Page 21 of It Started with a Kiss
But I would have to just get over it.
11
Fin
Days passed by in a blur after my encounter with Star, and I couldn’t seem to shake the feeling that I’d made a mistake of monolithic proportions in letting her walk out of my life like that. But what the hell did I have to offer her? After what had happened with my parents, the company, losing my job and losing the apartment, my head was a mess, and I couldn’t figure out what the hell I wanted to do with my life, let alone involve someone else in my shit.
No one deserved to put up with me in such a crappy frame of mind—least of all someone as sweet as Star Mendoza. Just thinking of her name sent shivers down my back and conjured up images of her face and her porcelain, painted skin. It was like I’d tasted a drug for the first and last time all at once.
My body and soul craved her, but my head was having none of it—insisting on reminding me I was in no position to be starting a relationship until I got my shit together and made some decisions. And I also needed to grow the hell up and stop thinking about what my parents would think of her.
It. Didn’t. Bloody. Matter!
But the problem was, once Iwasstraightened out in my own head, there was very little chance she would give me the time of day. I couldn’t blame her for that.
After a week of staying off the radar, I was bombarded by texts from Tom, wanting to know why I’d disappeared off the face of the earth. After he cajoled me for what seemed like hours, I agreed to meet him at the Jekyll and Hyde bar in the city.
I hadn’t been shaving, and if I’m honest, I’d lost the wherewithal to even care about my appearance. I walked into the bar in my scruffy black jeans and an old Ramones T-shirt that was once black but had now faded to a dirty shade of grey.
Tom stood to greet me—rather uncharacteristically—with a manly bear hug, slapping my back a little too hard. ‘Well, hello, Wild Man of Borneo. Have you brought my good friend Fin Hunter with you by any chance?’ He glanced over my shoulder to emphasise his point.
I gave a snide raise of my lip. ‘Very bloody funny. I need a drink.’
He held up a finger. ‘Back in a sec.’ He jogged through the early evening crowd to the bar and returned a few minutes later with a Jack and Coke. He plonked it down before me and sat down on the stool opposite. ‘So. What’s the story, pal? Where’ve you been?’
After taking a large gulp of the dark, amber liquid, I placed my glass back down and stared into its contents. ‘Hiding in my own personal version of hell. Trying to avoid human contact. You know how it goes.’
He huffed out a long breath. ‘Shit, mate. Are things reallythatbad?’
I glanced up to meet the concerned stare of my best friend. ‘Worse. I just seem to make one mistake after another lately.’
He frowned. ‘What do you mean? What’s happened now?’
I inhaled deeply and closed my eyes for a second, only to open them again when an image of Star popped into my mind. ‘I... I met someone.’
A big grin appeared on Tom’s face. ‘Oh yeah? What’s she like?’
‘She’s beautiful and sweet and quirky.The complete antithesis of Elise.’ My father’s imagined words fell from my lips and my stomach leapt. ‘Oh, and she has pink hair and this stunning ink on her back, like a painting. And her eyes...’ Realising I was maybe talking too much, I let my words trail off as I waited for some snide comment from Tom—especially about the tattoos and pink hair.
Instead, he shook his head and smiled genuinely. ‘Wow. That’s bloody awesome, Fin. Good on you, mate.’
I shook my head as I took another gulp and swallowed. ‘Nope. It’s not in the slightest bit awesome because I totally messed it up, Tom.’
‘I don’t get you.’
I took another swig of my drink, buying a little more time before I confirmed that I was, in fact, a giant imbecile. ‘I asked her out for a drink one night when I was at the karaoke club. That night when you were busy and I went anyway. We... um... we ended up at my place and...’ I waved my hand around, unable to finish the sentence.
‘Oooohooo. So you got your jollies off, mate. Good on you. I still don’t get the problem.’Typical Tom.
Dragging my hands roughly through my hair, I tugged at the roots, annoyed with myself all over again. ‘I really liked her, Tom. But the next morning... after we’d... um...again, I kind of fobbed her off by saying something really lame about having too much shit going on in my life and that she seemed like a really nice girl—’
His eyes widened in horror. ‘You didn’t?’ He’d just confirmed my worst fears in those three words. ‘What did she say after she slapped you?’
Cheers for your support, mate.‘She didn’t slap me, actually. But she pretty much told me to get stuffed. Can’t blame her really.’
‘Awww, mate. I get the feeling you regret that now?’
I shrugged. ‘Yeah. I don’t know, it sounds a bit mental, but I felt... I don’t know...something. Like a... like a connection or something. But that probably sounds insane. I don’t know. I don’t know what it’s like tochoosemy own woman, for goodness sake. How the hell doIknow what I’m talking about?’
