Page 16 of Oh Boy!
Sally
“Of course, you should text him. I’m shocked that you haven’t done it already. Weren’t you the one to insist that there’s more to him than his looks… which, by the way, is exactly what I said about you when we met in London years ago!” Rupert’s shoulder bumps into mine playfully. Unfazed, his eyes are still trained on the task at hand, and he continues slicing the cucumber that’ll top our mixed salad for lunch.
I stop rinsing the last ripe tomato and turn off the faucet in our small Chelsea kitchen. His dexterous fingers making efficient work of the ingredient with his Japanese knives is definitely an erotic sight and not because I’m lacking erotic in my life.
I heave a contented sigh. No wonder switching from supermodel to top guitarist wasn’t a challenge. I push the tomato towards the cutting board for his attention and let my busy mind drift. The fact that he learned to play at an early age surely assisted the somewhat easy transition. And to think that Hardy randomly came across him while browsing SoundCloud and was moved by Rupert’s shaky voice as he poured his heart into lyrics that I inspired. Hardy felt it had a country vibe, although Rupert had selected his electric guitar and elicited an English punk influence to embody the rage that I was feeling at the time. His presence, music, and energy started the arduous process of reconstructing my broken life
“You’re staring.”
I blink back unwanted tears when a hint of the British accent that he fights so hard to suppress surfaces, as is often the case when we get emotional. “Yup!” A small smile tugs at my lips. “You know how I get when your fingers are at work.”
Putting the knife away, he arranges the paper-thin slices on top of the green salad and tosses a diced red pepper in the giant bowl. His attention lands on me as soon as he’s done flipping the sizzling Indian-spiced chicken breasts in the pan. “Is our new friend responsible for the innuendo?”
The heat in my cheeks betrays my embarrassment, which I try to control by inhaling deeply, welcoming the increasingly mouth-watering smell of the cooking meat. Whenever I’m between assignments, I tend to work out more, increasing my appetite. Only a new hunger has recently awakened. One that I’ve suppressed from my life.
Rupert and I have been together for so long that he knows me like the back of his hand. “Maaaaybe.” I chuckle at that, drying my hands with a nearby towel.
He shrugs. “You never used to allude to sex-related things so casually.” Plating the chicken, he shoots me a sideway glance. “You’ve done that a couple of times since we’ve been back in New York.” His deadpan tone makes me second-guess myself. He pauses, giving me time to absorb the suddenly less casual convo. I’m too dumbstruck with its unexpected turn to partake in the preparation of the ever-expanding salad. In turn, Rupert sprinkles chopped fresh parsley and a handful of pumpkin seeds on it and eventually says, “Yes, you’ve done it several times in only two days. It’s cute that you didn’t notice. If you must know, I find it endearing.”
“Cute? Endearing? Since when am I either?”
Forgetting our lunch on the kitchen counter for a minute, Rupert engulfs me into a warm hug, although he’s not prone to PDA. I feel so small in his powerful arms. I’m afraid to read between the lines of this conversation.
His hand cups the back of my head as his mouth grazes my hair, my soothing balm. “My guess is that the very lush Nathan Price is turning you on, isn’t he?” He takes a step back and pins me with his stare.
“He probably is. Turning me on, I mean.” I rub my palms against my denim, my eyes on my feet.
“Don’t forget shaggable, bangable, or fuckable… Whatever you want to call him. No shame in that, right?”
“Who cares?” My bare foot taps the lower cabinet behind me. “He said he wants to be friends. I think it’s better that way, don’t you?” The pitch of my voice gives me away.
“Oh, bollocks!” He runs his hand across his practically shaved head; not your typical country man... One of many ways that he stands out. “Who are you trying to convince here? I don’t buy it!” He growls. “I saw the heat in his eyes when he looked at you, and considering what you just said, I’d have to disagree. It’snotbetter.” His voice lowers, showing that he means business. “You and I both know why he didn’t make a move.” I raise my eyes to him and roll them. “I saw that,” he adds, amused.
“Ha-ha!”
Once he’s cleared his throat, his voice turns serious. “It’s not like you need my permission to give him a try.”
My front teeth worry my lower lip. Eventually, I speak my mind. “I kind of feel like I do.”
“But why? I’d totally shag Price if he were into guys, which he obviously isn’t. Trust me, my gaydar is pretty accurate.”
“I know we’re not a couple and all, but I love you nonetheless…. And we have this… agreement.”
“I’m well-aware of that, but don’t stay stuck in thisagreementon my account. Sometimes, I feel like I’ve trapped you in something that’s stopping you from moving on with your life.” He tilts his head and pecks my cheek. “Sally, I’m not blind. I saw the sparks between you guys. You are ready to move on, and if you need my blessing, you have it. I mean, I’m thankful for ouragreementwhile it lasted, but looking back, it was utterly selfish of me; I apologize for it. Keeping fans and journalists at bay has been great. It’s nobody’s business that I enjoy sucking cocks more than you do.” The second the words leave his mouth, he purses his lips, his eyes big as saucers. “I’m sorry, I got carried away at the thought of blowing Price, which isn’t in the cards for me.”
“It’s fine, Rupert. We’re way past that, aren’t we? It’s not your fault sex has been off the table for me for years. You didn’t trap me. Our agreement was a mutual win-win situation. If anything, you helped me recover from the…” My throat constricts. My eyes water. My chest tightens. What happened years ago still affects me. Damn Dr. Alexander McIntire is a shameless practitioner. An unethical shrink. A despicable man. So much for the Hippocratic Oath! After I eventually spilled the beans about the charlatan that fueled my anxiety and intimacy issues, Rupert tried to convince me to file a lawsuit. I couldn’t bring myself to do it. It hadsimplybeen too long. It hadonlybeen mind games. It hadn’ttechnicallybeen rape, but my scars haven’t healed yet.
I was his patient, dammit! The “good doctor” manipulated me—the patient he was being paid tohelp—and tricked me into believing that we were in a relationship. Young, clueless, and gullible, I stupidly caved. He used me. He degraded me. He belittled me… and then claimed that I’d made it all up. After all of these years, my mind and body are still on lockdown as far as men are concerned.
Aside from Rupert, I haven’t told a soul about the episode or how it killed my libido. That is until a famous calligrapher somehow reignited sensations I can’t allow to resurface. Avoiding men altogether is easier than having to deal with the whirlwind of conflicted feelings and potential hurt.
Rupert pats my bicep. “Look, maybe Nathan is your chance to get back on the horse. So far, he’s been nothing but a gentleman, right?” I nod, about to reply that assumptions can be painfully wrong, but he beats me to it. “You’re a smart, beautiful young woman. Now’s the time to experience life to the fullest, not sit back and watch it happen. You needed time to heal; I needed time to… whatever…” He clears his throat, then challenges me. “Anyway, martial arts have helped you reclaim your power. Express that power, girl!”
“Girl power,” I tease, unconvinced, flexing my biceps to prove my strength.
“Right… But I’m also talking about sex! Abstinence is fine if it’s what you fancy. Deep down, this is not what you want, Sally. You know nothing of his intentions. Long-term, short-term, only you two can decide where things will lead. No need to rush into it, but no need to stayfrozenin place.” I grumble at how carefully he chose the one word that would make it stick. Yeah, I’m done with the deep freeze! “Rebuild your confidence. Learn to trust again. Have earthshattering orgasms!” My ears perk up; he’s right. “I should take my own advice…” Thoughtful, he shakes his head. “Nah, I have plenty of orgasms. Thank heavens, willing candidates are queuing up. Making sure they don’t run in country music circles is the trick! Anyway, enough about me…” His intense gaze strips me bare. “I love you with all my heart, but we belong together as friends; Nathan should know that. I’ll always be there for you, but we can’t continue this charade. You are ready to move on, and I should have seen it earlier. This isn’t healthy for either of us anymore.” His brow spikes up.
His statement makes my entire body shake, and my defense mechanism kicks in. “You’re wondering if my virginity grew back, aren’t you?” I wink, gauging his reaction to my pitiful comeback.
