Page 30 of Oh Boy!
Sally
“Oh, my God! This is so cool!” Doing a happy dance in my living room, I clap my hands. “I’ve always dreamt of going back to Paris!” My voice is so high-pitched that I barely recognize it. Releasing Nathan from my embrace, I drop onto the leather couch and giggle at the resulting squeak. Maybe I should blame it on the French wine that he brought; the half-empty bottle rests on the coffee table.
Nathan’s intense eyes glitter with something that I can’t place.
Leonard Cohen’s voice is dwarfed by my pulse thundering in my head along with the rush of questions that his unexpected behavior provokes. I shiver from the instant cold that seizes my heart; I grab my knees and squeeze them to my chest so tightly that I can barely breathe.
Am I overreacting?
I eventually stammer, “Nathan?” That’s all I have in me.
“I’m sorry.” His usually smooth voice has an edge to it that increases my discomfort. Talk about whiplash!
“What are you talking about?” I rock back and forth to calm my fraying nerves. “Why are you sorry?”
“I think you misunderstood. I said, ‘I have great news: An awesome start to the year with two weeks in Paris. International conference, all expenses paid, courtesy of Kitty.’ It’s a huge deal. I’m lucky she invited me. She’s been one of my muses for years.”What?He rushes around the coffee table and squats beside the couch to face me. His tone is calmer when he adds, stroking my thigh over my jeans, “It’s going to take my career to the next level… but it’s work, not a vacation.”
My heart lurches, and I close my eyes to register what just happened. I’m so stupid! So damn stupid! So fucking stupid! For getting ahead of myself with this. With him. With us.
“Babe, look at me.” His syrupy voice gets under my skin. His poisonous touch on my calves irritates me. His halting breathing exasperates me. “Open your eyes, Sally, please. Don’t be like that.”
I freeze. Kitty. This name again. Don’t be like that. These words again. I misunderstood. This situation again. I can’t deal with this right now. I can’t breathe properly with the lump in my throat. I can’t allow any of this ever again; no one has the right to tell me how I should or shouldn’t be. I am who I am. Period.
My eyes pop open. I look at the floor while catching my breath, blinking back tears, the dam threatening to burst any second.
Be strong. You know how to be strong. You’ve learned how to be strong.
I glare at him, running my hands through my hair. My voice doesn’t falter this time. “I think you should go.”
“I’m not going anywhere, Sally. At least not until you tell me what’s going on in that head of yours. Please talk to me.” As much as I’d like to ask him to remove his filthy hands from me, I don’t. His caresses continue, and my shuddering intensifies. Everything went south so fast. “I thought you’d be happy for me. It’s okay, babe. We’re okay. It’s just a misunderstanding.”
My lips tremble and my jaw clenches. We stay in this position for what seems like an eternity. Frozen in time.
“Sally, come on!” he insists.
Tired, I sigh. “You’re right, I misunderstood. I… I thought we’d go together, you know, as a couple. Paris is the most romantic city in the world, and you’re basically informing me that you’d rather go without me,” I deadpan. Calm. Collected. Crushed.
Maybe we were never a couple after all…
“You’re getting this all wrong. I’m taking up an offer that I can’t refuse. It has nothing to do with us. Paris won’t disappear, you know.”
“That’s the problem: It has nothing to do with us! Just when I’m moving to Australia early next year? That is, if everything goes according to plan…” I stretch my legs when a pins and needles feeling takes over, adding some distance between us. Without a word, he rocks backwards, landing on his sumptuous ass and wincing when his back hits the coffee table. Still facing me, he sits cross-legged on the hardwood floor. I let the words ricochet inside my busy head and conclude, “My work visa has been extended, and my boss confirmed that everything was under control… if he calls back, that is. When did you say you were going? I’m sure that I can work something out and meet you in France.”
“I know you’re moving away, babe. We discussed it plenty of times, and you should be excited about it. I’m excited for you.” Damn, I hate when people tell me how to feel! “It won’t be an issue; my trip is scheduled two weeks after you land in Karratha.” My departure remains surreal to me; who would have thought that I’d put my marine archeology skills to use in the Dampier Archipelago, the oldest underwater site in Australia? “That’s why I didn’t offer for you to tag along, babe. You and I both know what this job means to you. I may be a self-centered prick, but I’d never jeopardize your future.”
I scrunch my nose, inwardly questioning his reasoning. “But I just told you that Australia mightnothappen at all.”
“Are you kidding me? There is no way they’ll retract the offer. Plus, this trip is right after you get there! No way. Not to mention that I’ll be working like a dog. Even if you could make it, we wouldn’t see each other that much. Last time I talked to Kitty, she mentioned that she has a super crammed schedule for us, with TV interviews and the whole shebang.” Pride is written on his breathtaking face.
Kitty this. Kitty that. Why can’t he just stop already? I guess that I’m not as trusting as I thought I was; are all men conniving or am I a magnet to this special brand?
Obviously, I can’t compete with an international calligrapher who’s at the top of her game. His silence on the ride back from New Hope makes total sense now; my potential departure gave him the perfect excuse to leave me behind.
If he says we should stay friends, I’ll punch him in his pretty face! Jerk! And it goes without saying that friendship doesn’t work when sex is part of the equation. That’s why things with Rupert were so perfect.
What’s that quote again? Oh, right! Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Nathan Price is no different than the other men who have wronged me.
Cold sweat runs down my spine, and I shiver at the realization of what Nathan unabashedly stated. Nathan doesn’t want me but won’t admit it to himself. He used me.
