Page 17 of It Started with a Kiss
‘It’s not that I don’t like it, but if I drink coffee this late, I’ll have bizarre dreams. If I get to sleep at all, that is.’
He shook his head in disbelief. ‘Decaf Earl Grey it is, then.’
Curiosity got the better of me, and while he clattered around in the kitchen, which was through a door off the dining area, I tiptoed over to his old stacking stereo system, the likes of which my dad had at home, to check out the pile of vinyl and CDs beside it. In my opinion, you could tell a whole lot about a guy based on his music, and I loved that in the day of the iPod and Spotify, he still had LPs and compact discs.
I thumbed through an eclectic mix of bands feeling a little inferior for my love of all things 80s, especially Fleetwood Mac, Bon Jovi and Madonna. His taste ranged from Queen, Genesis and Rainbow, which I also loved and that took me back to my childhood and my dad’s love of American rock, to bands I had barely heard like Soundgarden, Pearl Jam and A Perfect Circle.Talk about intense taste.He evidently had a thing for real guitars and solid sounds.
Impressive.
‘Do you want to choose something to listen to?’
His voice made me jump and spin round to face him. ‘I wasn’t... I mean, I didn’t mean to—’
He placed two steaming mugs on the oak coffee table in front of the couch. ‘Really, it’s fine. Choose something. The system is pretty ancient but it’s still got amazing sound quality.’
I turned back to the stack of albums and tried to find something that wasn’t exactly romantic. My head was telling me that the last thing I should be doing was getting cosy with him. My fingers landed on a Sisters of Mercy greatest hits compilation album. I removed the shiny disc from its case, hit the eject button on the CD player and slipped the CD into the drawer. Once I’d closed it and hit the random play button, I made my way over to where Fin stood, hands in pockets, with a wry smile on his face. My God, he was stunning. And I was losing my mind. I must have been. Why the hell else would I have been there?
‘Great choice,’ he said as I sat down opposite him in a leather tub chair. It was my head fighting my heart when I chose to sit so far away, and he frowned before sitting down too.
I took a sip of my tea from the mug Fin had placed before me. ‘So, you were going to tell me what happened.’
He huffed out a long breath and ran his fingers through his shaggy hair before looking me in the eyes once again. ‘You’re right. Okay. So, I suppose I should start at the beginning.’
Music played in the background like a movie soundtrack as he recounted the details of his loveless childhood, and my heart ached for him. So much pressure had been placed on him from such a young age. My stomach twisted as his blue eyes closed briefly and then opened again. He had evidently tried so hard to be the perfect son, but nothing he had done had been sufficient for him to win his parents’ approval. How different his upbringing had been from mine. My parents weren’t exactly poor, but I’d been nowhere near as privileged as Fin had materialistically.
But the one thing Ididhave in abundance was love.
Suddenly feeling that the distance between us was too great as he poured his heart out to me, I stood and silently walked to sit beside him.
His nostrils flared and he clenched his jaw before speaking again. ‘I guess... I guess it’s time I stood on my own two feet now. Hence the new place and lack of job. I was forced into this situation, and I had to sell my car to fund this place for a while, but I’m hoping it’ll be the making of me.’ He tilted his face to meet my gaze and his eyes glistened in the lamplight. He held eye contact for a few moments before leaning towards me infinitesimally. I slipped my tongue over my lips in readiness, but he suddenly pulled away and shook his head. ‘Oh, God. Listen to me rambling on like some wimp.’
‘You’re not a wimp, Fin. You’ve been treated awfully by parents who should’ve known better. I don’t know you all that well, but no one deserves to have been ignored like that. No one deserves to have their life mapped out for them and to have no say in how it goes.’
He forced a laugh. ‘Aww, come on. Don’t feel sorry for me. I’m just being pathetic.’
Anger bubbled up from deep within me. ‘No. No you’renot. Don’t think that. Honestly, you deserved so much more.’ Without thinking, I reached my hand out to stroke his cheek, and he turned to face me once again. ‘Somuch more.’
My head was screaming at me to stop this immediately, but my heart wouldn’t listen. It was beating so hard that I could hear my blood thumping in my ears. This time, when he leaned towards me, he didn’t hesitate. He crushed his lips to mine with urgency and inhaled deeply as he slipped his hand into my hair. I gripped the front of his T-shirt as he tilted my head back and plundered my mouth with his tongue.
Every muscle below my waistline clenched with desire, and the groan that emanated from his throat vibrated down my chest where my heart raced at the passionate onslaught. What thehellwas I doing? This wasn’t me. I didn’t behave like this. But regardless of my brain’s protestations, my body betrayed all rational thought as I dove in, tongue first.
He pulled away, his chest rising and falling rapidly. ‘Shit, I’m sorry, Star. I said I’d keep my hands to myself.’
My chest heaved too as I fought to pull air into my starved lungs. ‘Y-you did promise that. But I guess it’s a little late to worry now.’
His brow crumpled and he shook his head. ‘Whatisit about you? Ineveropen up to people.Ever. But you... you draw me in, Star. Something deep inside me just can’t hold back. Sh-should I hold back?’
Yes! Yes, you should. Get up and walk away, Star slutty-whore Mendoza! Get up now! Leave!Once again, my psyche screamed at me, and I was barely gripping onto my sanity as I walked on thin ice, but once again, the inner voice fell on deaf ears.
I shook my head. ‘No. No, I don’t want you to hold back.’
The song ‘Temple of Love’ registered in my foggy mind from the sound system. I loved that track, and it seemed to fit the intensity of whatever the hell was going on between me and Fin.
He searched my eyes for a moment before pulling me into his lap and reigniting the intense connection we had shared only moments before. I grasped at his clothing, unable to get close enough, and before I could protest, I was airborne and being carried from the living room down a corridor. With his mouth still latched onto mine, he raised his leg, kicked open a door behind me, and stumbled into the room. He flicked a switch and a bedside lamp illuminated the space just enough for me to quickly take in my surroundings.
Turning my attention to Fin, I watched as he swallowed hard. ‘My God, you’re beautiful.’ His voice was a thick whisper, and his Scottish accent seemed stronger somehow. My cheeks heated so much I thought I was about to spontaneously combust. No one hadeverlooked at me like that, with such intensity and longing.
He gave a small, disbelieving smile and said, ‘I’ve never wanted anyone like this before.’ The sincerity in his gaze almost knocked the air from my lungs.
