Page 44 of The Soul that Redeems Me
I nodded my head as I turned to face her, pulling one leg on the bench, giving her my full focus. She turned her head back looking at the river as she began to speak. “I was nineteen and it was the summer after I met Joe. He had been deployed for a few months and I was missing him so badly. We had been inseparable since our first date and we were counting down the days until he returned and his contract of service was completed. We talked about getting married and starting a family.” She wistfully smiled before her expression changed, “I was invited by a friend from high school to a party. Some of our friends were home for the summer and they were going to the lake for the day. She begged me to come with them, knowing how lonely I had been since Joe was overseas. I went with her, not really feeling like being around other people but I had promised Joe I would try and ‘live a little’.” She made air quotes with her fingers.
“We water skied, got sun, and cooked out. The day was filled with laughter and I was having a good time, reminiscing with old friends, and meeting new people. I told my friend I needed to use to the restroom and she gave me directions to where it was at the house we were at. The port-a-potty they had set up was bad enough in the day but even worse at night. I went into the house and got turned around. I ended up in a room, alone, with two drunk guys I hadn’t seen before. I didn’t know who they were or where they came from. My gut was telling me to run but I was frozen in place, in my bikini, in a room with two drunk strangers. Details don’t matter, not after all this time, not in this situation. Afterward, I was ashamed, scared, confused but mostly, I was angry. I had to tell Joe but I waited the two months until he returned. I explained I expected him to break up with me and I knew that it was my fault. I didn’t run. I didn’t fight hard enough. Joe held me, loved me through the good times and the bad, and all these years later, he is still standing by my side. He helped me release the anger and resentment and when that weight lifted, I felt like I had a new chance at life. Josh will do the same for you if you let him. Why don’t you trust him?” She asked as she wiped away a fallen tear from her face.
“I do trust him. It’s him and everyone else that doesn’t trust me.”
“That’s not true and you know it. You’re mad. You have every right to be, but you do not have the right to make people worry. You need to call them and tell them where you are. Now, why are you here? The truth.” Her voice stern, reminding me of my mother.
I looked up at her with watery eyes, “You sound like Momma. I miss her so much. Dad too. I wish they were here.” I told her as she pulled me into an embrace as she patted my back until my tears stopped.
“They are here. How else do you explain how I ended up at an outdoor event on a Monday afternoon except your Mom knew you needed me by your side? Smile and rejoice the time you had them in your life and use the lessons they taught you to move forward, putting the past behind you.”
Sometimes people have to bear their greatest humiliation in order to help another heal.
I heard the words whispered from the torrent flowing past us.
I understand, Mom.
Blowing out a breath I was holding, I told her the real reason I was in Columbus, “He took me into Alabama when he raped me. I never told the police because it was one of those details that didn’t seem important at the time. I gave them the details as I remembered them, but I never told them about the water. I remember the sound of rushing water all around me, drowning out my screams for help. He took me across state lines, Aunt Lisa. I know that is enough to seal his fate, I just can’t remember where he took me. I need to remember where he took me.” I cried out, my anger rising again, forcing me to my feet.
She took my hand and sat me back down on the bench, “First thing you are going to do is call Josh or Andrew and tell them you are safe and where you are. Second, we are going to get you settled into Caroline’s old room at the house. Third, we’re going to find where he took you, if you want my help, that is.”
I nodded my head and picked up my phone, sending a text to Josh.
E: I’m in Columbus with Aunt Lisa and I am safe. I need to do this, so… please, trust me to know what is right. I love you.
The three dots appeared, letting me know he was responding.
J: I do trust you. Please talk to me, let me help you.
E: I’ll call you tomorrow but this is something I need to do alone.
I powered my phone off and looked at Aunt Lisa who shook her head as we stood up, mumbling under her breath, “Hardheaded.”
