Page 45 of Rocking the Receiver
Rupert
8 months later
The waftof a barbecue makes my stomach rumble. A look of approval washes over my freckled face at the female voice that can be heard from the stage. As expected on this early spring Saturday night, the place is packed, but the vibes are intact.
“Wow! Smells fantastic,” my best friend exclaims as soon as the door of The Rusty Spurs closes behind us, and we weave through the crowd in the direction of the quiet end bar that takes most of the left-hand side of the place.
“You ain’t seen nothing yet. You’re in for a treat… my treat, actually,” I confirm. “We should have done that way back. The two of us.” In great need of liquid courage, I can’t wait for the round of draft IPAs we ordered while I made small talk with Frank, the barely legal bartender; a nice, witty, and quirky kid. Strike that, he must be Elliot’s age, so definitely not a kid. With our backs to the door, we can see the stage better, and we can refrain from shouting and the risk of patrons eavesdropping.
When Elliot was released from the hospital, we preferred to take Elliot’s family to the Hand Wing. Tim’s been there a few times over the years, even before Elliot got drafted, and loves it. The Troopers go there a lot and even have a reserved space in the back; it’s not so secret nowadays, but at least, the whole team can gather in a somewhat private setting. A team that was completely unfazed by Elliot’s revelation, well, the sexual orientation part, but they demanded to meet me; apparently, some of them were huge fans!
As for Elliot’s family, they took the news well, but Elliot’s health took priority, and we didn’t give them time to question further, giving them space to process it instead. Needless to say that at first, they didn’t fully grasp what it meant for their son, being such a rising public figure, to share his life with a somewhat famous artist like myself.
For now, Caitlin Cole confirmed that nothing’s leaked to the media. Who’d care about two friends spending some time together? But you can never be too careful. That’s why Caitlin gave us some clever advice to remain under the radar. Granted, Elliot and I reached an agreement, so it won’t be long before word gets out.
Two worlds colliding, and as soon as it becomes public, we trust social media to spread the news like wildfire, at least enough to make us the flavor of the week. So, we had to prepare both of our families for the aftermath.
Our drinks land on the counter in no time, then discreet Frank scurries away. The staff here is as friendly as the food is amazing, and I’m not saying that because I’m a regular. It’s just their trademark.
This particular bar has become one of our favorites to hang out and lay low, that is when I’m not performing here. It’s also where I bumped into Elliot and his college teammates a while back, and that Dillard guy, who’s a huge fan. After my performance that night, Dillard asked for an autograph and introduced me to the team, including Elliot, who eventually blurted out that we were actually friends—not a total lie—and others complained that he kept that a secret. All the while, Elliot and I did our best to plaster poker faces on, mutely sharing our amusement.
Much later that night, I (finally) caved, making him 100% gay, aka I topped, which was a first for both of us. Satisfied, I grinned when a sweaty, sore, and sated Elliot confirmed that it didn’t compare with finger-fucking and suggested that we should do it more often if I was on board with it. I am, on occasion. I love everything with him. Everything… and I didn’t even blink when he brought toys in the mix. Versatility became our new normal. He asserts that I’m the reason for his insatiable sex drive. I’m flattered, but believe it has more to do with finding an outlet for his career-related stress. Either way, I couldn’t be happier.
I scold my dirty mind for drifting to sex with Elliot while I’m around his older brother. “I’m sorry,” I add sheepishly, staring at my beer. Not sure if I’m apologizing for my thoughts or my silence.
“There’s no need to be sorry, my friend. I get it. We all have our lives, and pushing you was never the idea. Cheers!” Tim’s brown eyes follow my every move. I can tell that he’s been waiting for the right opening for the long overdue heart-to-heart since Elliot broke the news about our relationship. But then again, last time my best friend was here, his brother was in the hospital, so the attention was focused on Elliot’s recovery. This is Tim’s first time back.
“Cheers. I’m happy you’re here,mate.”Oops, British English. It’s been a while…
We clink our glasses to the long overdue reunion.
Tim purses his lips. “Listen, I’m really glad that business brought me back here. Can’t believe you live in Texas now! When music took the forefront after your modeling career, I told you I was surprised you chose country music… Not quite Brit pop or punk!” We chuckle at that. “Well, The Barrels and some of your other collabs are more country rock, but still… Texas suits you.”
“Thanks, Tim. I missed you, man. It’s been ages since we had the opportunity to see each other… just us, I mean.” Well, in a bit, we’ll be joined by Elliot and Chris, his former teammate and roommate and current best friend.
“Indeed.” He takes a sip of his IPA and looks me straight in the eye. “I missed you, too… along missing out on quite a few developments.” After we parted ways last time, things were up in the air. Nobody in the Lefevre family asked questions or had a clue about how Elliot and I became a thing. It must be why I hear a hint of pain in his voice, unless I’m imagining it. “What I just said about Texas, I also meant that my brother suits you. I’ve never seen you look happier.”
See what I was saying?
“Thanks, I really appreciate the support and, yes, I am very happy.”
“Good for you… One thing’s nagging me, though…” He hesitates. “My mind’s been reeling. I want to make sure that our friendship is solid, and I’m honestly not sure it is.”
“It’s all my fault…” I avert my gaze, trying to find inspiration in my glass. I eventually add, “I like that you don’t waste time skirting around… issues, though. I’ve done that for too long.”
“Your secrets were never an issue. At least, not to me, Rupert.” Yeah, that’s the whole point; my secrets have beenmyown issues all along. “I’m surprised you think this is about me, though. I don’t blame you… I mean, I was hurt you kept a big part of your life from me, but my ego quickly recovered.” He stops and takes a long pull of his beer. “If you insist, we can play Twenty Questions,” he taunts. “I don’t want to pry, you know that… if you don’t feel comfortable with this conversation… It’s not my business anyway.” He downs what’s left of his beverage.
“Listen, this one-on-one,” I point my index finger between us before mimicking him, “It’s about time… Elliot said he wanted you and me to have a chance to discuss things first before broaching the subject with you. As for the years of silence on my part, well… guess I was a coward, and after Elliot’s coming out, I convinced myself that talking to you in person would be best… a few more months wouldn’t make much difference, you know. But to be honest, I was buying myself time… again. I was worried you’d blame me and end our friendship.”
“Blame you?” His voice sounds high-pitched for once. “Was I ever your enemy?”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. Why don’t we start over, huh?” He juts his head forward, and I explain, “I’m just… tense is all. To this day, I don’t really talk about my sexual orientation. I never wanted it to define me. Of course, it’s part of who I am, like being an introvert, a redhead, and a musician, you know. I wish it would be a random fact. Even the idea of coming out is unnerving to me. Can you imagine actuallyconfessing,” I emphasize the word, “or formally announcing to your parents,loved ones, and fans that you’re straight? Sounds silly, doesn’t it?”
Sighing, I shake my head and flag down Frank to order another round and some mozzarella sticks out of reflex. It won’t ruin my appetite anyway. “Loving who you love matters. But it should only matter toyoubecause it’syourlife. It’s not a choice, so it shouldn’t matter to others. The thing is… when you’re gay, it does. It’s just not fair...” I trail off, taking a pull of my fresh beer, then lick the foam from my top lip with the tip of my tongue. “Are you gonna ask me why then?”
“Why what?” He eyes the appetizer, patiently waiting.
“You knowwhat?” I snatch one, burning my fingertips, but munch on it anyway. “Why didn’t I confide in you about being gay?”
