Page 23 of This or That
Within two strides, the man that’s been front and center in my thoughts and dreams stands in front of me. Ohhh, so close! My breath hitches as his familiar scent returns, igniting my craving like none before him.
His heavy lidded eyes strip me bare while his thumb caresses my stubbled cheek.
Well, fuck me!Oops, figure of speech. Am I up to the challenge that I bragged about earlier? Maybe, maybe not. Not yet… I’m so screwed. Damned English language!
“I’ve missed you.” His sensual lips tease my parted ones. “I’ve missed this.” Next, the tip of his tongue traces the contours of my mouth. This gesture alone makes my cock throb, and I melt into him, getting reacquainted with us and splaying my hand on his gorgeous ass to bridge the unbearable distance between us. “I’ve missed us.” He claims my mouth in the softest kiss that I’ve ever received. Unfortunately, he breaks it too soon, so I rub our semis together. “It’s okay to be nervous, Mike.” His breathing becomes ragged. I fucking love how I affect him. “The rules we established stand; let’s take this one step at a time.” His fingers wander to my hair. Scalding heat spreads across my skin. “If there’s something you wanna try, let me know. I want to make this… journey good for you. I’d rather you voice it so there’s no confusion.”
“Thank you. I’m not afraid, you know…” I kiss him briefly. “But my bravery might have… limits. Honestly, I want it. I really do. It took some getting used to, but I’m over pretending that I’m solely into women.” My breath seizes in my throat. “And you were right, by the way; gay porn was an epiphany. To be honest, I never imagined getting so turned on by watching guys fuck.” I chuckle at my admission. “I mean, some of the first clips I found were pretty gross, which happens. Then, I unearthed what both of my heads enjoyed.”
“Good! Let me know how I can make this a reality if that’s what you want.”
I mouth a silent thank you, my hungry eyes doing the rest of the talking. “I want this to be good for both of us. I’m concerned about my lack of experience—”
“Don’t! One step at a time, remember?” He makes quick work of our buttons and zippers. Our pants fly, and our T-shirts are next. Standing there in boxer briefs doesn’t faze me. I want more. My eyes flicker, and I notice things about Cowboy Troy that I normally wouldn’t when looking at a dude. The way his enticing cologne mixes with his masculine scent and fills the room. The way his biceps flex in an appealing way that makes my tongue impatient to lick his skin. The way his full mouth is so well-defined that I can’t wait to have it wrapped around my shaft again. I shouldn’t be noticing that, but I do and I’m okay with it. “I’m right where I want to be with a man that I can’t get enough of.” His last words are strangled, and I kiss his temple, pleased that he’s as overwhelmed as I am. “You mentioned a shower… Care to join me?” His brow arches.
Should I let him know that abstaining hadn’t occurred to me?
After confirming that the temperature is to my taste, we’re both naked in my giant walk-in shower, making out under the scalding spray. The room is steamy in more ways than one, but I will myself to keep my eyes open no matter what, spellbound by the deep and passionate strokes that we exchange while continuing to grind our erections together.
“Let me get you cleaned up,” I suggest, eventually breaking the kiss. With some shower gel in my hand, I kneel before the man who stands with his back inches from the wall, as if he might need support any minute. The man who elicits newfound desires. The man who’s sexy as hell and lights a fire in me that has nothing to do with the water temperature. “It’s about time I show you how on board I am with us.” Ignoring the water splashing down my back, I am pleased to spot a mischievous grin on his gorgeous face.
With his hands splayed on the shower wall behind him, he gives me free rein to touch him however I want. I take great care of every inch of his skin. Running my fingers between his toes, which makes him fidget. Massaging his toned calves. Kneading his firm ass. I stand to carry on with my ministrations. He giggles when my fingers tickle his armpits. This is easy. Don’t get me wrong, I touched him all over on the boat, but this has a new meaning and we both know it.
There’s no turning back now. My body grows needy. My mind turns filthy. My hand ventures purposefully. Our chests are almost pressed together, and I’m pretty sure he senses the thumping of my heart, as I do his. At once, I grip his length, and when I start stroking him, he drops his head back and groans. Seeing him react like this makes my heart rate soar. Troy takes a step back, his upper body hitting the wall, and he slants his hips so that my other hand can stay on his butt.
Alternatively glancing at my hand tightening its hold on his manhood and my lingering eyes, he clears his throat. “So. Good.” I jack him slowly to make it last longer, my thumb rubbing the head teasingly from time to time. He writhes under my touch, and I savor it. I don’t want this to end.
“It is… for me, too.” In a swift move, my own junk joins the party and I jack us, my eyes expressing everything that I’m not yet ready to voice. His strangled moans boost my ego. I lean into him, sharing what I’m able to for now. “Why I waited so long to touch your cock is beyond me. I have a cock, and touching it is not an issue. I have a cock, and I would have gone ballistic if any of the women I was with had been hesitant to take care of it. I have a cock, and yours feels right in my hand.”
He tenses, then croaks out a curse when his release spurts in my wet hand. I follow him shortly after, aroused by how tantalizing I find our masculine pleasure mixed together.
“Hell, yeah!”
Chapter 15
Death of Me
Troy
“Ican’t believe I’m meeting you in person. It’s so surreal!” the dark-haired guy exclaims, patting my bicep over my denim jacket, then glancing at Mike in awe. Standing in the entryway, I watch the people dancing, drinking, and munching. Matteo scolded Mike for being late, making Mike’s cheeks turn beet red; of course, I put a sock in it.
The sheer size of the penthouse makes the crowd appear smaller than it actually is. Matteo bites the corner of his mouth, then acknowledges that he’s been a fan ever since my sound took off on SoundCloud. “I mean, I saw you live at sea, but you’re here!” His hands land above my elbow and shake me, as if trying to prevent my disappearance. “This is a completely different… experiment.”
Experiment… His accent is subtle, but betrays his Italian heritage. Yet, his choice of words is more fitting when applied to Mike and me.
Mike wants me. He’s divulged as much, although he’s never wanted a man before. Mike wants me. He’s shown as much, although I have to stay his dirty little secret despite touching in ways that would be inconceivable for a straight man. Mike wants me. He’s proven as much, although I might only be a temporary experiment. Yeah, for all I know, that’s all that I am and ever will be. I involuntarily triggered something in Mike in Paris. Lusting over guys when he believed himself to be straight? Indulging in his curiosity to give guys a try? Pushing self-imposed boundaries with guys? I’m far from complaining, but being introduced as Mike’s new friend rankled me… especially when Mike’s knuckles brush mine. Beyond his control, I believe. Can’t be his form of a silent apology, right?
Why do I sound like Anna’s Psych 101 analysis all of a sudden? Why am I so annoyed? Why would he make it official when we’re not in a relationship and haven’t discussed it? I tend to keep my sexual orientation under wraps because it’s not anyone’s business. But this isn’t my sexual orientation; this is about Mike and me.
Fuck, why am I overthinking this? This isn’t like me at all. Overthinking is what took me so long to embrace my attraction to both genders. Overthinking is what made me feel guilty when I jammed my tongue into another boy’s mouth. Overthinking is what led me to question who I really am. What a waste of time! I’ve been called a lot of ugly names in my life, but none were as vile as the labels that I imposed on myself… until I eventually came to terms with who I am. We only have one life after all, and it was about time that I stopped wasting mine.
“Nice to meet you, too.” I offer my most convincing “nice guy” smile to Mike’s best friend, who gestures at a brunette who could be a Victoria’s Secret Angel to join us. “And this is my lovely wife, Luana.” We make small talk, and I eventually deduce the origin of her own accent. I’d almost forgotten why Mike was on the Brazil-bound ship in May. “Congratulations, guys… and happy birthday, Matteo!”
I tune them out while they talk about this and that, nodding and smiling at times. It’s not Matteo’s fault that Mike’s uncomfortable with labeling what’s going on between us. My teeth clench at the word. At least, I hope he’s not… ashamed. My fists curl into a ball, my nails digging into my palms.
Chill out, man, it’s barely been six weeks, and you’ve been out-of-town half the time. He wouldn’t have invited you tonight if he were ashamed,the angel on my shoulder reassures me.
But didn’t Mike say that he was okay with our situation? Then why hasn’t he gone down on you like he said he would at the airport?
