Page 32 of The Hand That Holds Me
“Someone was threatening him? Us?” a wobble in my voice relayed the fear I was feeling.
“She never said it directly but, yes, that is my opinion. I think Jason’s father or the company somehow got involved in something that caused extreme danger to you and Sara. He was there to witness your birth and not one time did he leave the hospital. He took you guys home and made sure you were put in bed. They held each other for a few hours and that’s when things get fuzzy. I don’t know if she woke up alone or he told her he would be back, either way it happened, he got a phone call from his dad. He left and never returned. She called his office and his parents’ house and got nothing but answering machines. She let me know a few days after he left and I came up to check on her. Caroline was a couple of months old and I wanted to be there for Sara. She was isolated and alone. Scared of the future of being a single mother.”
“Joe found him through his company and she made the trip up New York. When she returned, she told us she wasn’t going to look for him anymore, she had the answer she needed and it was time for her to move on. It took her getting sick for her to tell us what had happened. I didn’t realize until then she’d had contact with Jason all those years. I don’t know what kind and to what extent they communicated, but she gave me the contact information for a lawyer here in Atlanta that made sure you were cared for. Told me if something happened to her, to contact them so I did when she passed away. The only thing they told me was the account Sara had access to was closed and no further contact would be made.”
My head was starting to hurt and my eyes felt swollen from all the crying I had done. Listening to the story of my mothers’ heartbreak and Jason’s desire for us to be a family had disrupted my world.
I had always felt like the little orphan girl. Father didn’t want me, mother died. I never thought he wanted to make us a family, only he had to keep us safe by sending us away.
Now I wondered if I remembered everything from the night he sent us away. He had closed the door behind him, to keep us out I thought, and he got rid of us pretty quickly. Almost like he didn’t want anyone to see us with him. Maybe he was trying to keep the danger away and the conversation they had wasn’t what it sounded like.
She’d given him a letter and he still had it in his hand when we drove away. I remember him putting it in his coat pocket and holding his hand over his heart, looking at us as we drove away.
He wanted me all along.
I looked out the window and saw a beautiful blue butterfly land on our patio table.
I felt like mom was here, letting me know everything was okay and she loved me.
“If it’s okay, I‘d like to read the rest of these later. It is a lot to take in and I need some time to think.”
“Think about what, Maddie? This is what you wanted. To know what happen to be able to move past your hurt and resentment to a healthy life. You have been holding a part of yourself away your entire life. There is a great guy who cares a lot about you and you care about him. Take what your mom said to heart. Have faith and be brave.” Caroline said as she stood up and went to refill our coffees.
“Life is short Maddie. Seize the damn day.” She shouted from the kitchen.
I owed it to my myself and my parents, both of them, to find forgiveness from the past.
I owed it to Lucas to open my heart and try.
Iarrived at the office Monday a little later than usual due to a flat tire. Not how I wanted to start my week after going two days without seeing Maddie. We spoke briefly on Saturday night but I could tell she was upset over whatever her aunt told her. I hoped it was just her learning about her past and not her finding out about my connection to Jason.
Joe had been less than enthusiastic about keeping Maddie in the dark about Jason and I. He warned that Maddie is extremely defensive about betrayal and I just prayed she could look past it when the relationship is revealed. Fate brought me to that bar that night. Nothing more.
I knew when I first saw a picture of Maddie that love at first sight was real. I use to think Jason was embellishing his love for Sara and the instant connection they had. There was no way you could fall in love with someone without getting to know them. After seeing Maddie in person for the first time, I knew it was real.
I walked into the office and past my secretary without stopping to get my messages like usual. I was a man with purpose and I think I might have just outed my relationship with Maddie.
I. Did. Not. Care.
I needed my lips on her and needed her small, curvy body in my arms. My mind was going crazy with desire for her.
I opened her office door she raised her head from a stack of paperwork and gave me a smile that illuminated the room.
I closed the door behind me and with a subtle click, locking us in. Striding across the room, I had her in my arms before she was able to fully get out of her chair. I felt like a man possessed. Her beauty was a siren song to my soul. Her love was my redemption.
I had my arm around her waist pulling her soft body into me, as I wrapped my hand into her hair, pulling her mouth to mine.
She linked her hands around my neck and pushed her tongue into my mouth, matching me stroke for stroke, her hunger matching mine, not able to get close enough to each other. Something had shifted in her and she was pouring her emotions into our kiss.
I took control of the kiss and began to work my way down her neck, nibbling and sucking, as she moaned and rubbed herself against my throbbing cock, her hands clutching my hair like a lifeline.
I found a spot behind her ear that made her entire body shiver in my arms and I knew she was getting as worked up as I was. How far would she allow me to take this in the office? I wouldn’t fuck her here. Our first time wouldn’t be a quick and fast over a desk for anyone walking by to hear.No. Our first time would be in a huge bed where I can take my time and feast on her perfection for hours and hours, wringing every drop by pleasure from her, devouring her.
I slowly withdrew from her mouth, kissing along her neck and exposed shoulder, allowing myself to calm the inferno that was erupting in my soul. My need for Maddie was growing with each new encounter, my desire raging inside like an inferno. I knew I loved her and wanted to sing it from the rooftops. I wanted the entire city of Atlanta to know the depth of my love for this amazing woman. I worried that she didn’t feel the same about me, but I willing to do what it took to make her mine.
I pulled back and put a little distance between us, still holding her in my arms. My aching cock was throbbing being so close to her curvy body. He was angry that I was denying him again, but when I had Maddie for the first time I wanted to explore her perfect body without a rush. I wanted her to be able to be as vocal as she wanted, hearing her come undone under me, experiencing all the pleasure I could give her.
With her hand in mine, I led us to the sitting area in her office that we had camped out on during the long sessions of research over the last week.
