Page 33 of This or That
Chapter 21
My Guy
Mike
As soon as the waiter from the cozy but noisy Meatball Shop in Chelsea sets Matteo’s appetizing eggplant sandwich in front of him, he gets to work, licking the sauce from his lips with appreciative noises. Mundane conversation unfolds. His prominent New York job. My mom’s long-term stay at my place. Our happy memories from way back when. His overly talkative mood confirms that he’s waiting for the right moment to broachthesubject. Since Ella dumped me, I kept test-driving women to find a suitable replacement. After Troy kissed me, I kept adding meaningless notches to my bedpost in the hope that they’d clear up my confusion. Now, things have changed; I avoided the truth until I was willing to welcome Troy into my life. Who needs a replacement when you meet that special someone, right?
Wow, I’m such a goner for Troy Hunter!
He downs what’s left of his wine, then scrutinizes me with an arched brow. “So, how was Vegas, man?”
“Pretty cool. I went a little overboard, but it was so worth it.” My fork snatches two meatballs out of the twenty in the aptly named Bucket O’ Balls. Needless to say, Matteo couldn’t help but sneer at my choice. Why is my craving for balls a novelty to him? “Thanks for your recommendation on the suite.”
“It was a joke, moron! You guys didn’t need three bedrooms.”
“Au contraire, mon ami!” I wiggle my eyebrows. “We enjoyed the pool and didn’t leave the suite… aside from the night of the concert.”
Matteo helped me plan Troy’s birthday surprise, but we have some catching up to do. Luckily, an opportunity presented itself thanks to Luana’s girls’ night out and Troy’s gig in Portland, Oregon. In truth, I miss him like crazy; we spent so much time together recently that my arms are empty without him to hug. As for my mouth…
I debate on where to place the TMI-meter. There was a time when Matteo and I had no shame. We were two horny teenagers eager to score some easy pussies. But that was then. Giving some thought on what to say next, I cheat, stalling, and break eye contact while examining the contents of my large bucket.
Every time my mouth welcomes another ball, my stupid friend’s gaze betrays his barely hidden amusement as he bites into his sandwich.
“What?” I ask with my mouth half-full. I swallow and inquire, “Do I have something on my face?” As much as I enjoy playing this game, I guess I’m having as much fun as he is. When I ordered my dinner, I knew my choice would lead to my friend being a smartass. Oddly enough, I’m not annoyed in the least that we’re discussing my “new” sex life. I mean, we’re guys and we’re no longer single, so no more details in profusion, which is for the best.
Next week’s massive Halloween party at Matteo’s place, where I’ll proudly introduce the hottest DJ on the planet as my boyfriend, will be a whole other story. At the thought, my heart soars.
“And?” His eyes narrow as he chews on his food. “Stop skirting the subject, Mike. I don’t know what you’re afraid of. You did the exact same thing the first time around. I’m on your side, remember? So, let me repeat the question: And?”
“Such a simple question.” Again, I buy myself some time, one ball at a time, my eyes boring into his. “Such a meaningful question. Such a loaded question…”
“Nah! What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. But I’ll welcome your confession.” He winks. “Sex. Relationship. Future… The whole shebang. You know it’s my duty as your best friend to make sure that you’re okay, whether you’re banging a chick or a dude. But come on, it has to be… different. So… where do you and Troy stand?”
“I know and I appreciate it. I’m fucking with you is all.” I start counting on my fingers. “First, the sex is amazing, and that’s all you’ll get from me. Seriously, though… For the longest time, I envied your chemistry with your Brazilian beauty.” I scratch my neck at my admission. “I finally found it with someone… who happens to be a man. Second, Mr. Anti-commitment acknowledged our ‘relationship status,’ sharing that he’s been exclusive for months and didn’t tell me! Third, we don’t speak about the future... It’s too much, too soon. What matters is we’re comfortable together. His nightlife activities are less time-consuming lately, and that's why I’ve been MIA.”
He puts his fork down and gestures to dismiss my lingering guilt. “I couldn’t be happier for you, Mike.” He pats my bicep and refills my glass with pinot noir. “Has Eileen met Troy?” He considers my mom a friend, hence the first-name basis, but addresses my dad by his last name as I do with the Moretti elders.
Shaking my head, I explain that coming out to her was easier than planned. Her wild guess knocked the wind out of me. Apparently, a slight shift in my demeanor ignited her inquisitive mind. “She says I’m appeased...” I chug my wine as Matteo nods approvingly. “What gave me away, though, is that I stopped disclosing details of mylove lifelike I used to.” Granted, calling it that is a stretch, but my openness with my mom has boundaries. “Asking how it felt to be in love confirmed her assumption. Honestly, she’s the best! It took me a while to register that her answers weren’t gender-specific. Regardless, I want to wait a little before introducing him to my mom. Troy and I aren’t into PDA, but we’re not hiding either. I’ve convinced myself that I don’t care about other people’s reactions, but that’s not entirely true. No one’s called me a faggot to my face yet.”
“Might never happen.”
“I’m sure it eventually will, and I’m hoping my skin will be thicker by then. Also, I don’t want to push him. Meeting my mom would make things somewhat official.” I provide highlights of Troy’s family debacle. “For now, it’s too good to deny, and he’s been so patient with me. I don’t want to force him.”
“You’ll know when the time is right. Why don’t we start with a double date? That is, if I can look past the stardom and see him as your boyfriend.”
“About that… On the flight back from our sex marathon, he mentioned in passing that he knows his DJ success won’t last and isn’t a stable career choice, especially with all of the travel.”
“What’s wrong with wanting financial stability? Not everyone works for fun like us!” I open my mouth to counter his argument. I don’t work for “fun,” but I know what he means. He and I are fortunate enough that we can pursue our passions without worrying about making ends meet, thanks to a hefty trust fund.
“I already told you he works at a bar part-time, right?” Matteo nods, then he reads my mind and orders two coffees. “Out of nowhere, I learn that he’s been scouting locations to invest in a bar and put his management skills to better use. I didn’t want to pry because it doesn’t concern me, but—”
“Whoa!” He holds his index finger in front of my face. “I beg to differ. You said it yourself, you guys are in a relationship.”
“If I’m honest, the fact that he didn’t ask for my opinion or say anything earlier bothers me.”
“Speak up, Mike. That’s how relationships work.” Flagging down the waiter to request the check, he sips on his coffee, which gives me a minute to ponder that thought.
“You’re right. It needs some fine-tuning, but I’m all over the place too. For some reason, I want to come out to my father before my mom sees Troy.” A crease forming between my brows, I shrug noncommittally. Deep down, I’m irked by my own decision process. No matter how hard I fight it, his opinion matters to me. “I’m sure he won’t be as supportive as my mom, yet the masochist part of me is compelled to tell him in person.”
