Page 17 of Ensnared By Silence
Chapter 6
Aubrey
Irested my head againstMathias’s shoulder as Skid drove me home. I expected they would drop me off, but Mathias helped me inside and insisted on staying while Skid ‘went to handle some business’, promising to return later in the afternoon. I didn’t want Mathias to miss work and tried to get him to leave me alone so I could cry in privacy.
“You can go if you need to get ready for work,” I uttered as I padded across the small living room and into my bathroom.
He followed and leaned against the doorway with his arms crossed over his chest, watching me as I scrubbed the remaining makeup from my tear-stained face. I didn’t want to be alone, but I hated being a nuisance to anyone. My father always told me how needy I was, and I worked hard my entire life to not depend on anyone for anything.
He snorted, and I looked up from the sink to see him shaking his head. “I’m not going anywhere until I know you’re okay.”
I walked past him, brushing against his arm as I replied, “I’m fine.”
“Bullshit. You’re so far away from fine, you can’t even see it.”
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” I asked, spinning around to confront him.
The anger from the dream was building, and I was pissed that the hardships of my life were still affecting me daily. I knew what triggered the nightmare, and as hard as I tried, I couldn’t shake the feeling of hands on me and me being unable to stop what was happening. Waking up with Hayden’s arms around me drug me back to the pool house and I felt helpless as the memories bombarded me.
I sighed heavily and started a pot of coffee as Mathias watched me. I would have to explain it to him, but I needed caffeine to do it. Fear of falling asleep and back into the dream kept me on edge. I stood watching the pot fill with the dark liquid and I felt the painful tendrils of my past wrapping around my soul like a thick fog.
Images of the shed flashed in my eyes and I felt a hand on my shoulder. Swinging around with my hands clasped, ready to swing, I watched Mathias step back and raise his hands in surrender. I raked my fingers through my hair and yelled, “Fuck!”
My hands clenched, and I brushed past him as I heard him pouring coffee for us. He met me in the living room and handed me a cup as I stared out of the single window and watched some birds splash in the birdbath.
“It was what happened on graduation night, wasn’t it?” he asked as he stood with me and observed the little winged creatures frolic in the water.
“Yeah,” I replied and took a sip of the creamy coffee. “I think him snuggling with me is what triggered it. How fucked up is that?”
Admitting that to my best friend was like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. Mathias wouldn’t judge me, but I was afraid I ruined everything with Hayden. Whatever it was we had, I’m sure, was gone.
“You should tell him. Not specifics but enough for him to understand what happened.”
I turned to him, confused and slightly angry that he would suggest pulling my skeletons out of the closet. “Why the hell would I do that? Tonight was a booty call. Nothing more.”
“You are so full of shit.” He laughed, and I wanted to strangle him as he grasped my hand and tugged me down to the couch. “Skid told me Hayden noticed you three years ago but didn’t make a move, afraid you weren’t receptive. He might not be your ‘forever’, but he’s a nice guy who likes you, a lot.”
It stunned me silent as Mathias bared Hayden’s truth.
“He noticed me three years ago?” I asked, my eyes wide as he nodded with a smile.
“And apparently, he’s been pining away for you the whole time.”
I snorted, knowing this was a joke. “He had a girlfriend until a few months ago. That doesn’t sound like pining to me.”
“Neither one of you would have made a move if I hadn’t pushed him to you.” Shaking his head, he pushed forward. “I know there are things you haven’t told me about your childhood, and I’m not asking for you to tell me or anyone the gory details, but you have to trust someone at some point. You can’t continue to carry all that around, allowing it to keep you locked in the past instead of fighting for a new future.”
I felt the tears threatening to fall, and I blew a breath out, blinking fast until they subsided. I sat down on the old couch and reached underneath, pulling out a small metal tin. Mathias watched from his position in front of the window as I rolled a small joint from the tin. I didn’t smoke much, but this was one of those times I needed my brain to be numb.
I finished my cup of coffee and returned to the kitchen to refill my cup. Opening the window over the sink, I pulled myself up on the counter and lit the joint, inhaling deeply and blowing the mind-altering smoke through the screen. I leaned back and sipped my coffee as he walked up, snapped his fingers at me, and pinched two fingers together.
“Want some?” I asked with a smirk before I took another hit and passed it to him.
Coughing out the thick smoke, I tried to take a drink to stop the burning in my throat. My eyes watered and Mathias laughed as he handed the small joint back to me and blew the smoke through the window. I took another hit and offered it again. He shook his head, so I put it out on the small plate under my aloe plant.
“I’ve never told anyone the entire story, and I doubt Hayden wants to take on all the baggage.” I hopped down from the counter.
