Page 38 of Ensnared By Silence
The heat from the oven felt good on my chilly skin as I pushed the two trays of homemade yeast rolls into the oven. My phone chimed from my back pocket and I eagerly pulled it out, hoping Hayden replied.
Hayden: Me too. I miss you.
Me: I miss you too.
I smiled and put my phone away as a freshly changed DJ toddled into the room. I scooped him into my arms, and he giggled, making my heart lighter as laughter sounded into the air. We sat down to eat, and Chuck stood at the end of the table. Everyone grew quiet as he spoke.
“Devlin asked if I would give the blessing this year, so here goes nothing.” He cleared his throat and spoke with a clear elegance that had Elise smiling. Her love for her adoptive parents was deeper than some biological bonds. “None of us are deeply religious people, so I’d like to say this. Family is never about the blood that pumps through your veins. It’s about the love that fills your heart, and looking around, I see so much love in the room. May we be forever thankful for the love we all share and may we fill our days with joy.”
“Well said,” Devlin responded, and I discreetly wiped a tear from my eye as we passed the dishes around the table.
With an overfull plate, I dug into the delicious turkey and dressing with a satisfied moan. Mathias and I had gone out the last two years for Thanksgiving, so to be sitting around a table filled with friends, no, not friends,family,was like a dream come true. There were funny stories from the past that were shared, and when it was time to take the family picture, I tried to stand off to the side, unsure of what to do.
Elise grabbed me by the wrist with a smile and said, “The entire family.”
I bit my lip and stood between Elise’s family and Amaya’s family with Mathias and Bobby standing behind me. I was sad Hayden couldn’t be here but understood his need to settle things with his mother. I wished I could settle things with mine, but from what my father said on my tenth birthday, she was dead. I secretly wondered what my DNA results showed but was terrified all that would be revealed was I was truly alone.
We watched TV on the biggest flat screen I had ever seen, and soon, I drifted off to sleep. A pair of tiny hands startled me awake, and I jolted up from my position in the chair to find DJ trying to pull himself into my lap.
“Hey, big guy. You want to sit with me?” I asked and offered him my hands.
My gaze caught Devlin’s, and he smiled before turning back to the game playing. DJ grunted, and I lifted him onto my lap. He leaned back against my chest and held my hands as he watched TV. I looked at Elise and she laughed.
“He’s a cuddle bug.”
“I like it.” I smiled back and ruffled his hair. “Sorry I fell asleep.”
Amaya laughed and nodded over my shoulder. Craning my neck, I saw Bobby and Mathias sharing the loveseat, knocked out and snoring lightly as James held a sleeping Elizabeth in his arms. He looked both peaceful and ready to attack at the same moment.
Not feeling quite so bad, I let DJ lie on me as he watched the game playing in the background.
Elise and Amaya sat near me, and we spoke softly.
“I’m sorry Hayden couldn’t make it today,” Elise remarked, and I smiled sadly.
“His mother has been pushy lately, and we wanted to get her off his back.” They were both friends of Hayden and were somewhat aware of his tumultuous family life.
“If you don’t mind me asking, why didn’t he invite you to go with him?” Amaya asked.
I chewed on my lip, and DJ squirmed in my lap. I sat him down, and he clapped his hands as he toddled across the room and squealed, “Dada.”
Devlin looked at his son, and a rare smile broke out on his handsome face. His eyes were alight as he lifted DJ onto his lap and kissed him on the cheek. DJ was a mini-Devlin with dark black hair and bright blue eyes. I looked at Elise and fanned myself, causing the three of us to giggle. He winked at his wife and she gave him a secret smile before turning back to me.
“I offered to go with him, but he’s already so stressed about going and he didn’t want them to turn their venom on me. His word, not mine.” I shrugged, and they nodded in understanding.
“Well, I’m glad you were here today. Maybe next week we can get together and gather all the stuff for our booth at the winter carnival,” Amaya suggested, and she hugged me from the side.
After making plans and taking a tray of leftovers Elise insisted everyone take, I drove my new used car back home. It was so quiet when I walked in, and after making sure all the locks were engaged, I put the leftovers away and changed into a pair of soft sleeping pants and one of Hayden’s t-shirts. After pulling on a pair of fuzzy socks, I settled onto the couch with a glass of wine and my Kindle.
Soft classical music was playing in the background as I got lost in my newest book boyfriend. He was a typical alpha asshole, and as I read a particularly dirty scene, I thought of Hayden. Imagining him dominating me like my book boyfriend, I squirmed on my couch as my pussy clenched in need. My past should push me into tamer sex, and in the past it did, but with Hayden, I could open myself up, embracing my darkest desires and fantasies with peace of mind.
Shaking the lust from my brain, I walked into the kitchen and rolled myself a joint. Opening the back door, a sudden gust of cold air blasted me and I grabbed a coat and took a seat on the back deck. Lights along the fence and the paths illuminated the yard, and the pool glowed a soft blue as the water shifted from the growing wind.
I inhaled deeply, the sweet stinky smoke filling my lungs. I blew the smoke out and debated calling Hayden. He still hadn’t let me know he was on his way home, and all kinds of negative thoughts bombarded me as I sat alone on my back deck in the dark.
Thoughts of Hayden finding someone deserving of him.
Thoughts of Hayden with a high-class woman on his arm, showing her off to his family.
