Page 40 of Rough Ride with the Grumpy Cowboy
“Are you okay?” Ella asks, turning to me worriedly.
“I’m so nervous,” I confess, lifting my shaking hand to show her how bad it is.
She gives me a comforting smile and intertwines our fingers. “It’s okay, I’m here. You are gonna do great,” she assures me.
“Thank you. I hope so. Give me a few minutes?” I request.
“I’ll sit with you. Take all the time you need.”
This is the reason why Ella is my best friend—she always knows what to say and do to help me. That is, until she asked the most unhinged question.
“Why Zane’s bed?”
“What?!”
I haven’t told her that Zane and I slept together, and I do not intend to. It was a one-time thing that will never happen again, so I want it to stay in the past.
“I’ve been thinking about it and wondering why you chose Zane’s bed to sleepwalk into?”
Oh, that’s what she’s talking about. That’s a relief.
I shrug since I’m just as lost as she is. “I don’t know.”
“Are you still in love with him?”
I fall silent since that’s a deep question. My feelings for Zane are complicated, to say the least, and I explain just as much. “I honestly have no idea. I haven’t considered any other feelings toward him other than guilt and regret.”
“Maybe your subconscious is trying to tell you something,” she suggests.
“Like what?”
“You are still in love with him. That’s why you unconsciously sought him out for comfort when you were at your most vulnerable,” she explains.
“You think so?”
“I don’t know. I’m not a therapist—I’m just guessing here—but only you know your own heart and feelings best.”
She might be onto something, but I don’t want to start dissecting my feelings toward Zane. I already have enough going on.
We sit in the car for another five minutes before I feel ready to go in. As we’re entering the building, I’m suddenly overwhelmed with the feeling of being watched, but when I look around, there’s no one there.
“What is it?” Ella asks.
I shrug, refusing to worry her since this might just be me being paranoid.
“Nothing. Let’s go in.”
I know it’s a risk coming here since I might run into my family, but Ella assured me it would be okay. I’m choosing to believe her since the alternative is me running for the hills, and I don’t want to disappoint Daisy.
Ella introduces me to Frida, the coordinator, who takes us to the class. The students go crazy when they realize I’ll be the one teaching them, which is a boost to my ego.
The three hours end up being so much more fun than I thought they would be, and Daisy has the biggest grin on her face the whole time.
I am definitely doing this again.
16
ZANE
