Page 48 of The Soul that Redeems Me
My hands were sweating as I got out of the car and looked around at the innocuous running trail. Joe had parked the car and we started walking as I let the memories of that day wash over me. I forced myself to not open the envelope I had retrieved from the storage shed, not wanting it to cloud my recollections. When we got to the spot where I remember the screeching tires, I felt the warmth start, my anger slowly growing.
I was jogging when he snatched me, Andrew screaming for him to let me go as he threw me into the car. I took Josh’s hand as we walked back to the car and I pointed them in the direction my memories were telling me to go.
“I remember driving past the mall. We got stopped by a light and I tried to open the door but they were locked and there was no lever on my door to unlock it.” I recalled, not looking at anyone as the memories continued to replay in my mind.
I kept pointing to things I remember, muttering to myself, not really addressing anyone else in the car. Driving up the road, I kept seeing things I hoped were actual memories and not my brain trying to make up the facts. As we approached the local community college, I pointed straight and told Uncle Joe to go to the road ends, turn right at the light and sweep left onto the highway.
When we rounded the big curve, we immediately hit a bridge, driving over into Alabama. The tune, ‘Sweet Home Alabama’ started playing in my mind and I remembered his words, “He started singing the songSweet Home Alabamawhen we went through the big curve and was bouncing in his seat as we crossed the river. Take this exit.” My voice flat from the memories bombarding me. I pointed to the road they installed about six or seven years ago, giving new access to the river on this side of the banks.
We got to the end of the road and my brain screamed right so I pointed and told him to go slow. I felt Josh’s hand squeeze mine, giving me the strength to continue. We drove about a quarter of a mile when I saw an old overgrown road, a small red brick building covered with kudzu at the edge on the left side.
“Stop here.” Joe pulled the car over and we all got out, the sheriff’s patrol car pulling up behind us.
Uncle Joe walked back to meet him, shook his hand as they spoke quietly before walking toward us. “Emily, this is my friend Barry. He just placed a call to the local sheriff who is sending a deputy out to meet us. Are you sure this is the right place?’ Uncle Joe asked me, my memories coming from every direction.
Nodding to him, “I’m sure. There weren’t all those apartments back there, it was more deserted but I’m positive this is the place. I remember that brick building and thinking how strange it was to have a house covered in vines.” I remarked, pointing at the building across the two-lane road from where we pulled onto the side.
The sound of an approaching car had us turning, an Alabama sheriff’s car stopping behind Barry’s Georgia car. The two deputies addressed each other before I was introduced to the female officer standing in front of me.
Josh took my hand as we walked onto the overgrown road and began down the path, the sound of rushing water getting louder with each step. My heart was racing and I felt like I wanted to vomit. I withdrew my hand from Josh’s and continued walking until the old dirt road ended into a small clearing, the river flowing wild and untamed just at the edge of the clearing.
Walking around, everyone had stopped and was giving me space to think. I closed my eyes and allowed the sounds of the river to pull me into my nightmare. When I opened my eyes, I looked down and resting on the ground, surrounded by trash and drug needles, I saw something shimmer.
I looked over my shoulder as the vision flashed in front of my eyes and I grabbed my arm, rubbing the scar hidden under my tattoo as tears began to fall. I pointed and the Alabama deputy walked up to me and bent down, retrieving a small broken bracelet, my name engraved onto it.
“It was a present from my Grandad for my twelfth birthday. I didn’t remember wearing it that day and I have been looking for it for years. It must have come off when he…” taking a deep breath, I continued, “when he pulled the door back onto my arm and broke it. I didn’t even know I had lost it until right this minute.” I cried as I felt Josh spin me into his arms and I allowed the tears to fall freely.
The deputy bagged the bracelet and we walked back to the car, I felt all the energy drain from my body the closer to the road we got. Josh, sensing my impending emotional crash, picked me up and carried me to the car, the deputies leading the way, Uncle Joe and Aunt Lisa bringing up the rear.
Josh settled me into the car and told me he needed to call Jason so the lawyers could get involved, I nodded my head and pull myself into a tight ball, wanting the horrible moment to pass. I could feel his hands on me, his rancid breath on my face, the feeling of pain across my entire body.
I am stronger than my demons.
With trembling hands, I pulled out my phone and called Dr. Sawyer. “Emily, are you okay?”
“I think so. I did it, Dr. Sawyer. I was right.” I cried into the phone, the relief pouring from me.
“I knew you could do it. I’m so proud of you. Is Josh with you?”
“Yes. He is outside the car talking to the deputies and making sure Jason’s lawyers know what we found.”
“Can you put him on the phone?”
I called Josh and handed him the phone as he listened to whatever Dr. Sawyer told him. He nodded his head, said yes a few times and handed the phone back to me. He kissed me on top of my head before going over and shaking the deputy’s hands and talking to Joe and Lisa.
“Hello?” I asked Dr. Sawyer.
“Emily, I want you to come home. There isn’t anything else you need to do there. You have done remarkably well but now you need to rest. I want to see you tomorrow morning and bring Josh with you.”
I confirmed the appointment time and disconnected the phone. Laying my head down, I pulled my hoodie over my head and allowed the tears to fall unchecked.
I was right! Now, I’m going to make him pay!
I met with Dr. Sawyer the next day, Josh sitting in on our session, as he listened to me express my anger in the only place I have ever felt comfortable to let it out. We worked on some therapeutic techniques and Dr. Sawyer encouraged Josh to attend my next few sessions so he could learn my triggers and the best ways to diffuse my anger and resentment.
As always, Jake sat at my feet, snoring throughout the session. Dr. Sawyer suggested we have Jake registered as an emotional support animal and I vehemently refused the suggestion. Jake is my pet, my companion, and while I feel calmer when he is around, he is not trained for the kind of situations that may arise with my anxiety and depression.
I don’t think people should be able to register any untrained pet to be with them at all times. If I get to that point, which I don’t think I will, then I will invest in a trained service dog and Jake can still be my pet. Until then, Jake can accompany me some of the time and sleep on my pillow when I have to leave him at home.
