caught my gaze and smiled tightly as I helped the kids make their plates. After getting them settled in the kitchen to eat, I stepped back into line and put a small sampling of the enormous spread on a plate.
