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I feel bad for the girl who gets in Daria’s way. She has enough energy to crush a mountain if she concentrates it all on one task.

Oliver’s words echo in the back of my head, but I push them away. I hate him for planting those traitorous seeds in my friendships. Daria is my bestie, and if anyone hurts her, they deserve what’s coming. If he wants to do his part to make sure it doesn’t happen, maybe he should keep his brother from being a cheating bastard.

Friday night I have to work, so it’s a good thing Daria doesn’t have me on her spy roster. Lindsey and Daria come in, and we walk around the mall during my break. Daria goes to get us drinks while Lindsey and I sit on a bench and watch a group of college guys trying on hats and goofing around at a kiosk in the walkway.

“She needed a distraction,” Lindsey says, back to being the caring friend I know. “Something to take her mind off Colin.”

The night of the concert feels like it never happened, and I’ve pretty much convinced myself it was a drunken hallucination. Even if it wasn’t, everyone has a bad day now and then, and with all the stress Lindsey’s been under, she’s overdue for a few.

“What happens once she finds out, though?” I ask. “She’s going to have to deal with the knowledge that he was with someone else, even if she breaks them up.”

“We’ll have to be subtle, obviously,” Lindsey says, watching the guys with a thoughtful expression. “If she starts scaring girls away from Colin, he’s going to think she’s psycho and not want anything to do with her.”

“Damn, I hadn’t even thought of that,” I admit. “The problem is obviously him, though, and she’s not even working on that part.”

“It takes two,” she says. “But what she needs to do is start dating someone else to make him jealous and also to make him think she doesn’t care. That way she can destroy the competition without anyone suspecting her. Once she’s secured his attention by eliminating the other girl, she can walk around with a hot guy at school every day and makehimsee how it tastes for a while before she lets him win her back.”

“You are an evil genius,” I say. “Is there anything you don’t know about how to play the game?”

“Not really,” she says, looking quite pleased with the compliment. “I got the best guy in school, so obviously I know what I’m doing. Which is why you should always take my advice.”

“Too true,” I say. “You are obviously the queen.”

Lindsey beams. “Thank you.”

Daria joins us and hands Lindsey a huge cup of diet soda. “What’s up?” she asks, slurping her drink.

“Nothing,” I say. “I was just telling Lindsey that I shall forever and henceforth listen to her infinite wisdom.”

Daria giggles. “You’re so weird.”

I cringe internally. Weird is the last thing I want to be. I want to be normal and ordinary and pretty and bland andunnoticeable but also special enough for Lindsey to deem me worthy. I was trying to be cute and funny, not weird.

“So, what’s the deal with Elaine and Ian?” I ask, trying to salvage the conversation after my blunder.

“What do you mean? Did something happen?” Daria’s eyes fill with intrigue at the prospect of juicy gossip.

“No, I just didn’t picture her college guy as being… You know… Like that.”

“A nerd?” Daria laughs. “I told you he was Nate-point-two. But he’s older, so ten times better, obvi. I kinda think she started dating him just to fuck with Nate in the beginning. Like, he’s such an upgrade. Poor Nate.”

“But how did she landhim?” I ask, still not quite comprehending the softer side of Elaine I saw last weekend at the concert.

“That is the mystery of Elaine,” Daria says, shaking her head. “It happened last year. One day she’s stringing Todd along, and the next, she’s dating some senior from Willow Heights.”

“They make a perfect couple,” Lindsey says. “He’s smart enough for her, and he has all the ambition she does and then some. Did you know he’s a descendent from someone who came over on the Mayflower?”

“That’s an impressive pedigree,” I say, though I’m not sure why anyone cares about that except maybe a history teacher. But considering this town worships old money, it shouldn’t be surprising.

“She says she thinks he’sthe one,” Lindsey says, her voice so full of reverence you’d think she was saying he’s the Second Coming.

“But she cheats on him all the time,” I say, letting a teensy bit of bitterness creep into my voice. I’ve still not completely forgiven her for sleeping with Todd just to prove me wrong.Maybe that’s why Lindsey consulted me about the gift. If nothing else, I know a thing or two about cheating boyfriends.

“They have… An understanding,” Lindsey says, looking slightly uncomfortable.

“What she means is, they both get to fuck around while they’re doing the long-distance thing,” Daria says.

“And… That works?”