Page 63 of Speak in Fever
"It is that simple, Percy. Not easy, but simple." He can hear the smile in her voice. "Love isn't about being perfect. It's about being honest, being present, being willing to grow together. You're good at commitment, sweetheart. You've been committed to hockey for your entire adult life. This is just committing to something else that matters to you."
Percy feels something tight in his chest start to loosen. "What if they want things I don't know how to give them?"
"Then you ask them to teach you, or you figure it out together. That's what partnerships are for." His mother pauses. "Percy, are you happy with this person?"
The question is simple, but the answer comes immediately and without hesitation. "Yes. Happier than I've ever been."
"Then that's your answer right there. Don't sabotage your own happiness because you're afraid of doing it wrong. Just... be present. Pay attention. Ask questions when you're confused. And remember that if this person chose to be with you, they must see something worth choosing."
After they hang up, Percy sits in his kitchen for a long time, turning his mother's words over in his head. Maybe she's right. Maybe he's been overthinking this, looking for problems that don't exist instead of appreciating what he has.
His phone buzzes with a text from Rath:Made dinner. Want to come over? Fair warning: it's probably terrible.
Percy finds himself smiling as he types back:On my way. Can't be worse than my leftover Thai food.
Challenge accepted,comes the immediate response, followed by a string of fire emojis that makes Percy laugh out loud.
Maybe his mother is right. Maybe it really is that simple.
Miles away, Rath is having his own complicated phone conversation.
"You sound different," Emma announces without preamble, five minutes into their weekly catch-up call.
"Different how?" Rath asks, settling deeper into his couch with the cup of tea that's become part of his Sunday night routine.
"I don't know. Lighter? Less wound up than usual. Are you actually getting enough sleep, or have you discovered some miracle cure for your chronic overthinker syndrome?"
Rath snorts. "I don't overthink."
"Oh, you definitely do. You’d spend twenty minutes picking out coffee beans if I let you."
"That was one time," Rath protests, though he's fighting a smile.
"Uh-huh. So what's different? New meditation practice? Better drugs? Did you finally take my advice about therapy?"
"I'm not on drugs, Emma."
"Then what? Because something's changed, and given that you've been playing the best hockey of your career, I'm assuming it's something good."
Rath considers how much to reveal. Emma is his closest family member, the person he's always been most honest with, but this situation with Percy feels too new, too fragile to put into words yet.
"Maybe I'm just settling into the team better," he says carefully. "Feeling more confident in my role."
“Oh my god.” Emma sounds gobsmacked. “Rath, are youseeing someone?”
Rath swallows thickly. "It's not... we're just seeing how things go. It's not serious."
"Oh my god, you have a boyfriend!" Emma's delight is audible through the phone. "Tell me everything. What's his name? How did you meet? Is he cute?"
"Emma, slow down." Rath laughs despite himself. "It's really not a big deal. We're just... figuring things out."
"'Figuring things out' is what people say when they’re afraid of commitment." Emma's voice carries the smugness of someone who's figured out a puzzle. "So who is it? Someone from the team?"
Rath's silence is apparently answer enough.
"Oh, this is even better than I thought. A hockey romance! Is he cute? Of course he's cute, you have excellent taste. Is he niceto you? Because if he's not nice to you, I will drive to Portland and have words with him, professional athlete or not."
"He's..." Rath pauses, trying to find words that won't reveal too much while still being honest. "He's incredible. Smart, dedicated, really good at what he does. And yes, he's nice to me. Really nice."
