Page 72 of It Started with a Kiss
I watched from a distance, not wanting to be seen, but with a heart so full of the pride I felt for her that I was sure I’d burst. She almost floated round the room in the black and grey, tie-dyed, flowing dress that fitted her personality so well. She looked every bit the classy, gracious host. The artist. My God, and she thoughtshedidn’t fit into my world.I’dthought she didn’t fit into my world at first.Crazy. Shewasmy world. How could I have been so stupid?
Seeing images of myself adorning the walls made me feel a little too conspicuous. I was sure I’d be spotted, and so I kept to the side-lines and watched my girl - myformergirl - as she chatted to eager attendees, her arms gesturing wildly as they did when she was enthusiastic. Seeing her in her element warmed my heart. But even though her beautiful smile was fixed in place, I could tell her heart wasn’t feeling it.Iwas responsible for that. I felt like crap, but what could I do now? There was no way she’d take me back. No way she would accept any kind of apology from me after how I’d treated her.
When she had run out of the ball that night, I had been so confused. But then, when I realised what my father had done—how he had shocked me with his admission of love for me— I realised I had inadvertently appeared to be agreeing to let Star go. How could I have been so damned stupid? How could I have let him manipulate me again? He’d known exactly how to twist the knife and I’d fallen for it, hook, line and sinker. Stupid idiot!
I’d left so many voicemails apologising for my stupidity that I’d lost count. Hell, I’d even typed up letters. Although I hadn’t posted them through her door, as I’d remembered about that arsehole in America who’d dumped her that way. Either she had deleted the voice messages before listening to them or she had listened and deleted them anyway. Whichever it was, my calls had been unreturned and my appearances at her apartment and the coffee shop had been met with threats of police intervention for stalking by Alec.
And so in true stalker fashion, I turned up at the gallery, hiding in the shadows. The urge to go to her. To talk to her. Hell, just to becloseenough to catch the scent of her perfume was almost overwhelming. She stopped at the back of the gallery with Aggie and the people I guessed were her parents. Pride emanated from their beaming smiles and I was so glad she had parents like that. I had cut mine off after the ball. I told them I needed space and that they couldn’t manipulate me any more but it was too late. I’d lost the one person I didn’t want space from.
I watched Star sip her champagne as her eyes flitted nervously over the crowd of people who were all in awe of her work. Was she looking for me? The stone pillar before me shielded me well as I tried my damnedest to pluck up the courage to go and congratulate her. To say how proud I was to have known her, and to have called her my friend. To tell her how stupid I was and that I hadn’t intended for things to happen how they did; that I’d been caught off guard.
But I wasn’t supposed to be there, so my words would remain as prisoners, along with my heart. I watched her with a group of friends and family. She laughed and threw her head back, and my mind was suddenly flooded with memories of her laughing with me; of her chocolate brown gaze fixed on my every word as I sang. Of how I loved her then. The feeling of her beneath me as I worshipped her body was almost tangible, and I closed my eyes, inhaling a deep and calming breath.
Resting my head on the cool stone for a moment, I realised Ihadto do it. Ihadto talk to her. It was now or never. Even if it was only to tell her how proud I was. It had been far too long since I’d heard her voice. With my resolve set firm, I opened my eyes again and lifted my gaze in her direction once more. A tall guy with silvery black hair was standing beside her.Dammit. I watched with interest as the man smiled atmyStar. She peered up at him, open-mouthed and with a crease between her brows. What was he saying to her? She looked shocked,incredulous even, at whatever it was. I hoped he was being kind. Not harming her with his words as my parents had done. She didn’t deserve that. Her parents and friends slipped away but the man continued to talk and I could sense my opportunity to speak to her slipping away. I had to make a decision whether to go and interrupt, and I had to be quick. My stomach twisted, and anxiety reached my heart, making it hammer almost in time with the music playing over the sound system.
I clenched my jaw as I continued to watch the stranger with my girl. An air of self-importance oozed from him, and I was jealous. Whowashe? And what was he saying to her that had her so mesmerised? A waiter passed me by, and I placed my empty glass on his tray. My nostrils flared and my fists clenched.
Come on, Hunter. It’s now or never.
‘I think you should go, Fin.’ Alec’s voice startled me, and I swung my head to meet his piercing eyes.
Speaking through my clenched jaw, I told him, ‘I’m staying put, Alec. I’vegotto talk to her. She needs to know—’
‘She needs toforget, Fin. Don’t be cruel. You made it clear she doesn’t fit into your world. Now leave her alone, okay? Do her that one small grace.’ His eyes pleaded with me, but there was no malice there. What I saw was pity.
I pulled my lips in between my teeth and bit down hard. I told myself that my eyes were watering because I’d almost drawn blood, but deep down I knew it was because he was telling me something I didn’t want to hear.
He placed a hand on my shoulder. ‘She’s come this far, Fin. If you go and talk to her now, she’ll be back to square one. Don’t do that to her. If you care for her at all, you’ll walk away. I love that girl like a sister. I can’t watch you break her heart all over again. Please, Fin. Justleave.’
He was right. I closed my eyes for a moment again and tried to get a handle on my emotions. Ihatedthat he was right. Absolutelyhated it.
Once I had opened my eyes and met his determined gaze again, I nodded. ‘Okay. You’re right. But will you at least tell her I asked you to pass on a message? Just... tell her that...thisis wonderful.’ I gestured around the room. ‘That she’s done an amazing job and that her photographs are stunning. Tell her I’m so sorry I hurt her. It kills me to know I did that, and I regret it more than she can ever know. She didn’t deserve to be treated so callously.’ My eyes stung, and I cleared my throat before I continued. ‘Tell her I wish her all the success in the world, Alec. I wish her every bitof happiness that I couldn’t give her. She deserves this. And... and I didn’t deserve her.’ My voice broke, and with a heaviness in my heart, I turned and walked away.
I knew there was absolutely no chance he would pass the message on. But at least I’d told him.
At leastheknew how I felt about her.
That would have to do.
45
Star
I fell back to reality with a bump on the day following the exhibition. The coffee shop had been busy on and off, but my concentration levels were worse than normal. Alec was in the shop for once, and he had ordered me to grab an iced tea and go take a break. I took my cup out to one of the bistro tables on the precinct just outside the door and sat there in a daze. Thankfully the sun was shining and I watched people stroll by with their bags and briefcases, going about their usual routines, and there I was with the words of Marshall Davies, Napier Gallery director, rolling around inside my head.
‘Whatever it takes... I want your work for my gallery... name your price...’
I was in a world of my own when I felt the table dip. I looked up and inhaled sharply.
‘Hello, Star.’ The way Isobel Hunter said my name in that well-to-do, husky voice of hers spoke clearly of the utter disdain she felt for my very existence.
I straightened my back. ‘Mrs Hunter. Why are you here?’
A sly smile barely crept across her perfectly botoxed features. ‘Oh, I think you know.’
I sighed deeply and shook my head, hoping my exasperation was evident. ‘No. I’m sure I don’t.’ I forced a fake smile, unwilling to let her know her presence bothered me.
She cocked her head to one side. ‘I’m here to talk to you about New York.’
