Page 14 of Claiming Ours
I dipped my chin in a hesitant nod. “I was terrified of it. My high school had one of the highest teen pregnancy rates in the state because there was literally nothing else to do on the weekend but hook up. I watched as too many girls my age had their dreams of getting out of our Podunk town shattered or altered because they got pregnant. I swore I wouldn’t end up like that, like my mom had. Sure, she’s happy with my dad, but I know she wanted more but couldn’t because she had a baby to take care of.”
“No matter the reason, you wanting to wait isn’t a bad thing, Baylee. Sounds like you were both on the same page, so what are you?—”
“Because he died,” I said, the hot tears I’d been holding back breaking free to leak down my cheeks. “Taking our future, that chance with him. Everything I had pushed aside, everything that should’ve taken priority, was ripped away from me. I never got a chance to have that intimacy with him, never got to sign his last name as mine, and as soon as all of that was taken away, I realized everything I’d poured my focus into didn’t actually matter. Not really, not as much as him. As us. Who gives a shit if I got out of our town, that I became a vet like I always dreamed. I don’t have him.”
Snatching a cocktail napkin from the center of the table, I used it to wipe my wet cheeks.
Amy squeezed my forearm, drawing my avoidant gaze to her. “I’m so glad you’re telling us all this, not keeping it in. We know you’re hurting,” she whispered. “But please know, you do still have a future that wasn’t taken away by his death. Sure, it might look different from the one you planned, but….” She bit her lower lip, as if debating her next words. “Dean’s gone.” I choked back a sob, pressing the napkin to my lips to quiet the sound. “But you’re not. Sweet girl, you still have a full life ahead of you.”
“I don’t know how to let go,” I admitted. “I don’t know if I want to let go of him.”
“Then don’t,” Aspen said, her own eyes glassy with unshed tears. “You don’t have to forget about him to keep living. He will always be a part of you, but do you really think he’d want you to be sad, to stop living because he isn’t here to live it with you?”
“No,” I rasped. “And I’m trying. I really am. You know how me and Liam are—” I waved a hand in the air. “—whatever we are. But what if I’m always this broken? What if I can’t move on?”
“Have you talked to him about any of this?” Juno asked. “What’s holding you back from going all in with him?”
I shot her a sheepish look. “No. I don’t want all this mess inside me, all my mixed-up emotions, to push him away.” That thought terrified me, that I’d make him realize I wasn’t worth the trouble as I worked through my shit. “And if I don’t open up, don’t let him get close, and things don’t work out, then I’ll still be okay because I never really let him in.” There was no way I could survive someone else leaving me if I allowed myself to let him in, to offer him a piece of me that not even Dean got.
“Girl, that man is head over heels into you,” Amy stated, smacking my arm to emphasize her point. “Talk to Liam. Nothing you say or do will push him away as long as you’rehonest about how you’re feeling and why. Just don’t freeze him out of everything that’s bothering you. You think that will protect you from getting hurt, but it’ll only make you lonely. He can’t support and help you if he doesn’t understand what you’re going through.”
Inhaling deeply, I nodded. Grabbing my beer, I finished it and gently set the empty glass back on the table. “That’s where you guys come in, why I called this emergency meeting. I think I’m ready to stop hiding from him. I just don’t know how to take that first step.”
I startled when Finley slapped both palms on the wooden surface, drawing all our attention as she stood. “Good thing you called us. We can figure it out together.” She glanced at Juno and winced. “Well, maybe you should’ve just called Aspen and Amy, since they’re the only two who know how to do the healthy-relationship shit. I’ll go get another round of shots and beers. I think we’ll need them.”
Despite it all, my lips curved upward as I watched my friend weave through the high-top tables, headed for the bar. Not sure how, but I already felt better. Lighter in my soul in a way I hadn’t in a long, long time.
Which meant maybe, just maybe, I wasn’t the lost cause I believed I was after all.
5
LIAM
Balancing the pan in one hand, I reached for the oven door only to freeze at a demanding knock at the front door of my cabin. Grumbling under my breath, I dropped the metal pan on the stovetop just as the door vibrated again from whoever pounded on the other side.
What the fuck?The heels of my boots slammed against the hardwood floor, my irritation rising with every step.
Whatever was going on better not mess with my night. Just thinking about Baylee’s text had the unease gnawing at my insides all over again. It had calmed down while I distracted myself by making dinner.
Hand wrapped around the metal handle, the smooth edges digging into my palm, I yanked the door open, lips parted to tell whoever was on the other side to fuck off, only for them to snap shut. Pretty sure yelling at your boss when he already looked irritated as hell wasn’t the best idea.
“Get your shit,” Brandon barked. Not waiting for my reply or giving further instructions, he turned on his heels and stormed down the porch steps.
“Fuck, give me a second,” I shouted, making him pause. He glanced over his shoulder with an arched brow. “I was in the middle of making dinner. I need to put it in the fridge so I don’t give us both fucking food poisoning later. What the hell is going on, and what shit do I need to bring?”
Turning to face me, he folded both thick arms over his chest and released an exasperated sigh to the cloudy sky. “Miles called me. Said we needed to get down to Dave’s right away. Apparently, our girls are there, hammered out of their minds from one too many duck fart shots. Fuck knows that was mine’s idea,” he grumbled under his breath, even though humor laced his tone.
It took a second for his words to register.
“Wait,ourgirls? Baylee is there, too, drunk?”
Brandon dipped his chin in acknowledgment.
My heart raced, knowing she was out there vulnerable and unprotected. Sure, Miles was there, but I wasn’t, and that wouldn’t do.
“What the hell? What are we doing standing around here for?”
Fuck the dinner I’d planned. I’d figure food out later. Right now, getting to Baylee and ensuring she was safe was all that mattered.
