Page 16 of Embracing My Nightmare
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Devlin
FEAR WAS RULING HERactions, so I wouldn’t punish her for pulling a gun on me. Anyone else would be dead already, but I like that my lamb was standing up to me. Watching her assert herself was making my dick hard. I held my hands up in mock surrender, fighting the grin that threatened to push past my lips. She had come so far and her ability to confront me made me proud.
“Can I sit down so we can talk or are you going to use that?” I asked, nodding toward the gun.
She blew out a breath and pointed it toward the couch. I moved slowly, not wanting to frighten her, and she countered until she was sitting on the chair across from the couch and I was kicked back, comfortable on the soft leather. She sat the gun on the arm of the chair and leaned back, crossing her arms in front of her in a protective posture.
“You doowe me your life, but I promise to never touch you in anger again,” I started, wanting to catch her off-guard.
I won’t fight fair when it comes to her, but I won’t purposely hurt her either. I allowed my anger at the thought of losing her to override my control. I shouldn’t have threatened her, but the thought of her walking away from me had my vision clouded with a red haze. Everything I had done in my life was for her, but she wasn’t ready for that kind of baggage today.
She twisted her hands in her lap and stared at me with questioning eyes. I uncrossed my legs and leaned forward, resting my arms on my knees. Lacing my fingers together, I tried to appear relaxed when all I wanted to do was wrap my arms around her and protect my lamb from the world.
“Roger and Sally deserved everything they got for what they did to you. I’ll never be sorry for killing those bastards.”
“You’re being purposefully vague. Explain how you found me, how you knew them.”
Even afraid, she was still determined to learn the truth. Elise’s life had been so rough and the last thing I wanted to do was bring her any more pain. I witnessed her waking up, twisted in the blankets, her body flush with sweat as she pushed away whatever monsters were chasing her. Treading delicately, knowing what I would tell her would cause her distress, I caught her gaze and kept my eyes locked with hers.
Being as ambiguous as possible, never wanting her to know how deep our true connection ran, I explained, “I was a trained computer hacker from an early age, along with . . . other skills. I was kicking around the dark web about ten years ago and found an ad. They were planning on selling your virginity to some random pervert and I had to stop them. They were stupid as fuck, so I was able to find their home address in under a minute. I didn’t put everything together until I pulled up to the house and walked inside. I realized Roger was a distant relative. After I found you helpless on the bed, something inside me snapped. I couldn’t let them live.”
Tears fell from her eyes as she grasped what they were going to do to her. They had been drugging her and taking vile photos, offering her young, supple body to the highest bidder. From the photos, I could see the bruising and the bones sticking out on her hips. I depended on those assholes to take care of her and they violated both of our trust.
I chose blood to protect her and I killed blood to save her. I would kill again if the need arose, but I tried to put those days behind me to become a man Elise could be proud of. It didn’t mean I wasn’t feared in many circles and highly respected in others. I still had blood on my hands even after spending years cleaning up my image. There were still those who knew of me and knew I wasn’t someone to be fucked with.
“Why did you . . . how old are you?” she asked, and I smiled at her. That wasn’t what she wanted to ask, but I let it slide.
“I just turned thirty-two.”
She looked out the sliding glass door and her eyes crinkled at the edges. Tapping her fingers on the gun, she remained silent as the minutes ticked away. I stood slowly and she slid her hand across the gun as I walked into the kitchen and poured us each a cup of coffee. Stepping onto the patio, I grabbed the joint for her. I hated that she was smoking weed but understood her need to be numb to what she was learning. If it helped keep her calm, I would have the best smoke available within thirty minutes. Walking back in, I sat the cup on the coffee table separating us, left the joint and lighter, and sat back on the couch.
“You found pictures of me on the dark web and you rescued me.” She looked at me for acknowledgement and ran her hand down her face in defeat. “When you found me, you discovered your relative was involved and killed them both. Is this something you do all the time? Save girls from random perverts online? Am I just another in a long line of girls?”
Her green eyes glistened briefly with tears before she leaned over and sparked the joint, inhaling the weed deeply. I took a swallow of hot coffee and let the anger out with an exhale. She didn’t understand what I had done to ensure she was protected, and when I failed her, it killed a part of my humanity. She had no idea how trulyspecial she was to me, how ingrained her life was with mine.
“I’ve never done this before, and I won’t do it again. I saw something in you that night that called to me. I walked away because you were too young and I was too damaged. You deserved a life and for years, I stayed away. Just like I promised you. It was when I knew your demons were screaming that I came back for you. I understand you, Elise. I know what it's like to want to be destroyed but together, we don’t have to crumble. We can climb.”
“What is your life like now? Do you still hack? Do you . . .” She chewed on her lip, worry written across her beautiful face, her eyes sparkling at me.
“Saving you was the catalyst for developing my business. I designed a program to help law enforcement find predators and victims’ locations in real time, and it changed the way they track online crimes. I can invite the head of my security team to come and give you a full briefing.”
She shook her head at the offer. Her last question was left unasked, so I left it unanswered. She didn’t need to know my history and what I had to do to succeed. She didn’t need to know how many lives I’d taken. She didn’t need to know the secrets I carried like an anchor.
“Is that why you didn’t want anyone to know you were there?”
“That, along with the fact that killing someone who isn’t an immediate threat is a felony. Roger and Sally aren’t missed by anyone, and people like them don’t deserve to live. I found a way to get rid of them.” I shrugged my shoulders as she finished the joint and sipped on her coffee. She slid down into the chair, her legs tucked under her as she watched me.
“So, you kept tabs on me this whole time? Why wait so long to contact me? Why not let me know you were living upstairs?” Her tone was short, and her words were clipped.
Her attitude was understandable, but I didn’t like the disrespect she was showing me. I saved her fucking life, more than once, and she seemed unfazed by it. I needed to rein her in and give her the stability she has needed for so long.
“Please come here, Elise,” I requested and waited, letting her decide in her mind if she would come willingly.
Staring at me with appraising eyes, she sat in the chair, unmoving. I wouldn’t make her come to me. Instead, I let her decide if she trusted me. There were so many layers to Elise and I was determined to peel them away until I found the true person inside. I had seen her compassion and strength, and after the display on the patio, I knew she could protect herself. Making a mental note to find out how deep her skills lie, I watched her watch me.
Making a silent decision, she stood from the chair and moved in front of me, her green eyes wide as she awaited my instructions. Stroking my beard, I ran my eyes up her slender frame, remembering all the nights I watched her with other men, having to restrain myself from kicking her apartment door in and killing those little fuckers.
