Page 74 of It Started with a Kiss
Alec nodded, his eyes now filled with sadness as he reached out towards me, and unable to touch me, rested his hand on the table. ‘I think he knows it was for the best too, darling.’
It hurt like hell, but he was right. If Fin had wanted me, he would’ve fought for me when his parents attacked me, and he would’ve ignored Alec’s advice and come to me anyway.
So that was it.
We were definitely over.
It was time to move on, after all, and New York was a good way to do that.
46
Fin
After walking away from the opening night of Star’s exhibition, I was plagued with dreams about her. She was all I could think about. I was enjoying the work at McKendrick Law, but over the past few weeks, my mind was everywhere except on my work. I should have been concentrating on the Inveresk case, seeing as my father had hinted at a possible loophole to get the case overturned. But it was something I couldn’t bring myself to do. For starters, I would have had to figure out the loophole myself. There was no way I could, or would even want to, ask him for help after the way he spoke to Star at the charity ball. His treatment of her was totally unacceptable, and I would never forgive him for that. I lost her that night because of him, and I was unsure how I would ever win her back.IfI could win her back.
The guys from Mr Hyde and I had begun writing our own songs, and we’d been booked for a few more gigs on the back of our first one in the city, thanks to Lily Macrae, the TV presenter and journalist, and her rave review. The only problem was that Star’s face appeared every time I closed my eyes, and every song I had penned in the weeks since I’d last seen her echoed the melancholy that tugged at me deep inside.
After several attempts to make her listen to me, I’d had to admit defeat and give things time. I’d talked it through with Alasdair, with Tom and Siân, and also with the band. They’d all said the same thing. Allowing the dust to settle would give her a chance to think it all through. Maybe that would result in her giving me a chance to explain. I certainly hoped it would.
Although things changed dramatically in a very short space of time.
It was the first Saturday in August, and I was getting ready to play with the guys at Bannerman’s underneath South Bridge. It was a great club with a fantastic atmosphere, and the rest of the band was excited about playing there. My heart wasn’t in it, but it was a night when we would be showcasing some of our original material in amongst the covers we loved.
I was showered and ready. The nerves were jangling, and my heart ached at the fact that my favourite supporter was no longer in my life. I could have done with her calming presence and loving words of encouragement.
As I was about to leave, I noticed an envelope on my doormat. It was late in the afternoon, so I figured it had been delivered by hand. I scrunched my brow and opened it quickly in case it was something important. The envelope was typed, and when I pulled out the folded pages, they were too.
I began to read and my heart almost stuttered to a halt...
Dear Fin,
How do I start this letter and explain all the changes that have happened in my life recently? It’s been a rollercoaster. The exhibition was a great success, but I’m sure you heard all about that from Tom.
On the night of the exhibition, I was presented with an offer I simply can’t refuse. A gallery in New York wants to exhibit my work. It’s a huge opportunity for me, and so I’m sure you can understand my eagerness to accept it.
Knowing you was fun, and I cared for you. But when all is said and done, it wasn’t love. It was just a passing phase. A way to pass the time and enjoy myself. After giving it lots of thought—and in my honest opinion—I now believe your parents were right. I’m just not right for you. You need to be with someone who fits you. Someone who understands your lifestyle in a way I never will.
By the time you read this, I will be on my way to New York to start over, and to see where life takes me. I suggest you do the same.
I wish you well.
All the best,
Star
I flopped onto the couch and scrunched the pages into a ball. Tears needled my eyes. It was over, and there was no turning back. The letter was so cold and without any expression of emotion. That just wasn’t like her. That wasn’t the Star I knew. The fact that she had written a damned letter in the first place was a low blow, especially considering the way she had been hurt by Sully the Sasquatch back in the US. Clearly the success of her exhibition had changed her, which was in itself a huge shock. Did I know her at all?
And New York? Why the hell would she want to go there when she loved Edinburgh so much? Any dim hopes of reconciliation were snuffed out, and anger bubbled up inside me. Why had she never been willing to listen to my explanation? If she had, she would have known that after the charity ball debacle, I told my parents to sod off out of my life for good. That they had no clue how happy she made me, and that I didn’t care what they thought. That she was the one I loved and wanted to spend my life with. She would also have known that the reason I had been so dumbfounded was because my father had expressed love for me for the first time in almost twenty-eight years. It was enough to knock me off my feet and scramble my brain for a few moments. But only until it sank in that they were playing a cruel game.
But I’d never had that chance, and so I had to resign myself to the fact that whatever I felt hadn’t been mutual. She had returned to the US, and no matter how much I loved her, I had to let her go.
As I stared at the crumpled pages of the letter, my mind drifted back to the last time I spoke to Isobel and Campbell Hunter.
Campbell’s eyes followed Star’s retreating form. ‘Quite the little drama queen, isn’t she, your plaything?’
I gritted my teeth and stepped towards him with clenched fists. ‘Don’t you ever speak of my girlfriend that way again. She is the woman I love, and quite frankly, if you don’t like her, that’s just tough shit. I’m in love with her, and she makes me happy. After all these years of waiting for your approval, I think all these sudden expressions of love are a little bit too late, don’t you? The reason you’ve decided you suddenly ‘love’ me is because I’ve finally grown a pair of balls and stood up to you. I’ve found someone I want to be with and something I want to do with my life. And you didn’t get to choose it. So you can both leave me alone. Keep me out of your will. Please, go ahead and do it. I want nothing from you. Because nothing is what I’m used to. You’re both living in la la land if you think for one second that I would ever come back and work for you. And as for you disowning me, no need. Because as of this moment, I consider myself an orphan.’
I turned and went to find McKendrick to tell him I was leaving. To tell him I had to go find my heart, as Star had left with it firmly in her grasp, and that I had been a total idiot to let her walk out of the place without me.
