Page 18 of The Hand That Holds Me
“I would appreciate that very much Lucas. And please let me officially accept the position at MSJ Media. I just hope I don’t let anyone down.”
“That, Maddie, is impossible.” Reaching across the table and gently stroking the side of her face with my hand, causing her to lean into my touch.
Her eyes closed and a small sign escaped her lips, seeming like she was content and happy.
Please let that be because of me.
She opened her beautiful eyes and I could swear I was looking into my forever.
Today was my first day at MSJ and I was scheduled to meet with Lucas after I finish getting my ID picture taken. To say I was nervous about today would be putting it mildly.
I woke up at five this morning, unable to sleep another minute. Nerves had taken over every time I thought about those touches we shared at lunch, the text and phone conversations we had this last week, and my excitement to see him again.
He asked me to dinner over the weekend, but I needed to finish my shifts at the bar to avoid Caroline having to take up my slack. I hated that we didn’t work together anymore, but she’s happy, so I won’t push her…yet.
I know she stayed with me instead of going back to Columbus like she really wanted to. Atlanta isn’t for everyone and she’s more of a small-town girl than I am. I loved the hustle and bustle of the city, but she preferred the quiet of our smaller hometown.
The laid-back town we grew up in was not the typical one stoplight Georgia town. We lived in an area that had a large military base, so we lived in what the locals called the “international south”. People, restaurants, and culture from around the world, all with the small-town charm you’d expect from Georgia.
I was lost in thought about our childhood, my mother and, strangely, Jason. I’d been thinking about him more and more lately, all the while wondering if he ever looked for me.
Did he regret the way he sent us away? Was he aware that momma died? Did he know Aunt Lisa and Uncle Joe took me in when there was no place else for me to go?
I knew very little about Jason Merrick, my father. I knew he came from money but was unsure how his family earned it all. Not that money matters to me. I grew up taken care of but not well-off and he lived in a huge house in Buckhead, the one from my only memory of him.
A few years ago, we were on our way home from visiting friends in North Georgia when we got detoured around an accident.Typical Atlanta!We ended up in Buckhead and Caroline asked if I wanted her to Google him.
How sad is it you need to Google your own father to find out anything about him?
I told Caroline if he’d wanted me at his house, he would have opened the door all those years ago. That was the last time she asked if I wanted to find him. The look she gave me that day is still vivid in my memory. Sadness mixed with anger. I never asked her why she was mad, and she never offered to find Jason again.
I must have been deeper in thought than I realized when Caroline dropped down in the chair opposite me, drinking deeply from her coffee. Her content sigh let me know she enjoyed the new coffee I ordered for us, a splurge.
I raise my eyebrows at her, smirking behind my cup. “Good coffee?”
“God, yes!” she moaned around another swallow of the magical elixir of life we somehow survived on. “What kind is it again? I know you said it is expensive but hot damn this is amazing coffee!”
“I ordered it from Hawaii. Remember we saw that TV show about the guy who goes around doing the nasty jobs? He worked at their farm and for some reason, it made it to the life list. After my first cup this morning, I think it was $55 well spent.”
“I guess I can understand how the other half desires the finer things in life with coffee this good.” Eyes closed, she took another sip of the heavenly java.
“Yeah, we may splurge on some things but I refuse to allow this money to go to my head. You and I went to school with those rich kids. They were just as unhappy as we were, only in better clothes.” I grinned.
Caroline and I went to the best high school in our town and we both excelled in academics. We were lucky enough to be in the right part of the district to garner us an education that parents now fought for.
I still don’t understand why she hasn’t sent out a single resume since graduation. She was smarter than me and her degree would open whatever doors she wanted but she’s happy slinging drinks.
She made killer tips with her blonde hair and emerald green eyes and could take anyone home she wanted to. Shealmost neverdoes. I’ve asked her since we left home for college about what happened to her long-term ex-boyfriend Andrew, only to be met with sad eyes and silence.
We’ve always told each other everything, from our first periods to losing our virginity. For her to have kept his departure so closely guarded worried me.
I know they had a disagreement and some harsh words were said by both, but I’d always hoped they would work things out. They were perfect for each other, having met when we were all in sixth grade. His father was in the military and Andrew and his family had been a regular part of our lives growing up.
I tried to find him last year to figure out what happen between them but when I stopped by his old house, it was vacant. No social media , no chatter from old classmates. It was almost like he disappeared. When he left, he took part of her heart with him.
“Are you excited about your first day?”
“Nervous and excited. This is an amazing opportunity for me and I don’t want to blow this. I feel like I can make a real difference in areas of the city that are under-funded and where kids fall through the cracks. And to be able to bring seniors who may never have company and these kids together… seems like a dream come true. I feel like I should pinch myself to make sure I’m not dreaming”
