Page 4 of This or That
Stuffing the pastry into my mouth as a delay tactic, I gulp it in two bites. “What do you mean?” It’s my turn to lick my lips so that I don’t waste any of the delicious Nutella. What I’m not telling her is that I’ll work out twice as hard as soon as I get back to my place, near Bastille, another area that’s popular with the younger crowd, thanks to its number of popular bars.
“Oh, please, Troy. You know exactly what I mean...” Her body leans across the table, and she whispers, “Or rather,who!” Her hand finds the top of my messy dark copper curls and ruffles them.
When she withdraws her hand and focuses on her food, I pick at my cuticle, unsure of what she expects me to say. “Listen, I really think that there’s nothing left to say. That jerk at the club scared you, although I would never have guessed his behavior would have such an impact on you. You asked me to drive you back home like you do whenever you don’t want to be alone. I spent the night like I do whenever you ask me to. We fucked like we do whenever we feel like it. End of story.” With that, my eyes go back to the task at hand, and I concentrate on the remainder of my now cold spinach omelet.
“I’m well aware of those facts. I was there, remember?” She makes atssknoise to underline her disapproval. “As I am of our friends with benefits agreement… and thank you for scratching my itch, by the way.” She giggles. “It was very… pleasurable.”
“In case I wasn’t noisy enough, the pleasure was mutual, Anna.” I clean up most of what’s left on my plate.
Yeah, it’s too bad that she’s not my type and vice-versa. It would make things so much easier for both of us. I wouldn’t have to play the part of the fake boyfriend whenever her parents are around, for one, simply because they can’t comprehend why she’s still single. Apparently, her mom—also a model, back in the day—had no difficulties with her bank account or with finding “appropriate” suitors from which to choose a husband. Anna’s not that lucky, so she works at the club to make ends meet but keeps it a secret. As far as men are concerned, she’s unwilling to tie the knot with a wealthy guy who’s solely after her appearance. That’s how I ended up in the picture. But then again, I’m not looking for a relationship right now. I love my freedom too damn much. Thank God, Anna and I both know where the other stands.
I feel the weight of her gaze and look her way. Figuring out what’s on her mind isn’t rocket science, so I stop toying with her. She’s a good friend and I have no intention of ruffling her feathers.
I make a point to not stare at her when I ask, “Kissing that guy is what’s bothering you, right?”
“You bet!”
I take a bite and chew slowly to give me a moment to think, toying with my food rather than finishing it. My eyes were bigger than my stomach. Leaning back in my chair, I wait with a smirk on my face.
“What got into you? Why did you do that?” The fact that she can’t even say it aloud speaks volumes. At once, I can’t help but wonder if she’s happy that I interrupted her misfortune, disgusted that I sucked face with a stranger, or aroused because the stranger happened to be a very fuckable guy.
“Would you rather…” I chuckle at one of my favorite expressions. “Would you rather,”— I repeat, my tone more assertive this time—“nail a random hot chick or screw your father’s best friend?”
“What does that have to do with anything?” Asking this, she can’t help but smile, well aware of my favorite game.
“So, hot girl or Dad’s friend? Which is it? This or that?”
“That.” She lets out a throaty chortle, and her eyes get a faraway look as she contemplates the idea. I don’t have time to inquire further. “I guess.” She trails off, obviously perplexed as to where this is heading. A sip of tea later, she confirms, fidgeting in her seat, “I’m into guys, so sex with a girl is out of the question for me.”
I raise my brows. “I never specified the aforementioned best friend’s gender, mind you. I did say ‘hot chick,’ though.”
“Look, I know some friends who kissed a girl like it was a rite of passage. That’s simply not me. I need to be attracted to the person, and women don’t do it for me.” Her tone is matter-of-fact and way too serious for my taste.
I shoot her a quizzical look. “It’s a game, Anna. There’s no need to be so square.”
“I may be boring according to your standards, but I repeat: hot or not, trust me, I’d rather bang my dad’s buddy... The fact that he’s a real person shows that your ridiculous game is biased, as always, my friend!”
Rather than reassure her that she isn’t boring in bed, I stick out my tongue.
“Ha-ha, that’s mature of you, Troy.” She swats my hand like a scolding mother, then winks, a mischievous glimmer in her blue eyes. “And don’t think that I haven’t noticed your lame attempt to ditch my question.”
“I’m really not. That’s the whole point of my this or that question, to clue you in to what got into me yesterday. Apart from saving your virtue, that is, since I’m well aware that you’re a big girl and can handle yourself just fine.”
“Carry on, I’m intrigued.” Her elbows land on the wooden table while her hands support the weight of her overthinking head. She coughs lightly, then adds, “Actually, what I’m curious about is the fact that you kissedaguy…him… so… passionately. Believe me, everyone in that room was turned-on!”
A devilish roar of laughter follows. I’m pleased that the kiss had the expected effect, but I need her to realize that it was more than an impulsive gesture. “What got into me last night wasthis.” Air quote again. “In other words, I’d pick nailing a willing hunk anytime.” I plaster the most innocent smile on my not so angelic face.Thisis my answer to thethis or thatquestion.Thisis why I didn’t think before acting last night.Thisis where we differ. “Also, I would avoid my parents and their toxic friends like the plague, as you know.” Not long after Anna and I clicked, I confessed that I’d been raised by my dad’s younger sister for most of my teenage years and left Texas the first chance I got. Only I didn’t disclose the reason why I’d been kicked out of their house. Became nonexistent to them. Cut out of their will. That’s no one’s business.
Anna’s eyes linger on our joined hands, and she offers a sheepish smile.
“No need to be sorry, Anna. I was the moron who brought them up in our little game.” The palm of my free hand strikes my forehead. “Duh!” Once my hand is back on the table, I joke, “Anyway, what I meant to say was that kissing him to demonstrate that unsolicited attention isn’t welcome was too damn tempting. Maybe I was secretly hoping that it would unlock our own private Magic Mike show!” I wiggle my eyebrows, and we both chortle at that. The guy sure looked like Channing Tatum, so it would’ve been fitting.
Soon after, Anna’s jaw drops so low, it’s almost comical. It takes a minute for her to process that tidbit.
“The jackass needed to have a taste of his own medicine!” I declare between gritted teeth as my heart races. “So, yeah, I shamelessly kissed the sexy bastard.” I hesitate before disclosing a troubling fact. “The perk was that it was a damn good kiss.” I heave a happy sigh when I think back to the sensation of his mouth on mine. Goosebumps appear, and I’m glad that my clothes hide my reaction. “And must I remind you that, to my utter surprise, he gave in without much of a fight? It’s obvious that he enjoyed it.” I pause, willing my mind to stop fantasizing about what it could have been, but won’t ever be. Still, I can’t help concluding, “A damn good kiss that felt like an appetizer to revenge sex!”
Anna’s brows knit in confusion. “You’re… you’re…” She can’t finish her sentence, and her hold on my hand loosens. I need to come clean. I probably should have disclosed this information before we engaged in any kind of relationship beyond friendship. I’m reluctant because, to me, it doesn’t make a difference. I hope it’ll be the same for her; I do care for her. My throat constricts as I utter the word that my narrow-minded family never understood, causing so much drama.
“Bi.”
