I clenched my hand against the side of her leg as I softly stroked the scar she spoke of with the other.
Did her father touch her?
Was her reaction because of him?
How do you punish a dead man?
“Where did you go after that?” I asked, almost afraid of the answer but willing to absorb all her pain if it meant she could have peace.
I would take her fear, her disgust, her pain, and use it to destroy anyone who tried to hurt her ever again.
“The state put me into the foster system and I found a great home right away. They took in dozens of kids through the years, and I was fortunate to have them in my life.”
I smiled at her happy memory and asked, “Do you keep in touch with them?”
“We email a few times a month, but they’re really busy with the next kids who need them.”
“How did you end up in Pierce Bluff?” I inquired, and she froze next to me.
Her eyes were wide, and I noticed her breathing increase. I placed a hand on her legs and whispered, “Breathe. In slowly through your nose. Out, slowly, through your mouth. Perfect. In. Out.”
I breathed with her as she regained her control, and her eyes cast down in shame. I needed to reassure her, so I spoke quietly, “I have panic attacks from time to time. For no reason, out of the blue, I fight to catch a breath, my heart races, and my body feels hot, yet I’m shivering. I get scared and have to put my back to a wall until I’m back to normal. The breathing exercises help me get back quicker.”
I didn’t want to go into the fists that my father liked to throw when he had too much to drink. Losing him at fifteen freed me from the confines of my family’s money, but I still struggled with my internal monsters that took up residency in my brain. No matter what, I couldn’t scrub them away, so I locked them behind steel walls and concrete coverings.
Seeing Aubrey’s pain etched across her face had the monster pushing closer to the surface. I learned to control my anger over the years, but growing up, I fought more than a few fights, learning to absorb the pain and how to dish it back out.
Aubrey sat up and drank the rest of her lemonade, small drops running down her chin as she finished the glass. Wiping her mouth, she glanced up at the sky and whispered the words no man ever wants to hear from the woman he was quickly falling in love with.
“I was drugged and gang raped the night I ran away from my former life.”
I slammed my eyes closed as violent visions flashed in front of my eyes. Aubrey had tears falling down her beautiful face and I wanted to pull her into my lap and hold her tight but was afraid to upset her with unwanted touching. She reached out and linked her hand with mine and I tugged, pulling her into my lap and wrapping my arms around her as she sobbed against my chest. My own tears fell, wetting the top of her head, and it was then I realized what the deep sadness was that I saw in her eyes the first night she came into the tavern for dinner.
It faded some through the years as I observed her from afar, but it was always there, lingering.
“Did you tell the police?” I asked as her cries grew quiet.
She shook her head and her broken words sliced me to the bone. “They have money and I’m just a piece of trash from the Flats. No one would believe me, so I ran.”
“You are not trash and you deserve justice.” My voice took on a hard edge, angry that she thought that way about herself. She worked hard to create a life for herself and those bastards broke a part of her. “Have you ever told anyone who it was?”
She violently shook her head as she spoke, “Like I told Mathias this morning, people like me don’t get justice. Not against someone like them.” Her eyes fell to her lap and then across the lake to the lavish Pierce family compound.
“Push that thought out of your head. You belong here and deserve to be heard as much as someone with millions in their accounts.”
She pushed back and looked sadly at me as she reasoned, “Do you remember the girl who was raped behind the dumpster and there were witnesses?” I nodded, remembering the news story and the bullshit verdict. “That guy got six months and was out in three. She got violated again by the criminal justice system, and I refuse to let them drag me through the mud, just to walk away.”
I could see her reason, and a plan formed in my mind.
Now to get Aubrey to tell me who the fuck it was who violated her, so I can kill them myself.