Page 51 of Encircled in Darkness
“I’ll cover myself.” Trying to step around him, James wrapped his arms around my waist and held me tightly to him.
He looked up at me, his face resting against my stomach as he whispered. “I want your naked perfection pressed against me all night, but I don’t want you to feel like I’m pressuring you. You dealt with a lot of harsh truths today.”
“Right now, I just want us to be us.”
He nuzzled against me and I ran my hands through his hair. James slowly ran his arms around my waist, and he toyed with the sash holding the robe together. I licked my lips and nodded down at him. Slowly, he untied the cotton belt, ran his hands up my legs, and parted the robe. He inhaled deeply and stood from the floor.
I could feel his thick length pressing against my naked stomach as his hands ran up my chest, lightly brushing his hands over my pebbled nipples. Touching my shoulders, he swept the robe off me, letting it fall to a pile at my feet. His eyes remained locked with mine as he caressed my cheek and smiled.
Placing my hands on his chest, I leaned up and kissed him softly. He pulled the covers back and helped guide me to the bed so I could lie down. Removing his clothes, he left his boxers on and climbed in behind me. Strong arms wrapped around me and he draped his leg over mine. He surrounded me as the exhaustion dragged me into sleep.
I could feel her chasing me, her footsteps gaining on me as I ran as fast as my feet could carry me. The tall weeds were slapping against my legs, creating little burning cuts on my skin. Better that than letting her catch me.
“I’m going to get you, you little bitch!” she shouted and I ducked into the open door, closing it behind me and pressing my back against it as I heard her run past, yelling and cursing at me.
My heart was pounding, and I glanced around, seeing the shitty trailer covered with empty liquor bottles and cigarette butts. Looking around for my sister, I saw I was alone, and fear overtook me. I was rocking on the floor, trying to keep my sobs behind pressed lips so she wouldn’t find me. A fat cockroach crawled across my hand and I jumped up from the floor, brushing the nasty bugs off my clothes.
Slowly, I opened the door and didn’t see her outside. With careful footsteps, I dashed out the front door, finding Natalia sitting at the picnic table. I sprinted to her, my eyes glancing around for our crazy mother. Throwing my arms around her, I felt her pull me into a deep hug, softly stroking her hand down my hair. Pulling back, she smiled at me and wiped the tears that were flowing down my face.
“What are we doing back here, Amaya? We left this place behind a long time ago.” I shrugged my shoulders and she took my hand in hers. “You have to look forward and stop running from the past.”
I looked back to the rundown mobile home we grew up in and back to her. “I don’t know how, Natty. I’m... I’m all alone.”
“You’ll never be alone again. James loves you and I can see how much you love him. Let this go for your own good.” Natalia brushed her hand across my cheek. “Let me go.”
“How do I do that?”
“Trust your heart.”
Remembering my promise to her, I looked into my sister’s eyes and smiled. Nodding, I took her hand into mine and stood from the table. Natalia laughed and my heart felt light as the surrounding scenery shifted and we were standing on the banks of Pierce Lake. Sitting under the tree near the shore, we let the minutes tick by, no words needed. She was my best friend, my protector, my parent, and my sister. Words weren’t needed for her to know how much she loved me and how much I loved her.
She smiled and wrapped her arms around me as the night pushed into the sky. We sat and watched the sun sink into the horizon, and with each passing second, I saw her fade into the darkness. “I love you Natalia and I’ll never forget you.”
“I love you too, Amaya.”
Watching her disappear in front of my eyes, I let my gaze wonder back to the lake. Wiping my eyes, I stood from the grass and just as I stepped onto the path, a man stepped in front of me, offering me his hand. I tilted my head, not able to make out his facial features. All I could feel from him was love, and I reached my hand out to him.
“I’ve been looking for you.” His pleasant voice sounded around me.
A shrill ring woke me from the dream, and I sat up quickly, looking for my phone. James kissed me on the temple and groggily whispered. “It’s mine, sweetheart. Go back to sleep.”
He picked up the phone and silenced it before reading a text message that pinged as soon as the phone quit ringing. He glanced to me, worry in his eyes as he stood from the bed. I chewed on my lip and waited for him to explain, but he left the bedroom, pulling the door closed behind him. I tried to go back to sleep, but Nova jumped onto the bed and nuzzled my cheek.
Realizing sleep wouldn’t return, I put on James’s t-shirt and walked into the living room. The apartment was empty, and I opened the patio door to find I was alone. Looking around, I found a note taped to the front door.
Amaya,
I had to go to the office on the third floor, but I’ll be back soon.
James
I put a pod into his expensive coffee machine and waited for my cup to brew, needing the caffeine to shake the fog of sleep. Taking my cup, I opened the balcony and clicked my tongue to call Nova outside with me. He happily trotted into the living room, then stretched on the floor and closed his eyes.
“Don’t get too comfortable.” I chuckled and closed the door behind me.
There was a fleece blanket draped over the back of the chair and I sat down, pulling it across my naked legs as I sipped my coffee. The sun hadn’t risen and the quiet of the night surrounded me as I watched the lights of the walking trail flicker at the edge of Pierce Lake.
Tears filled my eyes and I blew out a breath, missing my sister with every fiber of my being. I knew the pain wouldn’t always be this strong, and she had been gone for over a year, but to know I wouldn’t see her again made it too hard to handle. Reaching over, I picked up the half-smoked joint from the ashtray and lit the end. Needing the numbness to push away the pain in my chest, I inhaled deeply and waited for James to return.
