Page 18 of Ensnared By Silence
“Do you think he would be less attracted to you if he knew?”
I shrugged and looked over my shoulder at him as I sat on the couch. “How do I explain that I have no problem being intimate with someone, but I don’t like being touched? That random touches make me feel dirty and used? How would you suggest I go about telling someone I met last night all about my rape?”
My voice broke, and the tears flooded my eyes as Mathias set his coffee onto the small table and took my hands in his.
“You don’t have to tell him anything more than what you feel comfortable with, honey. But you need to go to the police and tell them. Those fuckers deserve to pay for what they did to you.”
“There isn’t justice for people like me,” I accused and glanced down at my lap.
“If you could get justice, real justice, would you?” he asked, and I debated the answer.
Does a person deserve justice twice in one lifetime?
“If I could make them pay without anyone knowing? Absolutely. They deserve to suffer for what they did to me. If that makes me a hypocrite, so be it.”
A smile I didn’t recognize pushed at Mathias’s face, and I questioned my response. A chime from his pocket broke his strange reaction, and he pulled his phone out to check his messages. Typing a response, he placed his phone back into his pocket and turned to me.
“Let’s go to the lake today. We can stop by the store and grab some picnic stuff and just hang out by the water. How’s that sound?”
My stomach grumbled at the mention of food, and I nodded before standing from the couch. Mathias swatted me on the ass as I walked into my bedroom to change and the normalcy of the interaction caused me to snicker. Taking off Hayden’s clothes, I brought them to my nose and inhaled deeply. They smelled faintly of him, and I placed them on my pillow before pulling on a pair of soft yoga pants and a fitted t-shirt.
Mathias kept clothes here on the rare occasions we went out, and he already changed into his shorts and t-shirt. He tipped his imaginary hat, and I linked my arm through his as we walked outside. The embarrassment over Hayden seeing my freak-out was lessening with each passing minute, and I tried to shake off the heavy feeling that something was coming.
Something that was going to change my life. I didn’t know if it was good or bad—I just knew deep down it was inevitable and incoming.
My car was parked in my usual spot and I drove through Pierce Bluff headed to the grocery store downtown. They had a small deli, and after placing an order for more food than seemed necessary, we parked at Piece Lake in the public parking lot. I helped Mathias carry the small mountain of food to the picnic pavilion near the water, and he unpacked the bags.
“I know you’ve probably got the munchies, but isn’t this too much food for just us?” I asked, looking at half the table filled with sandwiches, fried chicken, potato salad, drinks, salads, and desserts.
“Who said it was just us?” he asked and smiled over the top of my head.
I spun to find Skid and Hayden walking down the trail toward us. They filled the path with their wide shoulders, and Hayden’s swagger as he approached was more relaxed than when I left a few hours ago. His honey brown eyes twinkled, and I smiled as he approached us.
He walked straight up to me and grasped my cheeks before pulling me into a bruising kiss. I gasped, and he pressed his tongue into my mouth, massaging mine in a frenzy. I gripped onto his t-shirt and pulled him closer to me with urgency. Chuckles rang out behind me and I felt the blush creep up my face. Turning, I went to step away when Hayden tucked me under his arm and guided me away from the pavilion.
“We’ll be right back,” he said over his shoulder with a middle finger in the air.
“Public nudity is a crime,” Skid advised, laughing, and I covered my eyes as Hayden guided me behind a large tree.
He pressed me against the tree and leaned down, pecking me softly on the lips as he stroked my cheek. I leaned into his embrace and he whispered, “Are you okay?”
I tucked a lock of hair behind my ear and my eyes moved to my feet out of guilt and shame. He lifted my chin, and when I reluctantly looked into his eyes, I found understanding and compassion staring back.
He patiently waited, and I exhaled before replying, “I’m okay.” I could see a few thick scratches on his arms and I felt sick that I did that to him. “I’m sorry.”
He glanced down and saw the faded red lines crisscrossing his forearms. Chuckling, he explained, “Darlin’, you should see the marks on my back from last night.”
My eyes grew wide and I pinched my lips together to stop the smile pushing past. He kissed me until I was panting for breath before he placed his forehead against mine.
“Are you joining us or what?” Skid hollered, and I chuckled as Hayden winked at me.
Adjusting his hard length through his pants, he took my hand and led me back to the pavilion. As we approached, two beautiful women began walking down the path from the front of the park and I turned to see Hayden’s expression guarded.
I stopped him with a tug of my hand and he looked at me with a smile.
“Who are they?”
They were beautiful, and I felt underdressed and underrated compared to them.
