Page 36 of The Hand That Holds Me
“You, Lucas. You changed me and I am so happy you are in my life. I love you.”
“I love you, Maddie. So much.” As he kissed me gently. It was perfect for the moment and I wished I could freeze us here in this exact spot in time and space. Just Maddie and Lucas and their perfect love.
“Would you like to go to my lake house this weekend? I just had it opened for the summer and I would love to show you my favorite place to be, besides with you. It’s quiet, isolated from neighbors and has a reading area I think you may fall in love with. So, what so you say? What to spend the next three days getting some sun and relaxation?”
“That sounds amazing. When do you want to leave?” I was excited about getting some uninterrupted time with Lucas so I can take my time and fully explore his rock-hard body.
“Can you be ready to leave in an hour? The drive up is about an hour and a half and I need to stop by my house to grab some clothes. I should have planned better but I just got the call today that the cleaning service was able to get it opened up and groceries stocked. You can pack light because I don’t plan on letting you out of my bed the whole weekend.” He smirked at me, his beard framing his perfect face.
I couldn’t wait to wake up next to him in the morning.
“Yes! I’ll get some clothes together and call Caroline to let her know where I will be so she doesn’t worry. I can be ready to go in a few minutes.” I gave him a quick peck on the lips and jumped off the couch, practically bouncing down the hallway into my bedroom.
His laughter from the living room was a balm to my soul. The sound making me feel lighter and happier than I have ever been.
As I was putting my bathroom items into the bag, a movement caught my eye, causing me to freeze in place.
A butterfly was sitting on my vanity mirror, its wings spread out to show the beautiful royal blue center, brown edges with white dots. I was afraid to move or breathe in fear of scaring the delicate creature.
I immediately felt the tears falling from my eyes but did nothing to wipe them away. A feeling like my mother was sitting next to me, telling me how proud she was of me and how she was glad I was finally living my life, overtook me.
Her words from her letter ringing true.
Love with your entire heart. Have faith and be brave.
I will mom. I promise.
I gently placed my hand near the butterfly and it flew to me, landing with a tickle, flapping its wings a few times. I took a minute to look at the creature resting on me and I suddenly understood more than I ever had about myself, causing the final pieces of the concrete around my heart to fall away into dust. I had spent my entire life hiding in a cocoon, afraid to show the world who I really was for fear of being hurt. Lucas had given me the strength to face my past and encouraged me to fight my way out of the cocoon I had placed myself in.
My wings were able to expand and I was finally able to fly free, to experience love and all the amazing parts that go into giving your whole heart to another person. I was no longer afraid to share myself or dream of a future that I wanted. A husband, kids, forever.
I slowly walked through the apartment toward the sliding glass doors. As I slid the door open, I felt Lucas come up and gently wrap his arms around me, resting his chin on my shoulder to look at the blue butterfly I was holding.
“Where did she come from?” he asked without making sudden movements, almost like he was afraid she would leave.
“I found her waiting on my bathroom vanity. Isn’t she beautiful? I’m not sure how she got in but she deserves to fly free outside.”
I raised my hand and Lucas slowly slid his hand under mine as the butterfly flapped its wings and gently flew off into the setting sun.
He turned me in his arms and noticed my dried tears. “Why the tears Maddie?” he asked with a small smile on his face.
“My mom used to call my butterfly. I think she may have been telling me its okay to open my heart. To let someone love me.” I admitted, wanting him to see that he had my heart and I trusted him to take care of it. For once, I allowed myself to be vulnerable.
He pulled me into the deepest hug I have ever experienced. His arms wrapped around me, his face buried in my neck, breathing me in. As he pulled back, I saw the unshed tears in his eyes matching mine.
“I love you, Maddie.”
“I love you, Lucas.”
We arrived at my lake house a little before midnight. Maddie had fallen asleep about twenty minutes after we left my house. I had given her the fifty-cent tour as I threw some clothes together and grabbed a few bottles of wine from my wine cabinet, rushing to get on the road so we could get here. I needed to be completely alone with Maddie so I could worship her body the way I’d craved since the moment I first saw her picture.
I used the remote to open the garage door and parked the car inside. She stirred when I turned the car off and looked over at me with a sleepy smile on her face.
“I’m sorry I fell asleep. I must have been more tired than I thought. What can I do to help?”
“Let me show you inside the house and I’ll come back and grab our bags. I want you to relax and let me pamper you this weekend.” I said as I softly kissed her lips.
We walked into the house and I was nervous to see what she thought of my oasis. I came here most weekends during the summer and generally spent my vacations here. I traveled enough for the company that I wanted to be able to relax when I was at home.
