Page 45 of The Soul that Redeems Me
Jason pulled up the security app for the apartment and I saw her exit, mouth ‘I love you’ to the camera, blow me a kiss, and get into the elevator. I tried to call her over and over again, all going to straight to voicemail. I could tell by her posture that she was beyond angry and knowing she was gone, my fear for her safety and mental well-being was off the charts. Seeing her leave, alone, had my heart shattering inside of my chest.
Andrew came in and I explained what was going on. He tried to call her over and over, all with the same results. By the time he was ready to throw his phone against the wall, the rest of the family came into the office and were brought up to speed.
“She left and it’s all your fault, Josh.” Andrew spits at me, causing Caroline to swing around, confronting her husband head-on.
“Cut the crap, Andrew! We’re all worried about her but pointing fingers at the man she loves, the man who protected her from herself, from the dangers, isn’t getting us anywhere. I know you blame yourself but it is Shane Montgomery’s fault,no one else. His selfish desires, both then and now are what drove Josh’s protection, your anger, and her running. Everyone in this room has run from something at one point or another and who is the person who always talks us into listening. It’s Josh, so what we need to do is stop arguing and figure out where she is so he can go get her and bring her home.” Caroline said, bringing a sense of calm into the room.
I mouthed “thank you” to Caroline as she took Andrew by the hand and pulled him into a hug.
“Where would she go?” Maddie asked. “Has anyone called her therapist to see if she has heard from her?”
Andrew picked up his phone and put the call on speaker.
“Dr. Elaine Sawyer, how can I help you?”
“Dr. Sawyer, it’s Andrew Sheppard, Emily’s brother. Have you heard from her today?”
“No, I haven’t, Andrew. What’s going on? Is Emily okay?” she asked, concerned about my love’s well-being.
“We found out today that the man who attacked her is appealing for a new trial. The only way to keep him in jail is for Emily to testify in front of a judge. She overheard all of us talking about what would be the best course of action. She took off and isn’t answering her phone. She went to the apartment but left about twenty minutes ago. We need to find her.” Andrew explained as I heard Dr. Sawyer exhale loudly through the phone.
“Who all is listening in on this conversation?” she inquired.
“Jason, Carol, Caroline, Maddie, Lucas, Josh, and myself.”
“And you were all involved in the conversation she overheard?”
“Yes.” I answered, “This is Josh. We have to find her, Dr. Sawyer. I’m afraid of what she will do.”
“You all need to be worried. Damn it. I was hoping she was moving past this but apparently, she isn’t. I’m not supposed to talk with you about a patient but Emily signed a waiver for you Andrew, so I’m going to pretend we are alone on this phone call. Agreed?” her tone leaving no room for error. This conversation never happened.
I mutterings of yes and she began to speak, “You have always assumed Emily was scared, afraid, hiding inside of herself. That’s because that’s what she wanted you to see. Emily is filled with rage. Pure, unfiltered rage at what that man did to her. She was helpless to stop him and after she recovered, she used the training Andrew taught her to fuel the anger inside. She feels immense shame for the anger and resentment she carries inside. She felt guilty, telling me she shouldn’t feel the way she did. In truth, she wanted to testify. She wanted to face him in court and let him know she was stronger than he was. She survived what he did to her. I’m not afraid she will hurt herself or anyone else. I’m afraid she is so angry, she isn’t thinking clearly, looking for a needle in a haystack. She’s pissed at you for trying to decide her path for her and I’m afraid she has gone to find the missing piece of her memories, alone.”
“You’re talking about the sound of water, aren’t you?” I asked into the room, the pieces starting to come together in my mind, “She wants to prove what she has always suspected, doesn’t she?”
Everyone in the room swivels their heads toward me, a quizzical look on their faces as Dr. Sawyer confirms my gut feeling.
“I think so and the fact that she told you means she trusts you, explicitly. She will lash out at you, Josh. Support her. Love her. Hold her tight and let her decide how she wants to proceed. Trust her you will be fine. But in the future, every one of you, don’t exclude the person whose life you are deciding. Talk to them and have faith. Someone needs to call me when she is located so I know she is safe.” Dr. Sawyer’s voice sounding into the silent room.
“I’ll call as soon as we know.” Andrew responded and disconnected the phone, his eyes swinging to mine as he asked, “Want to explain what the hell that last part was about?”
I sent my Mom a text, asking her to meet me at the apartment with Jake as soon as possible. I knew where Emily was headed and I wanted Jake there when I found her. His ability to calm her has been instrumental in her ability to handle the stress and apparent anger she is dealing with.
Looking up, I found six sets of eyes looking at me, waiting for me to explain something that I felt Emily should. I needed to give them enough to calm down without uncovering Emily’s full confession to me.
“Can we sit?” as we moved to the couches against the exposed brick wall and settled in, “A while back, Emily had a nightmare and we sat up all night talking. She told me a little more about her attack. Memories, small details, that type of thing. It was so hard to listen to her but she needed to get it out. She needed absolution from her pain. After we spoke, I tried not to dwell on what she said but there was something nagging me about her recollection. I think she is headed to Columbus. Call it a gut feeling but I think she is looking for that last piece of the puzzle to be able to prove what he did.”
“We know what he did.” Maddie whispered.
Sighing, I knew I would have to spell it out without giving too much detail, “She remembered water loudly rushing all around her while it… while he… she told me the last thing she remembered before she passed out and woke up in the hospital was crossing a bridge, driving back into Georgia. He took her into Alabama and that’s where he…”
“My lawyers didn’t find that in the evidence documents, Josh. How did we not know this?” Jason asked, a small smile playing on his face.
“I don’t understand. He took her into Alabama? What does that have to do with anything?” Caroline asked.
“That makes what he did a federal crime.” Lucas responded, a stunned Andrew swinging his gaze around the room.
“If I’m right, she is looking for the place he took her, to prove her memories are correct. I don’t understand why but I need to find her. My Mom is meeting me at the apartment and I’m getting Jake. Lately, he is the only thing that keeps her calm and my hope is he will help keep her on a level keel while I help her search.” I explained as I stood and began to walk to the door.
