Page 11 of Claiming Ours
“Wow,” I mouthed.
He scoffed. “Yeah, tell me about it. It’s like she doesn’t give two shits that Aspen is happy.” The worry lines faded from his face as a goofy grin appeared. “Really, really happy in all the ways. Miles and I make sure of that.”
When Aiden waggled his brows suggestively, I giggled, grabbing a rag and chucking it at his face. He caught it midair before it could hit him.
“I donotwant to hear about that.” Turning, I prayed he didn’t catch the pink that highlighted my cheeks at his suggestive statement. Blowing out a slow breath, I pressed a hand to my stomach to calm the nausea the mix of heat and guilt triggered. “Well, I’m happy for you three.”
And I really was.
That wasn’t the lie.
Was I a little jealous? Sure, but it had nothing to do with them—well, not exactly. It was more about their ability to love and live so freely, unlike me. There wasn’t a day that passed that I didn’t wish the heavy baggage I carried wasn’t there so I could live a life unburdened of that constant weight. But then as soon as I wished that, more guilt would pile on, adding to the oppressive burden that sometimes prevented me from taking a full breath.
Miles, Aspen, and Aiden were allowed to be happy—everyone around me was—and I wanted that for them. But I had that easy laughter and soul-altering love once until it was ripped away. I wanted it again, but I wasn’t sure that was possible with how utterly broken I was on the inside.
“Baylee.”
I jolted, jumping a bit at Aiden’s shout.
Whirling around, I narrowed my eyes at the man who was staring at me with worry and concern.
Great, just what I need—more pity for the broken girl who can’t get her shit together.
“You’re all good to take her home. Tell Miles if he wants me to see her again next week and the week after that, you know I’m here Tuesdays and Thursdays, or I can swing by on my way home one day. It’s not like your place isn’t two cabins down from mine.”
“Come on, Baylee. Look at me.”
I tensed at his gentle tone. He rested a wide palm on my shoulder and squeezed, drawing my focused stare away from Jubie. His honey-brown eyes searched my face, a small frown out of place on his normally cheerful expression. “Don’t hide your sadness from me, or any of us. We’re here for you, always.”
My shoulders slumped as I nodded. Aiden was a good man, considerate, and had enough trauma in his own background that it wasn’t a surprise that he’d picked up on my sudden mood shift.
Grabbing Jubie’s chart, I clutched it against my chest, using it as a makeshift shield from the memories his concern dragged to the surface.
Do not cry, Baylee Smith. Do not fucking cry because your friend is being nice to you.
“Thanks, Aiden,” I rasped around the unshed tears burning down my throat. “But I’m… good. Promise.”
“Good,” he responded skeptically.
I shook my head, strands of long blonde hair sliding over my shoulders with the movement. “I’m….” I swallowed hard to clear the emotions clogging my throat. “I’m okay. Some days are worse than others, but I’m used to it at this point.” I offered him a shaky smile.
Placing both hands on my shoulders, he pulled me in for a brief hug before stepping back out of my personal space. Tipping my chin up, I focused my watery gaze on his sternum, not wanting him to see the tears I was barely holding at bay.
“And that’s normal, Baylee.” I blew out a trembling breath through pursed lips. “As long as you don’t let those bad days win and you keep fighting for the good ones. Because they’re coming. I know they are. You’re too good of a person for there not to be.”
I nodded, unable to look up. “I know,” I whispered. “And I’m trying. It’s just that all this going on with Liam is….” I couldn’t finish the sentence. How did I explain the jumbled mess myfeelings were around the amazing man, and feeling like I was cheating on my late fiancé? It was nonsensical, I knew that, but I couldn’t stop. I wanted Liam, desperately, but I felt guilty for that in the same breath. I loved our time together, but the sadness and anguish rushed back in afterward, filling me to the brim when he wasn’t there keeping it all away.
Aiden’s brows pulled in tight and both corners of his lips dipped. “Wait, Liam what? Did he fucking push you before you were ready for something? Make you uncomfortable?”
My blue eyes snapped up to Aiden at the anger shaking his tone. “What?” I gasped, shocked that he’d think that about my adorable cowboy. “No, that’s not?—”
“I will kick his ass.” I couldn’t help the snort that escaped. Aiden grimaced and nodded in agreement of my skepticism. “Right, he is a massive fucker who used to nearly kill people for a living.” His features turned thoughtful. “And I guess killed people for a living in the Army. Fine, Miles and I will attempt to kick his ass if he did anything to make you feel uncomfortable. We might need more volunteers, though.”
The corners of my lips pulled upward as I huffed a laugh at his ridiculous words.
“Ah,” he exclaimed and pointed at my face. “There’s a smile. No more tears, okay? They hurt my sensitive heart. Now, what were you saying about Liam?”
My lips parted, but no words would come out. This was not something I wanted to talk to Aiden about. This was girlfriend-level conversation.
