Page 23 of Rough Ride with the Grumpy Cowboy
“No,” I assert a bit more forcefully.
“I’m here for three months. I thought we’d be able to avoid each other, but it seems we can’t, so let’s...”
“Let’s do nothing but do our best to stay out of each other’s way. Now, while I’m still asking nicely, get out,” I stress, pointing at the door.
Instead of doing as I ask, she manages to sidestep me and walk further into the room. She stops at the mechanical bull, looking at it in awe. “I didn’t know you still trained. Ella told me that the doctors said you’d never ride again, but I should have known you wouldn’t listen...”
Something about Ava being in the room where I’m trying so hard to reclaim my past glory doesn’t sit right with me. She needs to leave. Now!
Before she can utter another word, I bridge the gap between us and pick her up, tossing her over my shoulder, making her squeal in surprise. She weighs less than my lightest dumbbell. Does she eat?
“Zane, put me down,” she orders, punching my back.
“Okay,” I concur as I walk toward the door and set her down outside.
“Once again, stay away from me.” I move to close the door, but she sticks her leg out and stops me.
“Zane, please.”
“What more do you want from me, Ava? Look at me...” I sigh, pointing at my body.
Her gaze softens as she takes in my scars once more.
“Do you really think an apology and a ‘talk’ is going to fix things? No! Maybe it would have before, but not now—it’s too little, too late. You are here, not for me but for a vacation, so why don’t you focus on that and stay away from me. If you actually want to do something for me, it’ll be to stay away, please.”
My words render her speechless. She bows her head and pulls her leg back. The door automatically closes, shutting her out.
This constant back and forth between us is taking an emotional toll on me. I don’t want to keep on doing this for the next three months, so I hope that this time she has actually listened to me. I’m still not done with my workout, so I get on the treadmill, deciding to burn off my frustration with some cardio.
9
AVA
Once again, Ava Noa Ramirez has managed to royally fuck up. I should have just stayed in the house, writing music in my bedroom. I owe the record label a new album, and I’m supposed to be taking my three months here as a chance to relax while I write said songs. But oh no, I just had to take a break and once again ruin my chances at fixing things with Zane.
Why did I think it was okay to go for an evening stroll and, even worse, to enter a room whose door was left open when clearly, there was a sign on the door saying “DO NOT ENTER” in big, bold, red letters?
The minute I realized what kind of room it was, I should have turned around and walked away.
I was so surprised to see that Zane is still training. Ella was the one to inform me that the doctors told him his bull riding career was over, and my mother confirmed it for me. Of course Zane is too stubborn to listen to his doctors—he’s still holding onto his dreams, which is great for him. More than anyone, I hope he’ll be able to get on the back of a bull to compete.
Not to alleviate my guilt, but because I know how important his career is to him and how he didn’t get to win that world title.
Still, I should have turned and left, but the moment I saw his scars, I couldn’t move. After the accident, I only saw him once, and he was still in a coma, in the ICU, nothing but tubes, covered in bandages, clinging onto life through machines, so I never truly saw the extent of his injuries.
Of course I knew they were bad, but to personally see his scars and finally understand how bad it was for him... I will never be able to fathom his pain. I walked out of that accident with two scars—one on my arm where it was sliced open by glass and another on my stomach after one of the metal bars in the door went through me. Zane, unfortunately, wasn’t as lucky as I was and has much more trauma than I do.
The pain in his eyes as he made me look and the anguish in his voice as he pleaded with me to keep my distance—that will haunt me for a long time to come.
“What more do you want from me, Ava? Look at me... Do you really think an apology and a ‘talk’ is going to fix things? No! Maybe it would have before, but not now—it’s too little, too late. You are here, not for me but for a vacation, so why don’t youfocus on that and stay away from me. If you actually want to do something for me, it’ll be to stay away, please.”
Zane is right—an apology is too little, too late, and the best thing I can do for him is stay away like he’s asked me to, multiple times. I thought an apology was what was needed to fix things between us, but maybe I was wrong and distance is what he needs most.
I’m heading up the stairs, back to my room to have a proper cry, when I unfortunately run into Ella. I’m too late in covering my tear-streaked face, and of course it’s the first thing she notices and asks about.
“Why are you crying? Did something happen?”
I try hiding my face from her, but she cups my cheeks and makes me meet her eyes.
