Page 53 of In Her Fears
“They don’t know what to think,” Eric said.“But your paintings—they match the murder scenes.Exactly.The one of the man staked to a tree with a pentagram carved above him?That’s how Holbrook was found.And apparently, you have another painting showing Alexis’s death, but you painted it a week ago.”
Elias felt something cold settle in his chest.“I see,” he murmured.“And I more than half-wonder if it’s not true.”
“What do you mean?”Eric leaned forward.
“I don’t know anymore,” Elias admitted.“What’s real.What’s dream.What’s memory.It all bleeds together after so long without sleep.”
Eric was watching him closely, concern in his expression.“That’s why Sheriff Graves wanted me to talk to you,” he said.“To find out if you can think of anything that might connect your paintings with what’s happening out there in the world.”
Elias considered this, his thoughts moving sluggishly through the fog of exhaustion.There was something important here, something just beyond his grasp.A connection he needed to make.
“Perhaps,” he said slowly, “it’s time.”
“Time for what?”
“To forgive you,” Elias said, the words feeling strange on his tongue after so many years of bitterness.“For Lina.For the affair.”
Eric looked as if he’d been struck, his eyes widening with shock.“Elias—”
“I’ve been harboring it too long,” Elias continued, the words coming easier now.“This bitterness.This rage.Perhaps it’s poisoned me.Perhaps it’s leaking out into the world somehow, through my paintings.Through these visions.”
He leaned forward, his gaunt face catching the last light from the dying fire.“What if my anger is causing these deaths?What if my refusal to forgive has created something...monstrous?”
Eric seemed at a loss for words, his expression a complex mixture of guilt, grief, and astonishment.“I never expected—” he began, then stopped.“I’ve carried what happened with me every day for seven years, Elias.Not just Lina’s death, but knowing that I betrayed you.My friend.”
“And I’ve carried my part,” Elias said.“The confrontation.The things I said that night.The way I drove her away.”
A memory surfaced—the three of them in the clearing, moonlight filtering through the trees, the remains of their picnic scattered around them.His accusations, loud in the night air.Lina’s face, stricken.Eric’s guilty silence.
And later, finding her body.The note, simple and devastating: “I can’t live with what I’ve done.”
“I forgive you,” Elias said, the words unexpectedly liberating.“And I need to ask for your forgiveness as well.”
“Of course,” Eric replied.“Of course I forgive you.God, Elias, I’ve missed you.Missed our friendship.”
A fragile silence settled between them, no longer tense but tender, like a wound beginning to heal.
“There’s more,” Elias said after a moment.“I need to make peace with Lina’s spirit as well.”
“What do you mean?”
“Tonight,” Elias said, his voice taking on a dreamy quality, “I plan to go to the last place where the three of us were together.The clearing in the woods where we had that final picnic.Where I confronted you both about the affair.”
He saw understanding dawn in Eric’s eyes.“The old picnic area,” he said.
Elias nodded.“I’ve been haunted by that night.By the fact that she took her life just hours later.I need to go there, to that spot, and make peace with her memory.”
“I’ve been haunted by it too,” Eric admitted.“Not a day goes by that I don’t think about her.About what we did.About how it ended.”
He hesitated, then added, “But Elias, there are police officers watching your house.They won’t just let you leave, especially not after what happened today with that crowd.”
A smile ghosted across Elias’s hollow face, transforming it briefly into something that recalled the handsome, vibrant man he had once been.“You and I both know they can’t keep me here,” he said.“I’m freer to come and go than they realize.”
Eric nodded slowly, understanding dawning in his eyes.
“Do you want me to come with you?”Eric asked.“To the clearing?”
Elias shook his head.“No.This is something I have to do alone.”He paused, then added, “But thank you.For coming when I asked.For listening.”
